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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To let this make me feel bad?

66 replies

overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 19:05

It seems like a bit of a non-event (well it is), but it’s been on my mind so I’m going to ask on here anyway.

Long story short, there’s an older man (about 50) who apparently used to give me too much attention for his wife’s liking. Nothing major, he just used to stare at me, comment on my outfits and his wife would look angry and put her arm tightly around him. I’m mid 20s.

He was just an acquaintance, someone I bumped into at the gym and in the pub. I didn’t see him for months.

This weekend, he and his wife happened to be at the same wedding reception as I was. I was with a few university friends. I was standing outside on my own for a few minutes, just checking my messages (I didn’t want to do it inside at the table as it’s quite rude imo), and I overheard this man’s wife saying, ‘oh she’s strange isn’t she, not being married at 29….wonder why she’s on her own…’, and he replied, ‘yes it is strange isn’t it? Well I hope we don’t see her tonight (he obviously could see the back of me through the window).’

Needless to say, I avoided this man all night, as anyone would. But then he tried to come over and speak to me a few times, saying, ‘oh hello , it’s nice to see you, what are you up to these days?’, but I made excuses to just quickly leave. I just thought it was weird and insincere. I basically felt uncomfortable all night and it ruined my night a bit. I wonder if other people feel this way about me, although he's probably just a weird d!ck...

OP posts:
RessicaJabbit · 07/12/2025 20:04

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ThisLittlePony · 07/12/2025 20:12

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PatThePenguin · 07/12/2025 20:15

overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 19:59

Well I did hear....so obviously the windows aren't very good! It wasn't in a church hall.

Even those with super bionic bat ears can get things wrong occasionally, when they're standing outside a building with their back to the window I expect...

RessicaJabbit · 07/12/2025 20:27

This acquaintance knows an awful lot about you.

RessicaJabbit · 07/12/2025 20:28

If your back was to the window how do you know it was them?

I'm so confused!!!!

Branleuse · 07/12/2025 20:37

Sounds awkward. His wife clearly hates you because her husband is a creep and it's easier to blame you, and the husband lies to her to make it seem like they both don't like you, but he's fake because as soon as he got the chance, he sidled up to try and chat to you.
Gross little games. I'd have given him a disgusted look and walked away. I'd also tell the wife to tell her creepy husband to leave you the hell alone, and that you could hear them bitching about your marital status, and that they should get a fckn hobby

Branleuse · 07/12/2025 20:39

I am surprised that others are so surprised that you can hear things on the other side of windows sometimes.

What is the point in trying to be thread detective over something that is completely normal and plausible.

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 07/12/2025 20:41

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BillieWiper · 07/12/2025 20:43

It's makes a fair amount of sense though doesn't it. Awkward as it may be it's not your fault.

He showed an unrequited crush on you, wife got the hump, they moved on. Then, years later..

They saw you, and wife felt pangs of jealously flooding back and made a mean but frankly pathetic and sexist remark about you, he felt he had to join in to keep the peace.

He then wanted to make amends with you as in his sad mind he still likes you and wants you to like him.

They're just a couple of randos with a possibly unsatisfactory marriage. Just forget it and have a giggle at their expense.

PatThePenguin · 07/12/2025 21:10

Branleuse · 07/12/2025 20:39

I am surprised that others are so surprised that you can hear things on the other side of windows sometimes.

What is the point in trying to be thread detective over something that is completely normal and plausible.

How is it remotely normal or plausible that you can hear someone's normal volume conversation, over the noise of all the wedding reception guests, when you're outside the building with your back turned to it?

Even if she pressed her ear up against the glass she's unlikely to be able to hear it word for word 😳

overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 22:05

RessicaJabbit · 07/12/2025 20:02

At what point did they say your name?

Throughout the conversation.

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overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 22:06

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Haha, but seriously I could hear. The windows aren't that thick evidently.

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overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 22:08

Branleuse · 07/12/2025 20:39

I am surprised that others are so surprised that you can hear things on the other side of windows sometimes.

What is the point in trying to be thread detective over something that is completely normal and plausible.

This precisely. It isn't that unusual.

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overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 22:12

Branleuse · 07/12/2025 20:37

Sounds awkward. His wife clearly hates you because her husband is a creep and it's easier to blame you, and the husband lies to her to make it seem like they both don't like you, but he's fake because as soon as he got the chance, he sidled up to try and chat to you.
Gross little games. I'd have given him a disgusted look and walked away. I'd also tell the wife to tell her creepy husband to leave you the hell alone, and that you could hear them bitching about your marital status, and that they should get a fckn hobby

Yeah I find calling a woman "strange" for not being married or in a relationship, in 2025, so weird and old fashioned. Plus it's none of their business.

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overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 22:19

RessicaJabbit · 07/12/2025 20:27

This acquaintance knows an awful lot about you.

Yes he does, because he used to ask me lots of questions when he saw me around.

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Endofyear · 07/12/2025 22:33

They sound very odd, why do you care what they think? I'd just ignore them, don't give them any more headspace!

overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 22:59

Endofyear · 07/12/2025 22:33

They sound very odd, why do you care what they think? I'd just ignore them, don't give them any more headspace!

They do seem odd.

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RessicaJabbit · 08/12/2025 05:19

Branleuse · 07/12/2025 20:39

I am surprised that others are so surprised that you can hear things on the other side of windows sometimes.

What is the point in trying to be thread detective over something that is completely normal and plausible.

Because it's just not plausible...

MaggieBsBoat · 08/12/2025 05:24

I think he was obviously trying to reassure his wife. I’m assuming her evening was far worse than yours when she realised that you were there.
He‘s a creep who shouldn’t have tried to speak with you at all. I’m sorry OP.

Springtimehere · 08/12/2025 05:26

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MaggieBsBoat · 08/12/2025 08:06

Love a bit of misogyny in the early morning @Springtimehere !

overthinker97 · 08/12/2025 19:08

RessicaJabbit · 08/12/2025 05:19

Because it's just not plausible...

Sorry but it is.

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overthinker97 · 08/12/2025 19:11

MaggieBsBoat · 08/12/2025 05:24

I think he was obviously trying to reassure his wife. I’m assuming her evening was far worse than yours when she realised that you were there.
He‘s a creep who shouldn’t have tried to speak with you at all. I’m sorry OP.

Thank you. To be honest I don't think they needed to discuss me at all. Obviously it was a private conversation that I overheard, but I was perfectly content avoiding that man after hearing it. He made me feel weird by trying to chat to me.

Best to forget it now I know. Hopefully won't see him again!

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Theslummymummy · 08/12/2025 19:11

But you aren't 29. So why do you think it was you they were talking about

overthinker97 · 08/12/2025 19:12

MaggieBsBoat · 08/12/2025 08:06

Love a bit of misogyny in the early morning @Springtimehere !

I know right? The wife also said it was "strange" that I do things by myself, like going for a run/the gym by myself (shock horror), or being at home alone some evenings!

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