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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to reflect upon my own childhood and realise how I would have perceived my own DC and ‘current’ me?

83 replies

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMn · 26/06/2026 08:35

I grew up fairly poor although I didn’t feel like I ever went without anything. I lived in a small terrace with just my mum and siblings but went to school in the ‘posh’ area. I never remember feeling poor, but it was clear that the other kids had more eg. They lived in much bigger houses (I remember thinking how posh their houses were every time I went to my friend’s houses, one even had an en suite!!), went abroad at least once a year, had both parents present and had more expensive clothes (they could afford Top Shop!!).

DH had a similar upbringing.

Me and DH were discussing last night how about how you don’t really realise how things change over time. We now live in a very mumsnet naice area, can afford multiple abroad trips per year and our children have very different lives to ours when growing up. Our house is by much bigger than my old school friend’s that I was once so impressed by and our DC go to private school (neither of us had even met anybody as a child that went to private school!). If our kids went to the schools that we did, they would probably be seen as the posh rich kids which just seems insane to us.

We still feel barely different to how we did growing up but yet our life says otherwise and we can’t really pinpoint where the change happened. We’re far from super well off, but it just seems so strange to reflect back to our childhood and realise how our lives now and our children’s lives are so different to what they once were. It made us laugh thinking about how childhood us would consider us super rich and posh (I don’t think either of us had ever even been in someone’s house that had over 3 bedrooms as a child!).

Anyone else similar?

OP posts:
Ilovemychocolate · 26/06/2026 22:11

Perturbance · 26/06/2026 20:00

Oh the Op’s kids don’t go to private school! I’d put money on it 😆

Ooooh, how do you know?!?!

JaceLancs · 26/06/2026 22:21

I was brought up on a council estate in the 1960s with poor working class parents - we lived hand to mouth - jam sandwiches and not being able to pay the coal man or have the correct school uniform are my main memories
I own my own house, earn £60k and can afford holidays, a car, to eat properly and much more

DrCoconut · 27/06/2026 00:25

Ilovemychocolate · 26/06/2026 18:36

How would you like them to help you?

I don't particularly need them to but it would be sad if some of the nasty comments you see about people on universal credit, sickness and disability benefits etc came from people who have been there themselves and forgotten what it's like to be struggling with everyone looking down on you.

Ilovemychocolate · 27/06/2026 00:34

DrCoconut · 27/06/2026 00:25

I don't particularly need them to but it would be sad if some of the nasty comments you see about people on universal credit, sickness and disability benefits etc came from people who have been there themselves and forgotten what it's like to be struggling with everyone looking down on you.

OP has not even come close to saying any of those things though?
People can completely change their life circumstances, and still remember their roots.
I think this says more about you than her.

Zapx · 27/06/2026 00:49

I don’t really see how you can think you’re far from “super well off” with a big house, DC in private education, and multiple trips abroad per year. Surely that pretty much is very well off?!

HippeePrincess · 27/06/2026 15:38

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMn · 26/06/2026 10:37

It’s not ‘of the times’. I’m 34. I grew up on a council estate in a single parent household, with a parent on benefits for the majority of my childhood.

And I’m 38, you’re describing a typical 90’s childhood really from my experience. It was rarer to be in a single parent family, I was in one along with 2 others in my class in year 3/4 at school but by secondary it was quite common place. No one I knew was going on regular abroad holidays, if someone had been away on a plane it was a big deal. Hardly any had big houses, and I think those that did had slightly older parents/had some inheritance. I didn’t go on holiday with my mother at all until I was a teenager, and was lucky to have the odd break with my dad and grandparents, haven caravan type places. Sorry but you do seem to sound quite out of touch. We are currently not “poor” but we haven’t had a holiday some years, last year was 4 nights in the UK, we’ve not had a full week away for about 4/5 years and we’ve booked one this year, it’s extortionate. £1200 for a caravan in the UK. If you’re poor you can’t afford even this. Haven’t taken my children abroad for 9 years.

howshouldibehave · 27/06/2026 16:37

Perturbance · 26/06/2026 20:00

Oh the Op’s kids don’t go to private school! I’d put money on it 😆

What do you mean? Are you suggesting their post is a lie?

Toetip · 27/06/2026 19:39

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