Right, I know this is terrible.

[Devilsspeckywhore]

But I'm due for a Xmas Eve dinner with my MIL in a couple hours. She is an excellent cook. The thing is, I don't see her washing her hands before she prepares food. I know it's not the end of the world but her food has made me sick in the past and I just can't handle this. What am I meant to do. I can't back out at this point. It was agreed we would be getting a takeaway. I think I'm going to embarrass myself pushing the food about and not eating it. She is always trying to feed me and I don't know how to bring this up !

I guess that's what I'll be telling myself

I sincerely hope she doesn't really poison everyone. Even if you survive the rest of them might not!

I haven't ever got FP from someone's house before so I guess I'm not as bothered. I wouldn't really check if the host was washing their hands or not tbh.

Anyway I hope you can manage to enjoy yourself. Fill up on Bailey's and mince pies? 🤣

Same for me. I’m the bastard that has done a food hygiene course through work. No one else cared 😩

Offer to help with dishing up. If the food is coming out of a long period in a hot oven or in boiling water, the germs won't have a chance.

I don't get it. Just because you don't see her wash her hands does not mean she does not.

And think about it. It is really difficult to cook a meal without washing your hands. Certainly in a domestic kitchen where all ingredients are being prepped. Washing the veg also washes your hands, to an extent.

I would think a takeaway kitchen would present more chances for contamination, given division of labour. And that's why commercial cooks have rules.

I would have thought hand washing would be the least issue in a domestic environment.

Is it handwashing that worries you OP, or the general hygiene ?

But you still don’t know that the chef washed their hands. You don’t know it. But you trust it.

Translate that comfort to your MIL - it’s the same. She washed her hands and you don’t know about it.

That's a good shout it's just I've seen her cough into her hands then pick up vegetables and start slicing

This is almost certainly not an issue with her cooking hygiene - it is almost certainly your own anxiety. You need to find a way to manage it. It’s super super rare that not washing hands in a family home actually leads to illness (to be clear I do wash my hands but I would never think to worry if another person hadn’t).

I could talk about that but I feel enough as a bitch as it is , so I won't

Ok, you must know that that's not normal behaviour? Just because you don't see her do it doesn't mean her hands are coated in vomit inducing grime.

She doesn't do it. She doesn't wash her hands.

Can you say its not quite warm enough, maybe have to make an "urgent phone call' when its served, and nuke it in the microwave? You'll be fine.

Guys I'll admit it i have germ OCD but she certainly isn't helping !

If the food has been cooked to the correct temperatures any bacteria will be killed. That's why humans dont eat raw meat.
How do you know the takeaway employee hadn't been scratching their arse or picking their nose?

When you got ill from her cooking did anyone else also get ill?

Hang on,. what? We’ve gone from ‘due at MIL to eat in a couple of hours’ to ‘just seen her cough over the veg’ in under 15 mins.

OP - are you changing the narrative to fit your anxiety because many of us have suggested she’s not unreasonable / have questioned the unknown chef’s handwashing regime?

ETA: just seen your ‘I’ve got OCD’ update. Seek help in 2026 OP and best to you.

Hahaha!

Oh come on, plenty of people have worked for takeaways and other food outlets and had lots of nightmare stories to tell.

You have absolutely no idea who's washing their hands or even who's dipping your food for a taste en route.

But you're happy with takeaway food which is usually cooked by men. And as we all know men regularly scratch their balls 😂

No in the past I seen her do that

Fair enough. So you are using the handwashing as an excuse of some sort ?

No it's just if she would just wash her hands at least the food will be definitely clean

It’s crippling for you but it’s totally unreasonable. Boiling / roasting kills the germs. Seek help op and remember, the take away chef gives less of a shit than your MIL

😂😂😂😂 the chef and staff from a takeaway near me are always at the back door smoking!!

One question (already asked): how many other people have been sick? Anyone? You've got a point. No-one? You've got a problem.

I think it would be good to try and work on this anxiety, otherwise you’re alienate your family and your MIL sounds lovely and a great cook so you’re missing out! If she had contaminated the food everyone would have been throwing up and it would have been obvious she served you something dodgy.