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To find my elderly relative’s attitude to money very wearing

326 replies

definitelybothered · 15/06/2026 09:17

I help an elderly relative (late 80s) with various admin tasks, paying bills, ordering shopping, etc. It can be time consuming but she is virtually blind and can no longer do this herself.

But I find it really hard to bite my tongue as she is constantly complaining that she doesn’t have enough money, can’t afford to put the heating on in the winter and is one of those people who says young people today have more money than she ever did but they spend it all on holidays, coffee and concerts etc. She honestly believes it was harder financially in her day and young people today are just spoilt.

When I try and disagree with her she shouts me down. But what really irritates is she pleads poverty but it’s rubbish, she has an income of £4.5k every month (after tax) and barely spends a grand of it. She has an eye watering amount in savings too. Her latest grumble is she doesn’t think she should be in the higher tax band (she’s just been taxed 40% on something) but I said she must be based on the maths but she won’t listen.

OP posts:
Gall10 · Yesterday 22:46

saraclara · Yesterday 15:36

Yep. I had to deal with my late mum's finances for probate. I was surprised to find that her state pension was significantly lower than mine. I think it was in the £600s to my £885. She was born in 1933. And she worked for most of her life, so would have paid NI throughout.

Exactly! £1.5k a month is only to be dreamed about!

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