Being told that as a size 18 I can’t wear certain clothes

[isaidmaybeyoure]

I do appreciate that when posting canvassing for opinions on outfits etc., you will get all sorts of responses.

But I have been told a few times now that as a size 18, I should cover up and not expose too much skin, basically purely because of my size.

AIBU to think this isn’t okay? I have as much a right to get my shoulders out as any other size!

Well that model is clearly not a healthy weight from a current medical perspective. But she can be from yours though I guess. I think she looks really lovely. But yeh, she looks medically overweight.

With regards arms, I was just thinking my size 18 SIL has her arms out all the time. She has thin arms, thin face, all her weight goes on lower half (very extreme pear). I, on the other hand, am a healthy weight (size 10) , but think twice about getting arms out cos all my weight goes on my arms and thighs. Not in a million years would I wear shorts. So I dont think size is the issue here - its body shape. And confidence.

How do you know? You can barely see her body, you don’t know how much she weighs!

Of course we can all wear what we like but whether it suits us or not is another matter. Weight as well as height, age and colouring can make a difference - that's just fact. We don't all look the same and we don't all think the same. A long dress on a short person would swamp them, pale colours might wash some people's complexions out etc. You do you OP and don't take on board any negative comments or advice if that's how you feel.

Have a look at Rants and Big Pants on Instagram for inspiration (on clothes and life!)

You should wear whatever you like. To me exposing your shoulders in summer is something you see people of both sexes and all sizes doing.

I personally don't think exposed stomach in cropped tops looks good on many people though. Even the very slim often can't pull it off. So I probably would tell practically anyone to avoid that look. If they asked my opinion.

Unless you're on the beach or sunbathing or whatever.

I guess this does prove the mumsnet saying of ‘we have lost sight of what a healthy weight looks like’ if you think the model is a healthy weight.

I wasn't talking about this thread, I was talking about the OP's other thread that prompted this one.

OP. When someone is giving advice on clothing it is usually in response to someone asking will I look nice in X?

There is a whole world of difference in just wearing it and not being bothered what anyone thinks, to looking nice, to looking amazing. And then everyone has a different view on what amazing is and what it looks like.

So if you don’t care what anyone thinks, just wear it, it’s your body. IF the opinion of someone or people is important to you, then I’m sure you’ll think more carefully about what suits you.

At the end of the day the average slim person will look better than the average fat person. That’s why slim interesting models are used to sell clothes.

So if you don’t want someone’s opinion, don’t ask for it. Simples.

I think I saw that thread. Was it the barbecue post wedding?

If so, you are right, you didn't ask for any comments on your weight. I noticed all sizes were sold out between 4 and 14 and posted that and you had not, until then, even mentioned size 18. It only came up because of my comment about sizing available.

So you are absolutely correct (if I have the right thread). People just feel weight is something they can comment on rudely and aggressively if it involves being above average size.

Can I just flag up that a size 14 in 1986 would be a size 8 to 10 today? Honestly OP, wear what you like, you'll be dammed whatever 😂 I've spent my entire life hiding because people keep telling me I'm 'big.' I was that 1986 size 14 with my 27 inch waist and 36 inch hips with 36C or D boobs. I was also 5ft 9 with size 8 feet so actually quite slim for my build....the saddest thing is that I believed everyone telling me that I was huge.

Whatever you wear someone will have an opinion. The only one you need worry about is your own!

Bully for you

If you're referring to the model on the other thread, I don't know how much she weighs but from the photos she is clearly very overweight.

I’m not being an arse but saying that your friend is ‘toned’ and ‘size 18’ doesn’t make any sense.

Which dress for the evening do of a wedding? | Mumsnet

Maybe it's already been linked.

You can’t be serious? 🫠

I searched her name and couldn't find another thread. Oh well.

what a nasty and totally insane response to a totally normal question. I am a bi woman who is just more into fat people than thin - I put on weight deliberately because i realised I wanted to be hot too. Bizarre that people live so much in their own echo chamber they truly believe nobody finds larger women attractive.

nothing to do with you op, people who are vile to fat people do so because it’s seen as socially acceptable. Tells you everything you need to know about their ethics and who they actually, you know, are. 😬

Please, tell me more about how you personally finding excess adipose unattractive gives you carte Blanche to abuse fat people… Jesus wept!

It’s true. You can’t judge someone’s weight just by looking at them. Claiming she looks “very overweight” is just bollocks

I'm a size 18 and I love a halterneck. Draws in the eye from my all in wrestlers shoulders and creates boobs where I have very little. I like that dress OP and I'd wear it with no hesitation.

Yes and the horrid comments about the lovely model

The model is overweight.... the model in the black dress is overweight, that's a fact! Really? She must weight 140lbs wet through, and you think she looks overweight, have you got beer goggles on? If not you need to see an optician. That woman has a great figure.

And just for information, it states the model is a UK size 8 at 5'10" so she is categorically not overweight by any medical, fashion, or industry standard.

Honestly, why do women think its ok to pull down other women.

And flip flops and sliders. They can burn in Hell as well...

Black dress? No. Wrong model.

You are correct that fat-bashing is the last socially acceptable form of discrimination - so the pent-up vitriol of the vitriolic tends to find release on the topic.

Unless it's crocs, they can bugger off

They will have to prise my crocs off my cold, dead feet. In fact, sod that, I shall be cremated in them!
Crocs or Birkenstocks. Good grief I'm so out of style I cringe at myself sometimes.

As for you @isaidmaybeyoure , wear what you damn well want. Free the shoulders!