Being told that as a size 18 I can’t wear certain clothes

[isaidmaybeyoure]

I do appreciate that when posting canvassing for opinions on outfits etc., you will get all sorts of responses.

But I have been told a few times now that as a size 18, I should cover up and not expose too much skin, basically purely because of my size.

AIBU to think this isn’t okay? I have as much a right to get my shoulders out as any other size!

Are you actually just trying to gaslight people now??

It's as clear as day and even clearer in the back shot of the model.

Either way, I've never seen so much fuss made about a dress in my life.

Wear it or don't, but even most brides wouldn't illicit this amount of attention over their actual wedding dress!

Gaslight? She looks absolutely lovely!

If you mean the one in the colourful dress, she had the most beautiful face.

Far nicer than the gaunt, lacklustre faces many judgmental low BMI types have - but of course you can't😶 say that! Oh no, no. Such double standards.

You can think she looks lovely, but she is still overweight.

@PrettyPickle Its this one

ASOS DESIGN Curve chiffon high neck maxi dress in multi abstract print | ASOS

I think she does look lovely, but she does also look overweight, because she is (as am I, to the tune of a few stone, I am also a size 18). I'm not 100% sure this dress is flattering, as gives no waist, but I do really like it.

Thank you for clarifying that you actually are trying to gaslight people.

Did I say she didn't look lovely or did I say that it's clear she's overweight?

Again, she is very clearly overweight.

You refusing to admit that doesn't change a thing.

She looks enormous, and anything but lovely. You’re in denial because you’re also large.

You can look lovely and be over weight, that lady does look lovely but is significantly over weight, and likely obese.

Yes, but the point is no-one would say "she does have a decent bmi but she still has a gaunt, wrinkly face to maintain that weight."

Dressing appropriately is subjective though.
What you might think is inappropriate might be perfectly acceptable to someone else.
Why is how someone dresses anyone else's business anyway?

She looks lovely. I am not in denial about my weight and she is objectively a far more attractive lady than the average on the street.

As are nearly all models for clothing brands, it isn’t as she’s fat.

She said it was on Reddit

No but the reason people feel they can comment negatively is her weight.

No-one thinks it is acceptable to comment negatively about ugliness - which IS exacerbated in many case by low BMI. The point is a double standard about being rude.

Sometimes, people are the worst.

Bodies are brilliant and amazing. They do all kinds of stuff we don’t understand so that we can move and think and bear children and care for others and millions of other brilliant things. Bodies are beautiful. All of them. In different ways for different reasons.

People telling you to cover up are fundamentally telling you that they hate their own body and don’t want to be reminded of it. Don’t let them bully you into hating yours,

Are you looking at the right photos (am I)? The 5ft 10" size 8 model in the black halterneck Nobodys child dress that the OP has selected is overweight - Really?She is not overweight, it is not a fact, one of us is deluded or looking at the wrong photo's?

The lady with her head scribbled out in the black and white polka dot dress is the OP, and she has a slim neck and shoulders so should look fine in the dress.

Why do woman pull down other woman so meanly. No need for it.

The one thing I'm getting from the OP on this thread and the other one, is that she seems to think you cannot be overweight and look lovely.

Even on the other thread, she said 'She's not overweight, she's gorgeous'.

Perhaps if you learned the two things aren't mutually exclusive OP, you'd be happy to admit she's clearly overweight.

And gorgeous with it.

Um what, no it’s not. And no one it’s ugly, there are shades of attracrifness and grooming is a large part of it. But being a healthy weight doesn’t make you uglier, what a bloody odd thing to write.

You are mean and rude beyond belief!

Has anyone said she isn’t attractive? She is overweight though, there is no denying that.

I don’t think the dress looks good on her, but I’m not sure it would look good on anyone, it’s just not very nice. It looks cheaply made. I do think when you’re a big as she is, that clothes made from better fabrics will look better. When you are slimmer, it is easier for clothes to flatter you usually.

Wow! Do you enjoy bullying women on the internet?

This is a very click bait thread OP. You asked for an opinion from strangers online and got a negative remark from someone who doesn't know you and hasn't seen you. Lots of online comments are intentionally nasty regardless of what you post. And it was one comment. Your post implies that family or colleagues or sales assistants are making mean comments to you, like its a 'thing'. It isn't.

Hello, Serena Williams.

People can be both extremely fit, with toned muscles, and need a larger size precisely because of that.

No she’s not! This is what winds me up. A woman at a healthy weight is shamed for being a healthy weight!

You can’t win either way when you’re plus size! I used to get little digs and laughs aimed towards me for wearing jumpers and jeans in the height of summer. Now I just do not care. I’m not sure what changed but I just thought “fuck it”. My weight fluctuates a lot and I’m absolutely sick of spending the summer feeling uncomfortable and hot. If somebody wants to judge me and feel disgusted by the lipedema on my arms, that says a lot more about them than it does me.