About the 80 page white floral dress thread. Update from the bride. Should I photoshop SILs white dress?

[theGFnowWife]

Hiya
Was umming and aahing about posting this here or in the chat section but AIBU is where the other threads were posted. IYKYK. I have had the (dis)pleasure of reading all 80 pages.

I'm the bride and I can confirm my SIL did turn up wearing the dress to the wedding. My best friend/MoH waited until after the wedding to show me the threads since some of the posts were a bit horrid tbh and she was so right I didn't need to see that before the wedding. She organised a post wedding girls night for me and the rest of our friends group who came to the wedding and that really was such a brilliant and surprisingly entertaining way to read through and digest it all with a few glasses of wine, some music and lots of love and support.

The consensus after last night's wine & whine is that I should keep shtum about the dress and the threads to MIL/SIL in person and that it would be better to create this thread and who knows they might come across it

Another idea that was floated last night was photoshopping the wedding photos with SIL in them to make her dress pink or yellow. If this is an awful idea we blame the wine!!

They're all as bad as each other. The dress in question was fine. It didn't need any comment from the bride but the wearer of the dress made a massive deal of the whe saga. Everyone involved, included the guests who commented comes across as an absolute dick.

I was the one that texted MiL not DH. I just said it would be a faux pas [where I am from] if you're going to wear the white dress on the day, but it is lovely and would be perfect for the day before. I was trying to bridge a cultural gap but it was stupid of me

If I remember the other thread correctly though, that white dress hanging up was SIL dress, but it wasn't THE dress that she was planning on wearing, did they do that to wind you up?

And you never mentioned it at the time, but then you text MIL to say she shouldn't wear white? Which she passed on to SIL which prompted her threads.

So what did MIL actually wear?

And were you offended by what SIL ended up wearing? It was a mixed bag of opinions on here.

Thank you!!

Well this is exciting!

Yeah, the dress was too white for any wedding where the bride wanted white reserved for the bride. It sticks out on photos, it's an old tradition, whatever.

AI is your friend - keep her in the photos but make subtle very unflattering adjustments.

Nothing like starting a marriage with a family feud 😂

I'm quite confused. I remember the other thread and I thought the dress was fine. I can't see what the point of this thread is though.

I did not request this 🤔

After seeing this thread I sought out the previous one as didn’t see it at the time. The dress was lovely and appropriate for a wedding.

No idea if they did it to wind me up or whose dress it was tbh I just tried to communicate to MIL that other guests would side eye someone wearing that and make comments, which did end up happening. She wore a light brown dress with black flowers on and it was actually such a lovely dress

That just makes your guests sound as tedious and performative offended as you.

Giving the "side-eye" to someone wearing a completely normal wedding guest dress is really pathetic. As is your attempt to make this non-event so dramatic.

The dress was fine, perfectly appropriate for a guest to wear to a wedding. Anyone who chose to "side eye" someone wearing that dress was being petty and ridiculous.

Are the other threads still up? The dress was one thing but I remember the OP being quite cutting about OP and the wedding itself.. I assume this OP has only started this thread to let her SIL that she knows everything she said about her.. without her ever having to mention it in person.

As an added bonus, she is probably hoping people are quite nasty about her SIL to make her feel better, the OP on the other thread was a bit of a knob.

OR plot twist, the OP of that one and the OP of this one are actually the same person and they just thrive on the drama of it all!

I can see why you'd say that. Interesting that people don't put much weight on customs/traditions outside the UK for something like a wedding. I would want to factor that into my choices but I can see that some people might not want to.

It's only a custom to not wear all white. The idea that any white background with a floral pattern is included in this and is worthy of comment is pure bridezilla crap.

Please don't be nasty about anybody in this thread. You are right about your assumption otherwise.

And did you mind the dress that SIL ended up wearing? It was a nice dress, but it had a lot of white on it, the opinions were very much mixed on here, you really get the deciding vote to be honest.. you've got to tell us what you thought of it!! 😂

Well, this all very meta, isn’t it?

It is just a wedding. I feel so sorry for your husband what an awkward position he has been put in. No one gives a shit what someone wears to a wedding? I think you come out worse than your SiL. What a pointless thing to do over a dress.

Not much of a plot twist, I think most of us are thinking it's the same author 😂

it's "only a custom" in the UK. In other places it's more than just a custom. Which was the case for this wedding.

This is the issue now though, the white dress hanging up was NOT the dress that SIL was even planning on wearing (the hobbs one, that she showed all of us), it was just a random (staged?) white dress which prompted OP to remind MIL that wearing a white dress like that would be inappropriate.. which she then told SIL about.. which prompted HER thread.

The Hobbs dress that the SIL picked was not the white dress that OP saw in person at MIL.

Where is it a custom to be such a narcissist to think that a guest wearing a dress with any white on it at all is offensive? And where is it a custom for guests to be so bored and shallow they spend the day commenting on other dresses and feeding that back to the nride?

I dont think you understand what different cultures or customs mean based on the way you have written that

Then explain to me what culture means that wearing a dress with a white background, not an all white dress, isn't acceptable and what culture thinks gossiping spitefully about other guests is acceptable.

again, basedon on how you are writing, it doesn't sound like you would be very receptive to anything I have to say about anything. if you want to learn more about other cultures, I don't think I'm the right person to help you. but you can try google