AIBU to be fed up with my five-year-old needing toilet company at home?

[CheeseCracker]

I have a 5 year old DS. For a context we are living in a small 2 bedroom flat. No upstairs no downstairs. The last couple of months he has started to ask me to go with him to the toilet. Not even physically just outside the door. First I thought nothing of it,kids being kids but now it’s getting kinda annoying already. The bathroom is literally an arms reach away. If I sit on the sofa I can see the door but he’s refusing to go alone. Even if I’m in the living room or kitchen and literally see him, I have to physically stand outside. There is always light in the hallway, I’ve talked to him and explained again and again that I’m here, just here, I can see you, I’m looking at you but he’s actually screaming and shouting that I need to go with him. No amount of talking and praising him works. And it’s starting to get in my nerves.
He’s NT if that changes something, he’s perfectly fine with toilets at school and anywhere outside. Sometimes if we are are the coffee shop for example he would tell me that he’s gonna go for the wee alone and I can stay here. I never do that of course but he has no problem going into the toilet alone and me waiting outside, but at home he’s literally shouting for me to stand in an exact spot all day. I would understand that if we had a big house and toilet would be far away/upstairs but it’s literally a metre away from where I am.
Is it just kids being kids? What to tell him? Because no amount of talking and explaining is working.

He’s 5. Tell him no?

I'd be just saying no too.

He’s 5. What is going on in his head might not to logical to an adult, but this is important to him right now, for whatever reason. Just do it, it’s such a little thing, minutes out of your day.

Just do it, it’s a phase and won’t be long. You will give him some comfort and peace of mind.

Can he articulate exactly what he's scared of? DS2 was the same, although i only had to sit at the top of the stairs so we could talk about bunnies. Years later he told me he was scared of the mirror over the sink (which is opposite the toilet) but he didnt know why, or realise at the time thay the mirror was the problem. If he had I could have taken it down!

If he is scared or upset about something be kind & just support him. Kids go through phases and it’s harder for some than others. At 5 it never occurred to me that my dc (diagnosed autistic at 12) wasn’t NT.

now I look back & see lots of clues that I never knew were anything at the time.

is it really so hard to sit with him?

Just do it it's not exactly a taxing request is it. A bit of patience and less selfishness would be a good idea.

He’s only 5 and he’s obviously scared about something, just put up with it for now he will grow out of it

Hes scared of something talk to him and see if he tells you. One of my kids got locked in a toilet once and she wouldn't go to the toilet herself for months but it did pass

He’s scared, there doesn’t have to be a reason. When I was little I was terrified of going to the toilet in my own home I would give myself UTIs from holding my self until my Dad was home. He was my safe space as a child. I had no problem going in other places. If he’s still doing it at 10yo then I’d worry.

They get funny fears. Is their a window in your bathroom? Maybe it's dark?
DS1 is very silly about spiders. He is also scared to go upstairs alone in the evening, but daytime is fine. He's 12 and getting better but for a long time we had to go upstairs with him every time.

He's having some 121 sessions at school now to work through his worries

He's 5. Just do it for him.

He is just 5 so I would do it. It’s a few minutes here and there.

My 6-year old is the same, except our bathroom is upstairs. He’s scared to go upstairs alone, day or night, so always asks me to go up to the bathroom with him. If I say No (because I’m busy), he’ll say “oh, I’ll just hold it then”. I don’t want that, so always end up going or sometimes his sibling with go with him.
When I ask what he is scared of, he says he just doesn’t like being alone.
I joke with him I’ll still be doing it when he’s 18!

It won't last forever. Unless there's some huge drip feed of toilet trips taking 20 minutes, just go with him?

I’d just sit with him even if it annoyed me.

Kids are annoying, that’s part of parenting.

This is very minor and a small amount of inconvenience for you could mean the world of difference to him.

Something has probably scared him.

Either go with him or get a potty so he can go in the room you are in until the phase passes.

Honestly? You’re his mother and he needs you. For whatever reason. Even if it doesn’t make sense. Be there for him.

The day will come when he stops asking for you.

He's a baby! 5 is so little.

He's stuck being afraid of something and afraid you don't want want to stand by the door to help.

Oh poor boy. He’s so little and he’s asking you for help.

The last thing you want is for him to have accidents or to get toileting issues from holding it,

just be there for him and he will grow out of it.

He’s 5
He want’s his mum
he won’t be 5 forever.
such a small part of your day is taken up with his request. Just do it.

its his imagination
dd was scared of captain hook

That is so cute. I used to do the same - he isn’t little long.

Agree to his request.
Things you could try.
Select two toys and, before going together to the toilet, ask DS5 which toy can also wait outside near his toilet.
After a few days, suggest that his chosen toy is ready to wait for him by themselves.
Over time DS5 could become comfortable to choose a toy to take with him to sit outside the door.
Praise him for leaving you to make the dinner etc.
It is a passing phase.

My son used to do this. We live in a bungalow so on the same level. Toilet isnt far from the living room. I just did it because I felt he was scared for some reason. He is 10 now and hasn't asked me for a few years now. They grow out of it and their brains become more logical.
For the people saying just tell him no, there is something in his brain that is properly making him feel unsettled or scared. I feel its a bit harsh.