AIBU to reflect upon my own childhood and realise how I would have perceived my own DC and ‘current’ me?

[HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMn]

I grew up fairly poor although I didn’t feel like I ever went without anything. I lived in a small terrace with just my mum and siblings but went to school in the ‘posh’ area. I never remember feeling poor, but it was clear that the other kids had more eg. They lived in much bigger houses (I remember thinking how posh their houses were every time I went to my friend’s houses, one even had an en suite!!), went abroad at least once a year, had both parents present and had more expensive clothes (they could afford Top Shop!!).

DH had a similar upbringing.

Me and DH were discussing last night how about how you don’t really realise how things change over time. We now live in a very mumsnet naice area, can afford multiple abroad trips per year and our children have very different lives to ours when growing up. Our house is by much bigger than my old school friend’s that I was once so impressed by and our DC go to private school (neither of us had even met anybody as a child that went to private school!). If our kids went to the schools that we did, they would probably be seen as the posh rich kids which just seems insane to us.

We still feel barely different to how we did growing up but yet our life says otherwise and we can’t really pinpoint where the change happened. We’re far from super well off, but it just seems so strange to reflect back to our childhood and realise how our lives now and our children’s lives are so different to what they once were. It made us laugh thinking about how childhood us would consider us super rich and posh (I don’t think either of us had ever even been in someone’s house that had over 3 bedrooms as a child!).

Anyone else similar?

Finances aside, what was your childhood like?

Yes, grew up poor, also sent my dd to private school.
DD is wonderful, but will never know the struggle of going to bed hungry, or thinking sugar on toast is a massive treat!
She had a gap year before uni, travelled across much of Asia by herself, which I contributed £10k to.
We went to Skegness on holiday as children 😁

Be prepared for a MASSIVE bashing btw, Mumsnet hates these kind of posts 😳

Really? Never seen a bashing from posters about someone who grew up pretty poor and now is not poor

Great! I had a lovely childhood. My own DC do too. We say that our own DC have part middle class childhood (they have flown long haul, flew business class, been to destinations we could only have dreamt of) but also the childhood that we had too (caravan holidays, camping etc). It’s nice they get to experience both ends of the spectrum and they probably enjoy the camping more than the long haul trips!

Yeah me.

dc went to private school, went abroad etc.

i went abroad for the first time at 21, caravan holidays in wales was my family holidays

i can pinpoint it though because I went to Cambridge and got a good job from there

I grew up very privileged
and my children live very privileged lives
that’s the normal pattern so you have bucked the trend op

Me too! I remember thinking how posh the kids were that were planning gap years. My gap year consisted of working to save up enough money to go to university!

It’s not a humble brag post. I had a lovely childhood. It’s just reflecting on how much I would have considered super luxurious and ‘posh’ as a child, I now have. I’m not posh at all but childhood me would have presumed this. I would have never even met anybody with a salary of above £40k ish and I would have considered this super rich.

Yes I went abroad three times under the age of 18, with all times being to Spain. We did lots of caravan holidays in Skegness, Wales and Norfolk!

Grew up living a sort of "The Good Life" lifestyle, as does my family now. We were probably 'poor' by today's standards, but my parents disguised it as a lifestyle / ideological choice. As do I.

Historically, each generation enjoys better standards of living compared with their parents. Of course there are exceptions to that, but your experience OP is a pretty usual one. Britons today have more disposable wealth, better standard of living, consumer goods etc compared with 20, 30, 40 years ago. So OP I think many look back and think how different our childhoods are, and what we take for granted now would seem incredible to our childhood self.

HOWEVER, that is starting to change and of course this is a huge and current political issue: the gradual improvements in living standards that as a society we take for granted is, evidence suggests, starting to slow down. Our children’s generation may well be worse off than us. You just have to look at rates of home ownership and affordability to see that.

But you were surrounded by affluent friends and lived in an affluent area… so presumably you knew loads of people earning well

Is that not the point of your post? That you were surrounded by affluence?

I saw it as a ‘posh’ area, but it wasn’t really. It just wasn’t a council estate and people owned their own homes - mostly 3 bed semis. As a child I thought they were all earning well, but the reality of it is that they were all on probably £30k ish a year (which seemed insane to me back then) or a Dad earning £50k and a stay at home mum.

this is in the early 2010’s/late 00s, so not too long ago.

They lived in much bigger houses (I remember thinking how posh their houses were every time I went to my friend’s houses, one even had an en suite!!), went abroad at least once a year, had both parents present and had more expensive clothes

ok so I thought your point was you grew up surrounded by affluence but actually it wasn’t ? But you were just poorer?

I was dragged up on a sink estate and we were poor even by the estates standards (single alcoholic mother).

I’m comfortable now and my DCs had a similar upbringing to what you describe for your own. I feel very rich in comparison, but my DCs take it for granted. It does grate on me somewhat when they’re banging on about how much harder life is for them when they’ve been all over the world and bought their own homes in their early 20s. They have had extravagant childhoods and I sometimes have to bite my tongue when they’re lecturing me about how much tougher it is for them. I never once had a holiday as a child, and used to steal soap from the school toilets so I could get a wash and wash my uniform!

I think I get it @HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMn, you and DH don’t feel any different as people but younger you wouldn’t recognise you/the lifestyle and opportunities you and your family now have but the lifestyle feels ‘normal’ not ‘posh’?

Exactly this. We feel no different to how we did back then. But when you look at our lifestyle, young me would have thought I was soooooo rich and posh (and I’m really not!). I remember the things that I thought were ‘posh’ and laugh now, as they really weren’t. It makes me feel a lot of tenderness and nostalgia for my childhood self.

Well done you, but you do sound super well off to me and probably a huge amount of other people, even if you don’t think it yourself

Most people would regard sending children to private school as “rich and posh” irrespective of their childhood.

I certainly feel rich to do this and I grew up privileged

At least you appreciate your privilege unlike some of the whinging fuckers on mumsnet struggling with £150k a year and kids at private school.

What you’re saying actually is that you’ve learnt to take for granted the things you have now - space, money, luxuries. Young you wasn’t naive to think that people with those things are rich. The version of you that exists now probably just knows a lot of people even better off than your current level of wealth, and that’s given you the false perspective that what you have isn’t a lot. It is.

You’d do better really to remember how lucky you are now - for your own happiness and for perspective on society generally. Look up average wages etc, you’ll find you’re in one of the top centiles.

Yes and think about those poor kids who are still stealing soap from school to wash their clothes and be glad that you ensured your kids didn’t have to do the same.

Hmmmm, to some extent, yes. But I feel like we exist in a bit of a strange middle-land of being able to afford these nice luxuries, but also thinking nothing of taking the kids camping in wales, a day in Brean or celebrating Christmas in the exact way we did as kids etc.