Do I pay for all their coffees and drinks?

[Argentinasnargentina]

Dd’s birthday party this weekend. It’s at a soft play/activity type place. It’s three hours long and will include lunch provided by the establishment-pizzas, cheeseburgers, sweets, fruit platter, water and juices, cupcakes etc.
There are ten children coming with parents, the place has a cafe/coffee bar selling drinks & snacks.
As we’re hosting, what do I do? I feel
a bit uncomfortable with parents coming and having to buy their own coffee and cold drinks but the other option to have it open and we pay the bill at the end scares me a bit!
The party with all food included and an entertainer coming has cost a lot and the lunch will be plentiful

Not sure what to do?

At a party in a soft play that we were invited to the birthday boy’s Dad sort of just greeted us and quite quickly asked if he could get us a hot drink etc. He went to the counter like anyone else, ordered 2-3 at a time and then took them over to the parents. I declined as they’re usually quite expensive and I think being invited is enough for the host to pay (personally) and I really expected to have to buy my own drink should I need one. I thought it was a lovely touch and it’s a few years ago and I haven’t forgotten it though. I imagine he felt more comfortable doing that than letting people order whatever they wanted and having a tab, even the nicest people take the piss when they see something free. The family are Polish living in England, not sure if that’s relevant regarding the way people host.

I’ve just read a few comments - it’s absolutely not expected that the host will provide a fancy £3-£4 coffee for parents around here so maybe the area you’re from dictates what’s the norm. I would just have a coffee before I went if I couldn’t afford it. It astounds me that some people can’t go 2 hours without a drink or food. I can’t imagine ever accepting something from the menu that I can see costs that amount of money, knowing the host will have to pay for everyone.

I always set up a tab at my DC parties at soft play centres etc for tea and coffee for parents - it was always very well received but I can honestly say I have never been to a kids party where other parents have done that

Totally normal for parents to just buy their own. Never in my 13 years of attending birthday parties have I had a host buy me a coffee. That would be awkward. Yes, at the village hall, you make coffees and teas for everyone because there isn’t a cafe. But at soft play or similar venue, everyone knows to buy their own.

I wouldn’t like it if someone offered to buy me anything because I’d feel like I couldn’t order the more expensive thing and the brownie that I really want. If parents can’t afford a coffee, they’ll bring one in a flask. This really isn’t a thing to stress about.

My two went to many parties and I never expected the kids parents to pay for my coffee or soft drink.

Parents buy their own at soft play parties. At our Church Hall parties (x2) I did go around and do teas and coffees.

I’ve been to a lot of these and usually the host buys one coffee per parent and it’s not an open tab

I usually offer to buy the first a brief “would anyone like tea or coffee) most people refuse and go on to get their own. I definitely wouldn’t be buying a second.
I always buy my own when I attend one of these types of parties.

All the parties I've been to we've brought our own or at the venue, it's absolutely not expected IME. Xxx

If you're providing coffees for ten parents, how much is that. Buy a coffee these days - £3.50? ,£35! This is a party for the kiddies, not the grownups!

I’ve been to many soft play parties over the years and always bought our own drinks. Everyone does where we live. I’ve only been offered a drink once and the party was in the garden so it was just a table of Pepsi max cans.

There really is no need to buy everyone a drink

The adults can pay for their own drinks etc. You've covered enough.

Don't buy the parents drinks - every party I've been to has been about the kids and I've been super grateful that they're getting a free playtime with their friends and lunch. I'd more feel like I need to buy the host a coffee to say thank you! It's stressful arranging a party! I think it's very normal that parents get their own things.

I’ve never known a kids party where the adults are provided for. I have been to many soft play parties and would not expect it and happy to buy whatever I want.
also a 3 hour party is very long!

There is a popular soft play in the next village along to the one where our kids go to school and they run cheap afterschool soft play entry, allow parents to bring their own food and then a cake etc. it runs like this till 5pm then closes. If you want an organised party, they cost 5x the entry but include exclusive use of the soft play building, a meal for each child and party bags are available (at extra cost).

Most parents at our school, especially in KS1, use the term time offer to host affordable whole class parties which don’t go on too long and leave the worst of the clearing up to someone else (we all clear up the food, party bags debris, paper tableware etc but the venue cleans the tables and floor afterwards and empties the bins!). Last year I paid for a couple of other parents who were helping me out with preparing the party, and I paid for their other kids to come in; a couple of families have annual passes so told me not to pay for their children and they would use their passes. Any other siblings were paid for by the parents who also paid the £2 fee for themselves to get in.

The parents that wanted drinks from the venue cafe paid for them themselves - and a few offered to get my husband and I something if we wanted it!! This is normal for the parties we go to.

OP my experience is, very common to offer a bit of pizza then cake to the parents but when they arrive offer to get them a coffee. Many decline but at least you offered. Good luck!

Definitely parents buy their own if they’re staying! You could buy the first ‘round’ if you can afford another £50 to go in the party, or just provide a jug of water for the parents and children at all times.

Nope adults fend for themselves! Would never turn up to a party assuming I’d have drinks purchased for me.

Of the handful of parties I’ve been to at a venue all apart from one have been a case of parents buy their own. The parents bought drinks at one party I went to and I was surprised as I wouldn’t never expect my drinks to be bought - parties are expensive enough as it is!

Try not to worry too much, parents of young children are used to eating half eaten sandwiches & pizza crusts & if they are wise & thirsty will take the first glug out of their kids squash which rarely all gets drunk! I’ve been to countless parties from trampolines/soft play to function rooms with a bar & every parent has always bought their own & never expected anything- bonus points for somewhere that serves alcohol lol!