Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

£5,200 a month in this situation…

103 replies

IneVan · 13/12/2025 20:53

Is absolutely on any analysis at all, NOT a problem.

Single parent, 3 year old who has 30 hours free now.

Am I losing it or is this MORE than ample to live off and live off pretty nicely??!

OP posts:
Oldandgreyer · 13/12/2025 21:19

IneVan · 13/12/2025 21:11

@Run30 i don’t know her mortgage repayments but she’s aiming to have it cleared by 45 (currently 39)

She might,. You're helping.

roshi42 · 13/12/2025 21:23

I would remember that she’ll be paying close to a grand a month more in tax than you both combined for that household income because it’s on only one salary and is in the higher tax band. And she won’t qualify for child benefit.

My child gets 30 hours ‘free’ but a full time nursery place including that is still £1,200 a month. Mortgage about the same. You can see how a decent salary disappears quite quickly.

But yeah… that’s not a poverty wage, for sure! It might feel tight-ish during the nursery years -especially if she’s putting a lot into paying off her mortgage and potentially pension - but she’ll be really pretty well off once the child’s at school - especially if she really does pay off the mortgage!! She’d be genuinely quite rich then!

chickenfucker · 13/12/2025 21:30

Depends how much her mortgage is and if she's paying for childcare too she may not have much left over.

godmum56 · 13/12/2025 21:31

IneVan · 13/12/2025 21:05

@readingisallowed well it’s too late. Been doing it for the last 3 years. She’s not so much as given me a gift on my birthday or Christmas, she actually has said she can’t afford it being on her own with the DD. I can’t get over the cheek of it.

Show quote history

Its not too late to stop.

Happyjoe · 13/12/2025 21:32

gruffaloaddict · 13/12/2025 21:12

Too many unknowns to judge. For me, I’d be laughing with that wage!!! And can only dream! For my friend, her mortgage alone is £3000, her nursery fees (with the funded hours) are around £1000, so she would likely struggle.

But someone on £5k a month wouldn't have a £3k mortgage surely?

Dorisbonson · 13/12/2025 21:40

If you are claiming for a family on benefits then I have seen over £7000 in the past. It's life. UK is dead anyone

PigletJohn · 13/12/2025 21:47

You say that's take-home pay, so it's after tax and probably pension contributions.

A person in the top 10% of income earners has no right to complain about being hard up. They might moan that they have no money left because they spent it all, but that's not the same thing.

£5,200 a month in this situation…
PinkyFlamingo · 13/12/2025 21:49

IneVan · 13/12/2025 21:01

@BeenThereBackThen it’s after tax.

@SaltyCara its my ‘friend.’ I had no idea she earned so much and has always pleaded poverty, so much so that DH and I have bought every drink, lunch, dinner (and I see her once a month at least!). Me and DH combined take home 4700 and have two dc (not in nursery but they still cost us for wraparound etc!)

Well to be honest you're a mug then.

gruffaloaddict · 13/12/2025 21:51

Happyjoe · 13/12/2025 21:32

But someone on £5k a month wouldn't have a £3k mortgage surely?

Show quote history

She does. I think maybe she’s paying a higher rate in the interim - partner left last year, unsure whether she’s bought him out or left the mortgage running until the fixed rate ends, I know a couple of others who did this in the short-term. Either way, there are also people paying £1200+ per month in rent on £2000pcm incomes (I was one of these before I bought!). It’s all relative.

BMW6 · 13/12/2025 21:52

You've been had.

ComfortFoodCafe · 13/12/2025 21:53

She’s had you. I wouldn’t pay a penny more towards this woman, you’ve effectively helped her pay her mortgage off!

FuzzyWolf · 13/12/2025 21:56

If she plans to clear her mortgage within the next five years then she is probably paying a greater percentage of her income on it, which means less disposable income so she probably does feel she doesn’t have any spare money.

It all comes down to different priorities and what people want to allocate their money to. Yes, she could pay her mortgage off over a longer period of time but it’s her choice not to do so.

Delphiniumandlupins · 13/12/2025 21:57

She may be someone who budgets for every penny so feels 'skint' because she doesn't have much free money. Either stop going out so often, choose cheaper options or ask her to pay her way. Currently, you are helping to pay off her mortgage early (and probably boosting her pension, early retirement, child going to uni without debt and receiving a nice house deposit).

hididdlyho · 13/12/2025 21:58

She sounds like a freeloader tbh. A birthday present doesn't need to be expensive. The fact she's let you pay for dinner and not so much as bought you a bottle of wine or bunch of flowers for your birthday, suggests she's not a good friend

MidnightPatrol · 13/12/2025 22:12

What did you think she did for a living / what does she actually do?

Seems amazing you could think she was barely making ends meet… for her to actually be having a ~95k a year job without you realising!

Gamechanger2019 · 13/12/2025 22:12

Not sure how she could get 30hrs free childcare on that take home, she’s got to be on over £100k so will only get the 15hrs

SP2024 · 13/12/2025 22:21

I mean, it depends really on where she lives and what type of house. My mortgage is about £2600 per month. Nursery fees for my 3 yo (with the free hours) is £1100 per months so add bills, food and transport I would think there wasn’t much over if I was relying just on one income. Also if she wants to pay off mortgage in next 6 years I suspect significant overpayments are being made.

IstillloveKingThistle · 13/12/2025 22:26

IneVan · 13/12/2025 21:04

@Pavementworrier she works but has always pleaded poverty

She is either up to her eyeballs in debt or squeaky arse tight.
One of the two 🤷‍♀️

TheMateofOphelia · 13/12/2025 22:30

Stop buying her drinks, sure.

Not sure why posters are wanging on about benefits.

user1473878824 · 13/12/2025 22:53

IneVan · 13/12/2025 21:01

@BeenThereBackThen it’s after tax.

@SaltyCara its my ‘friend.’ I had no idea she earned so much and has always pleaded poverty, so much so that DH and I have bought every drink, lunch, dinner (and I see her once a month at least!). Me and DH combined take home 4700 and have two dc (not in nursery but they still cost us for wraparound etc!)

Oh WOW!!!!! Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

Whywhywhyyyy · 13/12/2025 23:10

Yeah I know someone like this. To the point they once made another reorganise their birthday party to go somewhere a few £ cheaper but way less nice.

Then I invited them out somewhere as a guest as have a membership. Turns out they have 6 BTL houses. I was like wtf! No mate.

After that friendship dead. I cannot abide that type of behaviour.

Winterwonderwhy · 13/12/2025 23:12

MidnightPatrol · 13/12/2025 22:12

What did you think she did for a living / what does she actually do?

Seems amazing you could think she was barely making ends meet… for her to actually be having a ~95k a year job without you realising!

This. I thought the same. Clearly you can guess based on someone’s job?

Legolava · 13/12/2025 23:27

I don’t think she needs a friend like you to be honest.

Xmasbaby11 · 13/12/2025 23:32

Yes, of course that's comfortable. It's a very high salary.

UnemployedNotRetired · 13/12/2025 23:39

... and what about any child maintenance she may be getting?