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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Been scammed by a cake maker?

84 replies

Samelly · 11/12/2025 22:07

Have used this lady multiple times no problem, really great cake maker, reliable etc. Our youngest kids are friends from school, sometime socialise outside of school

Ordered a cake for December 10th, sent money via bank transfer, messaged the day before to arrange a collection time, no reply. Messaged again the morning of, received a reply at 1pm saying she got her dates mixed up she thought it was for the 12th and offered a refund straight away. I was annoyed but messaged saying these things happen.
Asked if she needed bank details, no reply, messaged her again today twice, no reply.
Shes since removed me as a friend on Facebook (not blocked)
Have I lost this money? Im tempted to write it off as bad experience but didn’t want to leave it on a sour note as our kids are friends.

AIBU: let it go
AINBU: message her again tomorrow, leave a bad review on her Facebook page

OP posts:

Keepoffmyartichokes · 12/12/2025 20:04

Catsbreakfast · 12/12/2025 08:46

People piping up about chargebacks: that only works on card payments, not bank transfers. FYI. If she transferred money from her account, the bank will not do anything.

That's not true. Yes you can't request a chargeback but if it is a scam it is APP (Authorised Push Payment) and banks since Oct 2024 have to refund customers if they have been a victim of APP fraud. They then claim money back from the recipient bank.

Xmascraker · 12/12/2025 20:04

@Samelly how much was the cake??!

Calliopespa · 12/12/2025 20:05

Samelly · 12/12/2025 19:30

Update: I messaged her again today, personal page and business page

“Hi (redacted), I see that you are active on messenger, I think it’s a bit unfair that you are ignoring my messages and have removed me from Facebook when I have done nothing wrong?
If you don’t/cant give me my money back for whatever reason I would appreciate at least a reply 😢 that’s just common decency, what a good person would do

this was the reply
“Apologies...I have sorted my friends list out and removed several people...it wasn't anything personal.

I need your bank details please and I will refund you.

Sorry, work has been absolutely manic as we are breaking up soon and loads of staff are off, and dealing with violent kids etc. Not ignoring you, just not get a lot of time. And I am never on Facebook messenger, so not sure why it shows that I am active.

Had to sneak out of class to reply to you, as my watch is going crazy.

Sorry, didn't mean to make you feel like I am ignoring you. But can't refund without bank details”

this was at 10.16am no refund yet

Personally I think this is an excuse, work is not a reason to be radio silent for two full days after you’ve made an error

It might be an excuse of sorts op if she maybe hasn't got the money right now.

You are right that you are entitled to a refund, but I think you have made good progress getting her to admit that. I'd give it a bit longer personally, just because you do know each other. "I know where you live" as it were! I think she will cave without you needing to to escalate, and it would create awkwardness going forward. Fingers crossed! At this point she is the one in the wrong, not you, so no need for you to feel at all awkward. Once you get really heated you might later regret it.

AngelicKaty · 12/12/2025 20:15

Samelly · 12/12/2025 19:30

Update: I messaged her again today, personal page and business page

this was the reply
“Apologies...I have sorted my friends list out and removed several people...it wasn't anything personal.

I need your bank details please and I will refund you.

Had to sneak out of class to reply to you, as my watch is going crazy.

Sorry, didn't mean to make you feel like I am ignoring you. But can't refund without bank details”

this was at 10.16am no refund yet

Personally I think this is an excuse, work is not a reason to be radio silent for two full days after you’ve made an error

Well you asked her two days ago if she needed your bank details and she didn't reply. It's only since you've been frank with her about your irritation that she's asked you for them and then hours later she still hasn't sent the refund. She may well be busy, but paying someone the money you owe them should be an absolute priority. I hate it when people who owe you money make you chase them for it - it's damn rude! She's fast moving into CF territory IMO.

AllegraGreenTriangle · 12/12/2025 20:18

It’s just taken me less than two minutes to pay the window cleaner by bank transfer . I don’t understand why you don’t have the refund if cake making woman has your bank details.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 12/12/2025 20:19

AllegraGreenTriangle · 12/12/2025 20:18

It’s just taken me less than two minutes to pay the window cleaner by bank transfer . I don’t understand why you don’t have the refund if cake making woman has your bank details.

Cheeky fuckery? 😁

Original poster

Samelly · 12/12/2025 20:20

Refund received :)

OP posts:

AllegraGreenTriangle · 12/12/2025 20:20

Mumtobabyhavoc · 12/12/2025 20:19

Cheeky fuckery? 😁

Show quote history

It’s looking that way!

JustMyView13 · 12/12/2025 20:23

Edited - removed.
Just seen your update so not a relevant reply.

AllegraGreenTriangle · 12/12/2025 20:24

JustMyView13 · 12/12/2025 20:23

Edited - removed.
Just seen your update so not a relevant reply.

Edited

Hadn’t seen update - deleted

Horses7 · 12/12/2025 20:24

Samelly · 12/12/2025 20:20

Refund received :)

Good - I’m amazed you’ve been criticised on here for trying to get you money back! Beggars belief!!

AllegraGreenTriangle · 12/12/2025 20:26

I wouldn’t use her again - Colin Caterpillar comes to mind.

Lemonysnickety · 12/12/2025 20:27

Yeah I suspect she doesn’t have the money for whatever reason and whatever is going on she wasn’t able to make the cake and now she is trying to deflect things back onto you.

Just keep the pressure on a bit because she is spinning a yarn about deleting people off Facebook.

Keep the pressure on and she will just want you to back off.

My DH ran a business for years and the amount of BS he had to put up on the other side where people tried to get out of paying for all sorts of concoctions, some real, some fictional and some just pure entitlement, he was unbelievably irritating and eventually people just wanted rid of him and it was easier just to pay what they owed. You get immune to other peoples BS eventually. Don’t take it personally.

Keroppi · 12/12/2025 20:32

Wahoo! In future as soon as she said she got her dates wrong and offered a refund you should've just stuck your bank details in the message and any further messages, to save time and effort.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 12/12/2025 20:34

TheatricalLife · 12/12/2025 19:41

I call bullshit on the "just removed a few people" line. Coincided well with not making the cake or returning the money.
My guess is she spent it, hasn't got it to return and was hoping you'd quietly piss off.
I'd not bother to respond to the that whole load of waffle beyond sending my bank details. It takes five minutes tops to log into a bank account and return money. Everyone has five bloody minutes. Oh and to add, it takes even less time to reply to a message saying I'll reply to you tonight.

Edited

It takes 5 minutes if you already have the payee set up. With my bank, if I need to set up a new payee, I need use my card reader, which is kept at home. I wouldn't be able to set up a new payee and pay then while I was at work, it would have to wait until I got home and had access to my card reader.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 12/12/2025 20:35

Good 👍 but I definitely wouldn't use her again, because it's bad form having to chase money, especially from a person who can potentially make you look like a desperate twat on SM. Embarrassing for all involved.

EsmeSusanOgg · 12/12/2025 21:11

Great news OP. I think your polite persistence helped.

Fairyladyonwheels · 12/12/2025 21:27

I definitely wouldn't use her again! She took the p*ss and i bet if I was a new customer enquiring for a cake she would reply immediately. I run a business and heard every excuse.

freakingscared · 12/12/2025 22:41

Turn up at her house and demand the money ! Then leave a bad review

TheHillIsMine · 12/12/2025 22:45

You went nuclear pretty quickly with your YABU and YANBU options. Bad review fgs. All she did was forget the date. She's working, you're wanting an instant results. Total over reaction on your part.

thestudio · 12/12/2025 23:14

TheHillIsMine · 12/12/2025 22:45

You went nuclear pretty quickly with your YABU and YANBU options. Bad review fgs. All she did was forget the date. She's working, you're wanting an instant results. Total over reaction on your part.

Forgetting the date is a MASSIVE fuck up for a celebration cake maker.

There's no such thing as a two-days-after-your-birthday-cake.

A refund doesn't really cut it tbh - and then failing to actually do the refund and going silent is just adding insult to injury.

blueumbrella2016 · 12/12/2025 23:50

Looociee · 11/12/2025 23:22

The deleting off FB is the real red flag here.

This.

How many other people has she done this too?

Doingtheboxerbeat · 13/12/2025 00:42

TheHillIsMine · 12/12/2025 22:45

You went nuclear pretty quickly with your YABU and YANBU options. Bad review fgs. All she did was forget the date. She's working, you're wanting an instant results. Total over reaction on your part.

What if it was a wedding cake or a cake for a massive party? No, no, no absolutely not .The mistake was bad enough, but then the blocking and the radio silence - you're the cake maker aren't you?

TeaRoseTallulah · 13/12/2025 00:46

DDivaStar · 11/12/2025 23:17

Send your bank details over and say you expect the money to clear by monday.

Yes, do this.

TeaRoseTallulah · 13/12/2025 00:47

Oh ignore my post 🙄

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