To leave DH family WhatsApp group?

[IslaWhitey]

To leave DH’s family WhatsApp group?

Just to reduce my own admin / phone admin which is getting too much.

No specific drama or anything.

I would explain they can go via DH re future family arrangements, (and obviously contact me directly should they still wish to speak to me specifically)

DH is not on my family WhatsApp and I’m getting fed up with being the “organiser” for stuff with his side of the family. I’ve only tolerated it this long for DC benefit of seeing cousins.

I would just mute it and don't respond in it. Remind DH that he needs to be looking at the chat and responding

Why not just mute it and let your DH respond?
I think it'd look a bit rude leaving.

Tried muting it but I keep checking

No this is a bad idea - you need to tell your husband he’s in charge of any admin coming out of the group and then mute the notifications but it’s not worth the fallout of taking yourself off.
add him to your family one to even it out though!

Just mute it and don’t check it!

Its obvs going to ruffle some feathers if you leave the group. I'd be tempted to stay but @ your DH in the group everytime there's a task to be done. Makes it clear you aren't taking on the responsibility for it.

And tell your DH to step up with his family's demands.

My ils never had my mobile number.
<shudders at thought >

Sounds fair enough. The problem with muting it is that people will still post on there and expect you to see the stuff. Could you say something like “I’m trying to cut back on my use of WhatsApp so am leaving all groups. Please message DH or me directly”.

I archived it. So it's just somewhere else but I haven't left as far as anyone is concerned.

Archive it. Or put it in locked chats and then you won’t even get notifications

Just archive at and don't respond.

whilst I agree with this it might not stop them messaging you directly /with things for you to organise.....still prefer a public bouncing of the job to your DH!

I wouldn't leave - that's potentially going to make you look bad, whereas really it's your DH who should look bad. Just mute or archive it. Go on every so often to like a baby photo or join in happy birthday messages etc.

Then stop organising anything with DH's family and tell him it's up him from now on.

If anyone from his family asks, just say you've both decided he'll organise stuff with his fam, and you'll organise stuff with yours.

Do it. Leave the group. For years I was like you, toeing the line, being the go-to. In my case, the ILs didn't make much effort with me, basically just using me as admin / host / enjoying the presents and cards I organised but not acknowledging me or reciprocating. Then I thought fuck it, not doing that anymore and stopped. I am quite happy to be seen as difficult.

Interestingly they've started making more of an effort. So overall things have improved vastly.

Do it and don't worry about the fall out. There may be murmurings but say your DH is dealing with that. It'll soon stop

just archive the group, learn not to check notifications, tell DH to arrange everything with his side, don't suggest they contact you if they want anything, that way it will be worse than being in the group

I would post before you leave saying “just to let you know, DH and I have decided that going forward, he won’t be in my family WA and I won’t be in his, just so we can both reduce our SM traffic a bit. Didn’t want anyone to think they had upset me. This isn’t a flounce 😆”

If your DH is on the group, why do you need to be?

then get a grip

Careful what you wish for
it’s alright saying to DH he’s in charge which is fine but then don’t expect him to run everything past you for approval
at least if your in control you can pick and choose more

Archive then ignore it. Leaving will make a statement and might cause unnecessary problems.

Just mute

Yeah just mute it.

I love how it's considered 'admin' though 🤣

LTB?

Mute and archive

Send a link to DH to join so you can leave. If he doesn’t, leave yourself.