AIBU to be fed up with my five-year-old needing toilet company at home?

[CheeseCracker]

I have a 5 year old DS. For a context we are living in a small 2 bedroom flat. No upstairs no downstairs. The last couple of months he has started to ask me to go with him to the toilet. Not even physically just outside the door. First I thought nothing of it,kids being kids but now it’s getting kinda annoying already. The bathroom is literally an arms reach away. If I sit on the sofa I can see the door but he’s refusing to go alone. Even if I’m in the living room or kitchen and literally see him, I have to physically stand outside. There is always light in the hallway, I’ve talked to him and explained again and again that I’m here, just here, I can see you, I’m looking at you but he’s actually screaming and shouting that I need to go with him. No amount of talking and praising him works. And it’s starting to get in my nerves.
He’s NT if that changes something, he’s perfectly fine with toilets at school and anywhere outside. Sometimes if we are are the coffee shop for example he would tell me that he’s gonna go for the wee alone and I can stay here. I never do that of course but he has no problem going into the toilet alone and me waiting outside, but at home he’s literally shouting for me to stand in an exact spot all day. I would understand that if we had a big house and toilet would be far away/upstairs but it’s literally a metre away from where I am.
Is it just kids being kids? What to tell him? Because no amount of talking and explaining is working.

Just realised I’ve said the same as a lot of people.‘I need to read the full thread before commenting (before someone else tells me to 😂)

My 5 year old has needed company for the toilet his whole life. He gets frightened that there might be monsters in the toilet. It used to drive me absolutely nuts, until he started saying "I'm going to the toilet, i don't need you" and I was thinking "yes you do need me, don't go growing up so quickly!" It passes, and I kind of miss it!

Ooo flashback! Both my DC went through a weird phase of being scared to go to the toilet alone. Bathrooms are echoey places, and 5 year olds aren't exactly logical creatures.

It will pass. Quite suddenly with no explanation in my experience.

He's only 5 🙄, literally just out of babyhood.

I have memories of being afraid of the toilet flushing when I was little, probably around that age. How it sounded like toilet monsters As I has a little sister my mum couldn't come with me and I used to not flush or if I had to I'd run out as fast as I could.
I didn't stay frightened of the flush forever. Annoying as it is is go with your little one. If you can find out what the problem is maybe you can do something about it.
My daughter has a little dog who follows everyone to the toilet and stays with you while you are in there, I'd recommend such a doggie for anyone who feels lonely going to the loo. I guess the dogs reasoning is that you look after him when you go for a walk and he needs a poo so it's only fair that he does the same .for you

Is he scared or is it an attention thing? If he is scared, then you need to get to the bottom of it. But if it's attention seeking behaviour, I wouldn't pander to it. There are surely more positive ways to get your attention.

Just go with him, it’s not a big deal. My 6yo went through phases when he was 5 that he wouldn’t stay in a room on his own, not even his bedroom, no matter day or night, he always had to be in a room with me. It lasted couple of months. He was just scared but he couldn’t say why.

I get the 5 is young but we had to nip this in the bud because he wanted company and to be entertained. We'd read book after book and sometimes he'd not poo. Now we say if he starts pooing we will read a book. But that's only his dad. I am mean and don't entertain on the potty.

He's only 5 so seemingly irrational fears are completely normal for his age. "It's not safe to go without Mum in a cafe" can easily become confused with "it's not safe to go without Mum whenever she's with me" in a child's mind. His instincts are very much wrapped up in understanding the world by following your lead and he may not have twigged that safety rules can vary according to location. You could try emphasising that home is his safe space and has different 'rules' from the outside world. And maybe model it physically by playing hide and seek as a "game that we play when we get home" to help him understand the distinction and establish some positive associations with being out of sight at home?

Tread carefully, my 8 year old son has such a toilet fear he just soils himself. He is autistic though but it might just be worth carrying on going to the toilet with your son and wait for him to grow out of it

When we were sleep training my then toddler we had a cushion that we put right by the bed and sat on until she fell asleep and then every few nights we moved it literally an inch away from where it was previously. It took quite a while but eventually we were on the landing, then the stairs, then the downstairs hall, then the living room. I wonder if you could use the same technique here?

Mine stopped doing this at 6.
I didn’t mind going with them until they stopped asking. But each to their own.

Baby tell him you’ll put him in nappies for now until he’s ready to go by himself

Sunday surfing - why would you want to be so nasty to a young child !

Abusive?

I just asked my 6-year old again why he’s scared to go to the bathroom (eg scared of toilet flush/ spiders in the bath/ shadows on the mirror, etc).

He said there’s two reasons:
he doesn’t like be alone
he’s afraid a bad man will be upstairs and will kidnap him. He said they could have a ladder and take him away down the ladder.

So I’ll go with him while he needs it.