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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To let this make me feel bad?

66 replies

overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 19:05

It seems like a bit of a non-event (well it is), but it’s been on my mind so I’m going to ask on here anyway.

Long story short, there’s an older man (about 50) who apparently used to give me too much attention for his wife’s liking. Nothing major, he just used to stare at me, comment on my outfits and his wife would look angry and put her arm tightly around him. I’m mid 20s.

He was just an acquaintance, someone I bumped into at the gym and in the pub. I didn’t see him for months.

This weekend, he and his wife happened to be at the same wedding reception as I was. I was with a few university friends. I was standing outside on my own for a few minutes, just checking my messages (I didn’t want to do it inside at the table as it’s quite rude imo), and I overheard this man’s wife saying, ‘oh she’s strange isn’t she, not being married at 29….wonder why she’s on her own…’, and he replied, ‘yes it is strange isn’t it? Well I hope we don’t see her tonight (he obviously could see the back of me through the window).’

Needless to say, I avoided this man all night, as anyone would. But then he tried to come over and speak to me a few times, saying, ‘oh hello , it’s nice to see you, what are you up to these days?’, but I made excuses to just quickly leave. I just thought it was weird and insincere. I basically felt uncomfortable all night and it ruined my night a bit. I wonder if other people feel this way about me, although he's probably just a weird d!ck...

OP posts:
PatThePenguin · 07/12/2025 19:08

Did they shout it through the window?

Or were they also outside?

Sorry, I'm confused.

overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 19:13

PatThePenguin · 07/12/2025 19:08

Did they shout it through the window?

Or were they also outside?

Sorry, I'm confused.

I overheard them. I was outside, they were inside but must have been able to see me through the window, but wouldn't know I could hear him.

OP posts:
PatThePenguin · 07/12/2025 19:15

But how could you hear them if you were outside the venue and they were inside?

overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 19:23

PatThePenguin · 07/12/2025 19:15

But how could you hear them if you were outside the venue and they were inside?

I could hear them. The window must not be double glazed!!

OP posts:
SilverPink · 07/12/2025 19:26

Are you sure they were talking about you? I wouldn’t give it a second thought really. People are strange, just ignore in future.

DallazMajor · 07/12/2025 19:27

Why would you care ?

FionnulaTheCooler · 07/12/2025 19:28

He sounds like a creep. I'd be delighted if he avoided me.

RessicaJabbit · 07/12/2025 19:29

I don't understand what the first bit has to do with the second bit...

How do you know they were taking about you?

RessicaJabbit · 07/12/2025 19:30

How does he or she know how old you are, that you're single etc if he's just an acquaintance...?

RessicaJabbit · 07/12/2025 19:32

And they clearly weren't talking about you

You say you're mid twenties. (23-26ish)

They were talking about a 29 year old... If you are 29 you're late twenties...

So.... Move on!

PatThePenguin · 07/12/2025 19:36

overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 19:23

I could hear them. The window must not be double glazed!!

But this was a wedding reception.

Even if it was held in a draughty church hall, you're not going to be able to hear a conversation going on inside the building, if you're outside.

Not even if everyone in there sat in complete silence 😳

RessicaJabbit · 07/12/2025 19:38

PatThePenguin · 07/12/2025 19:36

But this was a wedding reception.

Even if it was held in a draughty church hall, you're not going to be able to hear a conversation going on inside the building, if you're outside.

Not even if everyone in there sat in complete silence 😳

Yes, it's hardly the middle of summer, the doors and windows would definitely have been shut.

I can't work out how you heard their conversation so clearly through the glass... Whilst facing away from them ...

CKN · 07/12/2025 19:39

Why on earth do you assume they were talking about you?
You’re reading way to much into this - not worth overthinking about

RessicaJabbit · 07/12/2025 19:41

CKN · 07/12/2025 19:39

Why on earth do you assume they were talking about you?
You’re reading way to much into this - not worth overthinking about

They weren't taking about her, they were talking about an older woman.

CKN · 07/12/2025 19:48

RessicaJabbit · 07/12/2025 19:41

They weren't taking about her, they were talking about an older woman.

No her last sentence she wonders if anyone else feels this way about her.
More than likely they were talking about someone else but there seems to be crossed wires somewhere along the way

overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 19:55

SilverPink · 07/12/2025 19:26

Are you sure they were talking about you? I wouldn’t give it a second thought really. People are strange, just ignore in future.

Yes they said my name. Unlikely there was another "Lily" at the party!

OP posts:
overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 19:56

RessicaJabbit · 07/12/2025 19:29

I don't understand what the first bit has to do with the second bit...

How do you know they were taking about you?

They said my name. It seems unlikely there was another woman with the same name at the party. I don't have a super common name.

OP posts:
overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 19:57

RessicaJabbit · 07/12/2025 19:32

And they clearly weren't talking about you

You say you're mid twenties. (23-26ish)

They were talking about a 29 year old... If you are 29 you're late twenties...

So.... Move on!

I mistyped there. I am 29.

OP posts:
overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 19:58

RessicaJabbit · 07/12/2025 19:41

They weren't taking about her, they were talking about an older woman.

Sorry this is my fault for mistyping. I should've written late 20s, I'm 29.

OP posts:
overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 19:59

RessicaJabbit · 07/12/2025 19:30

How does he or she know how old you are, that you're single etc if he's just an acquaintance...?

They do know how old I am. He asked once when it was my birthday and I was heading out.

OP posts:
overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 19:59

RessicaJabbit · 07/12/2025 19:38

Yes, it's hardly the middle of summer, the doors and windows would definitely have been shut.

I can't work out how you heard their conversation so clearly through the glass... Whilst facing away from them ...

Edited

Well I did hear....so obviously the windows aren't very good! It wasn't in a church hall.

OP posts:
Branster · 07/12/2025 20:01

Interesting. There was a thread here a couple of months ago or so from this woman whose DH kept interacting with a younger woman at the gym. The OP was a bit in denial that her DH was s creep harassing the young woman. Maybe it was you!

RessicaJabbit · 07/12/2025 20:02

overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 19:59

Well I did hear....so obviously the windows aren't very good! It wasn't in a church hall.

At what point did they say your name?

Justlovedogs · 07/12/2025 20:03

Surely this is a case of wife putting you down and husband agreeing to prove he's not interested? I'd ignore if I were you.

EleanorReally · 07/12/2025 20:03

curious as to why they would say this