Right, I know this is terrible.

[Devilsspeckywhore]

But I'm due for a Xmas Eve dinner with my MIL in a couple hours. She is an excellent cook. The thing is, I don't see her washing her hands before she prepares food. I know it's not the end of the world but her food has made me sick in the past and I just can't handle this. What am I meant to do. I can't back out at this point. It was agreed we would be getting a takeaway. I think I'm going to embarrass myself pushing the food about and not eating it. She is always trying to feed me and I don't know how to bring this up !

Again, heat does NOT kill all germs! Heat resistant bacteria are the ones which cause the worst symptoms of food poisoning

I think you need to do some research! Bacteria such as staphylococcus (staph) and Bacillus cereus, produce toxins not destroyed by high cooking temperatures, amongst others

And if you go to www.totallymadeupnumbers.com
you’ll see that 67% of takeaway chefs never worm their pets too!

😧

Again, heat does NOT kill all germs! Heat resistant bacteria are the ones which cause the worst symptoms of food poisoning

Stop scaremongering on a thread started by a clearly anxious person.

Apart from bacillus cereus bacteria in rice, you will KILL BACTERIA by cooking food to 75c. If you're worried, get a thermometer.

You are so completely illogical with your reasoning here as if cooking didn't kill germs, we'd be eating raw chicken and unpasteurised milk.

Eat the cooked food which will have killed the germs and leave salad stuff etc that hasn’t been heated.

but surely you never have any idea who has/ hasn't washed their hands whenever you have food outside the home? I can honestly say I have never once considered this in my entire life, you need a doctor for your anxiety

You are not a total bitch OP but your level of worry is excessive. Unless you have reason to think MIL never washes her hands or has a stomach bug, there's no reason to expect that you will get ill from food she's prepared. There are germs all around in the air and on every surface you touch, and if things have been cooked, any germs on them will be killed anyway.

Get a grip.

Yes but those bacteria are not usually transferred to food by people not washing their hands. Most of the time this is due to food having been stored improperly at the wrong temperature or for too long.

Someone not washing their hands in the preparation phase, unless they have for example been handling raw meat and them immediately transferred this to a salad, is quite unlikely to make someone vomit.

The vast majority of harmful food bacteria are destroyed by cooking.

I can’t get over the fact that you are prepared to eat food from a take away but not food prepared by your mother. Have you ever been inside a takeaway kitchen?🙄

OP you have to stop watching and listening to what she (and others) are doing,and assume all is well. Even if you have to stick your fingers in your ears and say la la la, long enough so you don't know if the taps turned on or not. I've been you,and I've come out of the other side,after decades of OCD. It can be done. You can retrain yourself. Citalopram is a great help, but you have to put the work in too. You can learn to tell yourself "stop" and redirect yourself if you start to spiral. If I did it, so can you. My life is transformed because I chose to change.

I'm sure she does wash her hands, maybe just not as frequently as you would like.

We all have to eat a peck of dirt before we die, preferably not all in one go, but no doubt we ingest many germs every day.

I'm sure I was very 'germy' when I was a kid and youngster. Children when out of the sight of parents don't care too much. My mother was a fusspot and saw germs everywhere, I didn't.

Try not to think about it, I doubt anything she does or doesn't do will make you sick. Don't bring it up - I mean the subject - she'd probably be hurt and she means well.

Scaremongering?!?! I’m responding to someone spreading misinformation! Calm down

I have a distant “friend” (male) from uni days, so over 20 years ago.
He won’t drink water from the glasses in my home or use my cutlery. Because I don’t have a dishwasher.
This irrational notion of his that dishwashers are clean and other forms of washing up are not - plus the idea that bacteria migrate on a bbq from one meat source to another are the sorts of things that mean I can’t bear him any longer.
He happily eats in restaurants and pubs.
Ive worked in bars - sure the chemicals in the dishwasher are harsher than washing up liquid- but as a barmaid I didn’t wash my hands between serving one pint and the next - touching taps. Bottles, glasses, surfaces touched by everyone and anyone.
Its like my current job (that I do for reasons of child care) as a “midday/lunch assistant - the chefs and servers wear gloves - then pass the food to children who drool and whatnot and I (not allowed the gloves) go from child to child cutting their food and they grab me or hug me or whatever. I’d have to be in sci-if levels of PPE to prevent ordinary germs not to get passed around sometimes..

Long way of saying- same for your MIL. If she coughed and touched a door handle in her home any handwashing during cooking would t stop the germs being “there”.

It’s just overthinking OP. She probably washes before she starts rather than nonstop throughout..Do YOU wash your hands every time you cough? Even if you are driving or walking or on a train?

So your sickness is arguably psychosomatic.

Maybe she goes to the toilet beforehand and gives her hands a good wash in the bathroom? I often have a wee before cooking because I'm invariably having to run water as part of the process, and it makes me want to go.

I don't know how you'd get over this paranoia really. I'd ask your DH to 'notice' her not washing her hands, and then lie to say he had a bug the last time you came over and crossly question if they're linked. If she's anything like most MILs she'll be tripping over herself to do the right thing by her DS.

I’m 99% sure your MIL will have cleaner hands and kitchen than a takeaway chef.

Thinking back to the occasion when you were unwell after eating something she had cooked, was anyone else ill?

How do you know takeaways and restaurants are clean.....

Misinformation is stating that germs in food are not killed by cooking.

Then you need to tell her YOU have problem with OCD around food & germs. & it might help if she washed her hands more often so you can see it might calm your response down. Easy as that.

You're not a "total bitch" but your anxiety is controlling your behaviour around this issue. It's extremely unlikely that her failure to wash her hands made you ill, or will make you ill. Perhaps after all this Christmas carry-on is over you could see someone about your anxiety.

I'd feel far more concerned about the hygiene standards employed from food prep through to delivery of a takeaway.

Thought it was familiar

Proof that you're the problem, not your MIL.

As an aside, your repeated use of the word 'bitch' is horrible. I say that as someone who isn't averse to swearing.

Quite.

Toxins may be produced before the bacteria are killed by cooking and by bacteria which fall on food after cooking. Toxins cannot be killed as they were never alive; the important thing is to keep bacteria as inactive as possible as much as possible to prevent toxin production.

This is why many foods are best cooked quickly and, if they are then cooled, cooled quickly and stored very carefully if they are to be eaten some time after cooking.

Normal hygiene/cooking standards seem to do this adequately. Food poisoning is comparatively rare in normal domestic settings.

That’s because you are ….. honestly get a grip and be nice (and before anyone says I’ve not been nice, I know, but OP is being rediculous )