Being told that as a size 18 I can’t wear certain clothes

[isaidmaybeyoure]

I do appreciate that when posting canvassing for opinions on outfits etc., you will get all sorts of responses.

But I have been told a few times now that as a size 18, I should cover up and not expose too much skin, basically purely because of my size.

AIBU to think this isn’t okay? I have as much a right to get my shoulders out as any other size!

She asked if size 18s can wear certain clothes

But why did overweight need mentioning in the first place?

OP simply asked about the dresses.

No she did not.

But shes not a healthy weight. I know because I have eyes, and I can read. Shes in a size 18. You can't be a size 18 and be a healthy weight. She also is visibly overweight in several pics and quite considerably so. I also think she looks gorgeous. Im not sure what you aren't getting OP. Do you think you have some level of body dysmorphia or something because its getting a bit odd your insistance that this woman is a healthy weight.

I definitely think you should wear the dress, you have a particularly nice decolletage, if I may say so.

I don't know but that's a separate issue to the OP thinking a woman cannot be overweight and gorgeous.

Or those shorts with your bum hanging out, I don’t care if you’re a size 8 or 18 just no thank you!

Not on her original thread that this is about. She posted two dresses and asked if either of them were suitable for a wedding. It was people responding who said OP shouldn't wear them because she's a size 18

But people were saying the dress was inappropriate because it didn't cover up the body enough. That is saying no-one wants to see it.

How is that different from asking a gaunt, wrinkly woman to wear a bag on her head?

Lovely dress and model.

Ok not everyone who is size 18 will also be young, pretty and tall but it gives you more idea how someone will look in a dress designed for larger sizes than someone who is a size 8 wearing that style. Good to have models in different sizes.

Are you looking at a different picture to the rest of us? The model in the brown halterneck? I really can't see how she'd be labelled as obese!

I think they are looking at the lady in the very colourful dress (Asos i think).

I don't know why you're asking me all these questions.

The point I'm making is that the OP strongly seems to think a woman cannot be overweight and gorgeous.

I really like that brown dress. I’m not a fan of halter necks usually (just for me, just not my cup of tea) but it suits this dress perfectly. And I love the swish on the skirt.

Sod everyone else. The only thing that matters is that you feel comfortable and happy in it. Do you remember when Margo Robbie had her child and really unfortunate looking men in their 50s and 60s were talking about how she’d let herself go? It doesn’t matter what you look like, or what size you are or how toned you are. There will always be someone who feels the need to let you know that you aren’t quite perfect enough. Or who will project their own body issues onto you. Fuck them. Their opinion is irrelevant. They are not paying you to stay a particular shape or size. And, let’s face it, size 18 is not an uncommon size.

I didn’t say that.

But it’s very clear from the context in which it’s being mentioned that the posters who are saying it think that - or they’d not bring it up negatively at all!

I think she is responding to the implication of that from posters who said if she is an 18, she should cover up.

She is meaning why should she cover up her body when it looks lovely.

That is ridiculous. The same amount of flesh is shown in a halter neck dress whether you are a size 8 or 18. You are showing your back, shoulders and arms.

A previous poster mentioned something about "dress sense". When people say that, I can't know but I suspect they mean what they would wear.

People should wear whatever they want especially if it makes them feel good / happy. The only proviso I put on that is to wear clothes that are a good fit. Too small is really uncomfortable, I can vouch for that. Too big, just feels a bit sloppy... And can you imagine turning round really quick in a halter neck dress that was way too big, you'd be topless😁

And can you imagine turning round really quick in a halter neck dress that was way too big, you'd be topless😁

Well I think now we might all have found common ground on this thread!

I’m a size 16-18 and I know what I do and don’t look good in. Anything that shows my tummy or too much thigh is a no no, and not because other people might find it unattractive but because I don’t look and feel good in them. But I have nice calves and my arms are ok!
I personally don’t show my shoulders because I have big boobs and struggle to find strapless bra options. But maybe that’s not a problem for you. If you think it looks good and you feel confident then go ahead! But if you ask for opinions and expect honest answers then you should be prepared to hear them! It’s possible to do it without being rude though.
I personally have never in my life read any fashion media saying things as black and white as ‘people over 18 should not show their shoulders’. They might say ‘if you’re self conscious about upper arms you might prefer to stick to a floaty sleeve’ or ‘we recommend this shape of dress if you don’t like your tummy but want to show off shapely legs’. And the people reading them are usually specifically looking for advice on how to dress in a way that best compliments their shape.

You've said repeatedly that 'she's not overweight, she's gorgeous' and 'she's not overweight, she's lovely'.

Do you think the two things are mutually exclusive, because that's definitely what you keep implying.

You can wear what you want if you feel comfortable and confident. Personally, I don’t think certain clothes look good on certain sizes. For example I’m a size 4 (not out of choice I am unwell) and if I wear oversized clothing or clothes that really show my shoulders I look even skinnier and people make comments. You can’t win as a woman but I just choose to wear things I feel make my body look more how I would like it to. If you’re confident with your size then this shouldn’t matter but if you’re asking will certain clothes make you look bigger then yes they will.

Whatever happened to dressing to suit your body shape (whatever that may be) ? Was on holiday last week and there was a very plus sized (probs about a size 22/ 24) wearing a thong bikini which did absolutely nothing for her .Wear a bikini if you want to but it definitely wasn't the right style for someone of less than extremely slim proportions..

Nope.

When it was pointed out on the other thread that the model is clearly overweight, the OP said no she isn't, she's gorgeous.

I have a sister who has always been slim, me not so much. She always comments on larger ladies who show some skin/flesh. She has said some really nasty things which I won’t post here about how ugly she thinks they look. I haven’t said it yet but I always want to say ‘at least they can hide their skin if they wish…..but you can’t hide your face’

This is how ChatGPT thinks I’ll look, not too bad I’d say!