Do I pay for all their coffees and drinks?

[Argentinasnargentina]

Dd’s birthday party this weekend. It’s at a soft play/activity type place. It’s three hours long and will include lunch provided by the establishment-pizzas, cheeseburgers, sweets, fruit platter, water and juices, cupcakes etc.
There are ten children coming with parents, the place has a cafe/coffee bar selling drinks & snacks.
As we’re hosting, what do I do? I feel
a bit uncomfortable with parents coming and having to buy their own coffee and cold drinks but the other option to have it open and we pay the bill at the end scares me a bit!
The party with all food included and an entertainer coming has cost a lot and the lunch will be plentiful

Not sure what to do?

There's no strict etiquette. Some people provide tea and coffee, others don't (I actually prefer it when nothing is provided, I quite like to get myself a slice of cake or something which I can't do on someone else's tab 😬).

We set up a tab at my youngest last party, the staff said they usually find people chose not to use it unless they are close to you already anyway- we set a cap of £50 for 20 children's adults, it came to £30 (and £7 was my husband!)

This.

If you can afford it, offer everyone a drink. No obligation to do this. Equally everyone who wants one will get their own if you don't.

After 5 everyone drops and runs anyway and you get less people staying.

No don't pay for all the coffees. You're paying for the kids to have fun not for an adult coffee morning. I'd buy a coffee for someone if I was getting one for myself and I'd been chatting to them... but a jug of tea and jug of coffee sounds like a good plan as an alternative

Parents can but their own - you're paying for the party which will cost you loads.

I would buy my own. Even at a party where there was an open tab for the parents I still bought my own!

At similar parties in my DCs friendship circle the parents usually come round and ask if you'd like a drink and buy the first round. I've also been where the host parents brought a big freezer box with them full if cans/ bottles of water for adults (depends if your venue allows this).

I do think you should check with the venue about drinks for children before lunch. In my experience most venues allocate you a table to put your stuff in the cafe area and provide jugs of squash. Kids will be thirsty before the lunch. I've also seen some parents provide fruit shoot or similar or water bottles for kids.

We did a similar party and grown ups pay for their own drinks, it seems to be the norm because all the ones we’ve been to do the same.
The drinks are expensive so I certainly wouldn’t run a tab!

At the parties I've been to like this set up the parents buy their own drinks but tap water is offered if they want it free.

We always bought the first one. Was always happy to buy our own at other people’s parties though.

That’s what I did

Don’t feel awkward about it……the children are the invitees, not parents surely!? It is a kids party, not a community social. If they want coffee they should expect to pay…….set up a table and you can guarantee at least one of them will have several, very costly drinks!

That should be ‘tab’ not table!

About 10 coffees, at £2 each. Tasted grim, but an early party in a soft play hellscape meant I felt offering at least the first round of coffees was a must. Lots didn't drink anything.

Unless they are only 4 years old or younger I wouldn’t stay for 3 hours, you may not have an issue if parents leave

Let them pay for it themselves. I wouldn’t expect to be given food/drink at a children’s party

I have 4 sons and with all my eldest children, I always bought my own drinks + one for the hosting parents when i arrived if they wanted one. The rest of us parents would also take it in turns to buy the big jugs of squash for the children if it wasn't included with the party package. (Edited for spelling)

The party is for the kids, the adults can buy their own coffees imo

There's not really a hard and fast rule tbh! We have been to parties when it has been served by the parents (usually not at soft play tbh! They have tended to be self-catered), parties where there was nothing other than a cafe you could pay for, parties where there was nothing for parents at all, parties where there was just water for all, parties where there were can for parents, and parties where the parents could have one coffee each from the cafe....so all kinds! Kids always provided with water and squash or juice.

I generally go assuming that I have to pay
At DD's party, we just provided some bottled drinks (water, soft drinks) that parents could clearly help themselves to - we were allowed to self cater, though (leisure centre).

Occasionally people ran a tab but I wouldn't expect it.

I’ve been to loads of soft play parties. Jugs of juice on the table for the children is usually provided, then more jugs in the party room. It’s usually included in the party package. Adults pay for their own.

This is what I did at when we had a soft play party. Offer a first drink (many said no to be fair) and then if they want more that's on them.

At soft play parties I've never seen an issue with buying my own drink. I wouldn't expect it paid for, I think maybe once the host family have bought them. I always think its nice when it's made clear that once the children have eaten then parents are free to have something (if they want) from the food if its a buffet type spread. The parties are usually over a meal so I end up acting like a ninja trying to steal an egg mayo sandwich if its not clear that parents can have one!

I appreciate these parties are expensive and its nice for my DC to be invited and have the time with their friends. Ones for my DC have always been nearby and convenient. I think if I'd ferried the DC 90 minutes for a 3 hour niche activity on my weekend off I'd probably secretly expect at least a coffee!

No way would I pay for other adults drinks.

Ive never expected this from other parents and ive never eaten the food or drank the drinks intended for the kids.

I do think as PPs have suggested, asking for a jug of water for the parents is a nice idea and make them fully aware of it.

But the parents can last half a day without a hot drink.
They would be CFs to suggest otherwise but if you offer it then they’ll likely accept, so just don’t offer.

As a parent I would expect child's food and drink to be paid for but would expect to buy my own coffee or snacks. If concerned you could buy the first drink, they buy subsequent drinks