Been scammed by a cake maker?

[Samelly]

Have used this lady multiple times no problem, really great cake maker, reliable etc. Our youngest kids are friends from school, sometime socialise outside of school

Ordered a cake for December 10th, sent money via bank transfer, messaged the day before to arrange a collection time, no reply. Messaged again the morning of, received a reply at 1pm saying she got her dates mixed up she thought it was for the 12th and offered a refund straight away. I was annoyed but messaged saying these things happen.
Asked if she needed bank details, no reply, messaged her again today twice, no reply.
Shes since removed me as a friend on Facebook (not blocked)
Have I lost this money? Im tempted to write it off as bad experience but didn’t want to leave it on a sour note as our kids are friends.

AIBU: let it go
AINBU: message her again tomorrow, leave a bad review on her Facebook page

As you have used her successfully before and your kids are friendly I would assume something has gone awry for her.

I would call or go to her door and say you are concerned as it doesn’t seem like her, given her past good service.

I would guess she has got herself in a terrible mess, spent the money and is now panicking.

How much money is it?

People piping up about chargebacks: that only works on card payments, not bank transfers. FYI. If she transferred money from her account, the bank will not do anything.

I'd take the softly softly approach.
Message her saying
' just checking in to see all us well with you, I've lost you on fb somehow, and it's not like you not to respond to messages
Let me know if you need anything x'

That leaves the door open for her to say she's skint and will pay you back in a few days time ( which is probably the case).

Keeps communication open 🙂

Do NOT let it go! That’s exactly what she’s hoping for!
I bloody would turn up at her door, too!! And demand a refund! Cakes are expensive, there’s no was if give this cheeky cow a penny of my money for nothing. Tell her you won’t post anything online if she refunds you straight away, otherwise you’ll leave a review.

If your children are friends can you ask your child if they are aware of anything going on with the family. It does seem odd that you have used her a fair bit and know her and she has done this. Is it a proper business or does she do cake making on the side. I'm wondering if she doesn't have the money to refund you.

I had this with a mechanic. Had been super helpful, used him several times. Then suddenly, after I'd booked car in and paid for parts, he blocked me (used to collect the car, rather than me taking it to him).

After a couple of years of service. No idea why. Never got my money back. Arse.

My guess is she has spent your money getting the ingredients and is now unable to reimburse you but is too embarrassed to say so she is sticking her head in the sand until she has figured something out.

I don't think she's set out to scam you. GO to her door and ask for the money back. No need to leave a bad review on her Fb page because of a mistake. Sometimes these things happen although she does seem to have handled this badly. She might be embarrassed about whats happened.

Why has she blocked her then??

Panicked about communicating with the OP.

There was a MN poster a while ago who had done this to a friend she owed money to, out of sheer panic, until she could pay her back.

Extreme head in sand behaviour.

Some people are like that.

Definitely follow up & get the story (& the money back!). Without knowing anything about her circumstances, it sounds like she has over extended herself, assuming she made quality cakes. Ingredients & time are expensive.

Send her your bank details and ask for the money again.

If still no response, definitely do chargeback through your bank.

As she is normally reliable I would message a polite reminder offering to wait until end of the month or to keep the money for the next birthday cake on x date. This gives her a bit of breathing space if she is struggling, I would expect a refund or a cake at a later date though.

I’d give her benefit of doubt that both the mix up & the unfriending are mistakes. Maybe something massive has happened in her life. I’d give it a week then message again. If no response I’d either write off or go to her door would probably depend on my mood / how much time I had. I wouldn’t immediately jump to leaving shitty reviews.

Update: I messaged her again today, personal page and business page

“Hi (redacted), I see that you are active on messenger, I think it’s a bit unfair that you are ignoring my messages and have removed me from Facebook when I have done nothing wrong?
If you don’t/cant give me my money back for whatever reason I would appreciate at least a reply 😢 that’s just common decency, what a good person would do

this was the reply
“Apologies...I have sorted my friends list out and removed several people...it wasn't anything personal.

I need your bank details please and I will refund you.

Sorry, work has been absolutely manic as we are breaking up soon and loads of staff are off, and dealing with violent kids etc. Not ignoring you, just not get a lot of time. And I am never on Facebook messenger, so not sure why it shows that I am active.

Had to sneak out of class to reply to you, as my watch is going crazy.

Sorry, didn't mean to make you feel like I am ignoring you. But can't refund without bank details”

this was at 10.16am no refund yet

Personally I think this is an excuse, work is not a reason to be radio silent for two full days after you’ve made an error

Go there to get your money. Not at home?
Ask her to give it back at the school gate.
Not there?
Post on FB, Have tried to reach you several times, you seem to have disappeared. Please provide the refund you said you would for the cake not delivered to me.
Ignored?
Formal request by registered mail.
Ignored? Second letter advising will file small claims action.

its not a scam
has she spent your money ? Maybe
will you get it back - possibly

Sounds like she’s a bit overwhelmed if she’s previously been good. Did you reply to her message from this morning?

I call bullshit on the "just removed a few people" line. Coincided well with not making the cake or returning the money.
My guess is she spent it, hasn't got it to return and was hoping you'd quietly piss off.
I'd not bother to respond to the that whole load of waffle beyond sending my bank details. It takes five minutes tops to log into a bank account and return money. Everyone has five bloody minutes. Oh and to add, it takes even less time to reply to a message saying I'll reply to you tonight.

Until you gave the update I was beginning to wonder if she was going through a relationship breakdown, and that because things were in chaos she had overlooked making the cake, so came up with the story about the wrong date.

However, from the update this doesn't sound like the case, and she may not have got around to sorting out the bank yet, if she's working full time, got kids etc to feed when she gets home. She may well do it once she's had a chance to sit down for the evening, but if she hasn't sent you the money by tomorrow evening, I'd go round there.

So you’ve used her several times before and presumably been happy to continue purchasing cakes. She got her dates wrong, apologised, and you keep on harassing her today to the extent she has now deleted you on Facebook.

Perhaps something urgent has come up that is a greater priority and dealing with you pestering her is just too much for her.

She’s a business. It’s reasonable to expect a business to take a day or so to respond and refund.

To be fair, if she had time to read messages, feel harassed and then delete the OP she certainly has time to do a money transfer.
Cake Maker is a CF.

I didn’t harass her, I replied to her sorry message on the Wednesday straight away, then once on Thursday and then this morning? Give me my money which takes 2 minutes and I will go away

Hm. Sounds a bit odd. I wonder if she's in trouble with xmas money or something. ??

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck…

She is trying to mislead you 100 %, just depends on whether you particularly care why or whether the trust is gone and you’d like the money back immediately or are happy to give her until pay day.