Being told that as a size 18 I can’t wear certain clothes

[isaidmaybeyoure]

I do appreciate that when posting canvassing for opinions on outfits etc., you will get all sorts of responses.

But I have been told a few times now that as a size 18, I should cover up and not expose too much skin, basically purely because of my size.

AIBU to think this isn’t okay? I have as much a right to get my shoulders out as any other size!

I’m guessing she’s modelling the outfit hence why she’s wearing it
I’m not going to stop wearing a bikini just because I’m a size 18

OP can you not see that you have made a link between overweight and not looking lovely. It doesn’t exist in these examples.

“She looks enormous and anything but lovely”.

Enormous comment isn’t kind, but it doesn’t say she looks enormous therefore anything but lovely. It says and anything but lovely. They are two completely separate ideas and one is not causing the other.

“you are also large”

Again, this could be phased gentler, but this is about someone’s size and nothing about whether they are attractive or not.

I think you are making links between being overweight and ugly that others aren’t.

The woman in the asos picture is overweight. She is a really pretty woman but is also overweight.

Did no part of you think what’s fhe likely hood of mumsnet saying a size 8 is visibly over weight, maybe I’m looking at the wrong dress?

You can’t buy taste!

But you could hire a personal shopper?

@walkingmyway same here! I'm 5'10 and a size 14 and I am healthily slim, definitely not big. I have broad shoulders and hips which simply don't fit in a size 10 or 12. Never have, never will. I'm in proportion and I'm not carrying any extra weight, yet because of my frame I'm a size 14 and I am totally comfortable with that.

Oh give over. You know exactly what that poster is getting at!

Also doesn’t help that multiple posters have said I look awful, which is just unkind and untrue.

I’m afraid I don’t. I think the model is overweight and that she is lovely looking. I’m not trying to get at anything, that’s just my opinion. It seems to be shared by many on here.

It doesn’t annoy me I just think it looks dreadful. Look at the Chat GPT image you have posted that is edited so you know it doesn’t look good.
Im sure you would feel and look so much better if you worked on losing a few stones in weight. Good luck if you decide to do that 😊

She looks enormous and anything but lovely is a pretty clear statement.

If they have said that then that is their opinion, so it’s true to them. Someone else might like how you look. If you’re happy with how you look, why does anyone else’s opinion matter?

People have different opinions. You need to accept that not everyone thinks you look great, or thinks a certain dress suits you or whatever.

You haven’t helped yourself by saying a clearly overweight model isn’t overweight and seeming to think that the ChatGPT picture is a realistic representation of you. You can not make people agree with things they know aren’t true and it’s weird to try.

If I was you, I would stop asking for opinions online because some people will be overly kind and lie, some people will be deliberately unkind and even those that tell the truth, you might not like their answers.

The model is def NOT overweight. She's completely normal. @isaidmaybeyoure I think people are talking about the picture of you in the polkadot dress. So yes, you are overweight but you know that. The model is not.

Anyway when you started to talk about showing flesh I was worried that it would be indecent. That dress is not indecent at all and it's perfect for someone with curves. I couldn't wear it because I'm close to flat. We all got body types that goes better with certain dressing styles. You will look great in that dress- ignore the haters.

OP, I really think you should step away from the thread now. You’ve done great to lose 10 stone, that’s amazing and hopefully you’ll get to a healthy weight but this thread can’t be helping you.

Are these the photos of the woman in the brown nobody’s child dress? I’m honestly shocked anyone thinks she’s overweight.

The asos model is overweight, I think you may be another who is talking about a different model.

Nobody does, read the thread. You’re looking at the complete wrong photo.

Whoa, why go there @isaidmaybeyoure that's wild

No, a different photo of a woman that is visibly overweight.

Honestly OP you sound unhinged. Id step away now.

Oh so it’s fine for people to call me fat, say I look awful, etc etc., but I snap back and it’s not okay?

Yes and where does the ugly come in to it.
It doesn’t.

That model is overweight but shapely, albeit much less overweight than the picture OP has posted of herself but ,nonetheless overweight.

She is also young, with a beautiful face, fantastic hair, toned arms and lovely shoulders. So, the dress looks good on her. If it didn't look good on her, they wouldn't use her to sell the dress.

Despite announcing she is size 14 in some styles, the OP is not going to look anything like that model if she wears that dress and nor are most of us, myself included.

Still, it's a fact that slimmer women, even if they have a face like a bad tempered and snappy bulldog, will look better in most dresses- than those who are very overweight.

Body positivity is great-wear whatever makes you feel good and enjoy wearing it- but it does have have to be tempered with realism, not to mention health concerns.

By the way OP, stop calling posters nasty bitches, rude cows etc. If you don't want opinions then don't ask for them.

This is a really good summation.

If you've lost 10 stone that's amazing. WLI I would guess? If so, we all know rapid loss can leave you with lots of loose skin, especially on arms & back. I understand you're excited about wearing a smaller size, but why not try some dresses with short/ elbow length/ floaty sleeves before you decide? There's lots in the sales. In fact, my son's gf got a gorgeous spotty one from Nobody's Child with puffed sleeves.