This....
I would deffo challenge her though...
If it were me... I just couldn't NOT challenge her... (and I'm as scaredy cat of conflict as they come!)
This doesn't sound like you've been subbing her the odd cup of tea;
It's been drinks /meals and all the other stuff you've funded on the basis of her being 'skint' ..
It sounds as if it's once a month and drinks /coffees... Easily what? £100 plus a month...?? 😱😱
Ask yourself if you had a spare 100£ monthly would you have chosen to give it to her??
Further, It's been chronic... a LOT of money over the years.... As others have pointed out you've been subsidising her massively... And EFFECTIVELY PAYING OFF HER MORTGAGE EARLY!
I'd be appalled!
" Dear userfriend...
I was more than surprised/astounded when you told me that you were clearing over £5k monthly... This is more than DH and I combined!!
You've consistently pleaded poverty over years and you've accepted LOTS of pub/restaurant visits on us... At least x a month for x time...
This has meant we've been greatly subsidising your lifestyle (overpaying your mortage).... I find this jaw dropping /appalling...
I feel really put out(bloody annoyed) out that you've misled us(conned us) this way... If we'd had a SPARE £100 monthly, we wouldn't chose to give it to a friend earning so much more than us.
Now depending whether you want to preserve the friendship... I'd suggest she pay for you for next 6 months/for infinity..
If she baulks at this... I'd dump her..