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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To let this make me feel bad?

66 replies

overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 19:05

It seems like a bit of a non-event (well it is), but it’s been on my mind so I’m going to ask on here anyway.

Long story short, there’s an older man (about 50) who apparently used to give me too much attention for his wife’s liking. Nothing major, he just used to stare at me, comment on my outfits and his wife would look angry and put her arm tightly around him. I’m mid 20s.

He was just an acquaintance, someone I bumped into at the gym and in the pub. I didn’t see him for months.

This weekend, he and his wife happened to be at the same wedding reception as I was. I was with a few university friends. I was standing outside on my own for a few minutes, just checking my messages (I didn’t want to do it inside at the table as it’s quite rude imo), and I overheard this man’s wife saying, ‘oh she’s strange isn’t she, not being married at 29….wonder why she’s on her own…’, and he replied, ‘yes it is strange isn’t it? Well I hope we don’t see her tonight (he obviously could see the back of me through the window).’

Needless to say, I avoided this man all night, as anyone would. But then he tried to come over and speak to me a few times, saying, ‘oh hello , it’s nice to see you, what are you up to these days?’, but I made excuses to just quickly leave. I just thought it was weird and insincere. I basically felt uncomfortable all night and it ruined my night a bit. I wonder if other people feel this way about me, although he's probably just a weird d!ck...

OP posts:
overthinker97 · 08/12/2025 19:13

Theslummymummy · 08/12/2025 19:11

But you aren't 29. So why do you think it was you they were talking about

Edited

No I am 29. I mistyped the 'early 20s' part. And the wife said my name.

OP posts:
JLou08 · 08/12/2025 19:14

She is jealous and he is trying to placate her. Don't let it get to you.

Theslummymummy · 08/12/2025 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Theslummymummy · 08/12/2025 19:28

Branleuse · 07/12/2025 20:39

I am surprised that others are so surprised that you can hear things on the other side of windows sometimes.

What is the point in trying to be thread detective over something that is completely normal and plausible.

At a wedding? With guests chatting and music. How close to the window were they all.

Illegally18 · 08/12/2025 19:38

overthinker97 · 07/12/2025 19:05

It seems like a bit of a non-event (well it is), but it’s been on my mind so I’m going to ask on here anyway.

Long story short, there’s an older man (about 50) who apparently used to give me too much attention for his wife’s liking. Nothing major, he just used to stare at me, comment on my outfits and his wife would look angry and put her arm tightly around him. I’m mid 20s.

He was just an acquaintance, someone I bumped into at the gym and in the pub. I didn’t see him for months.

This weekend, he and his wife happened to be at the same wedding reception as I was. I was with a few university friends. I was standing outside on my own for a few minutes, just checking my messages (I didn’t want to do it inside at the table as it’s quite rude imo), and I overheard this man’s wife saying, ‘oh she’s strange isn’t she, not being married at 29….wonder why she’s on her own…’, and he replied, ‘yes it is strange isn’t it? Well I hope we don’t see her tonight (he obviously could see the back of me through the window).’

Needless to say, I avoided this man all night, as anyone would. But then he tried to come over and speak to me a few times, saying, ‘oh hello , it’s nice to see you, what are you up to these days?’, but I made excuses to just quickly leave. I just thought it was weird and insincere. I basically felt uncomfortable all night and it ruined my night a bit. I wonder if other people feel this way about me, although he's probably just a weird d!ck...

Forget it OP. It's disagreeable to hear, I understand, but they're prats. Don't let it ruin your day. I agree with the pp who finds it strange to discuss the marital status of a woman in 2025.

overthinker97 · 08/12/2025 19:38

Theslummymummy · 08/12/2025 19:28

At a wedding? With guests chatting and music. How close to the window were they all.

They were sitting right in front of it!

OP posts:
overthinker97 · 08/12/2025 19:40

Illegally18 · 08/12/2025 19:38

Forget it OP. It's disagreeable to hear, I understand, but they're prats. Don't let it ruin your day. I agree with the pp who finds it strange to discuss the marital status of a woman in 2025.

So do I, and it's not even unusual to be single at any age nowadays. The man is so two-faced as well, which was just irritating.

OP posts:
Illegally18 · 08/12/2025 19:42

overthinker97 · 08/12/2025 19:40

So do I, and it's not even unusual to be single at any age nowadays. The man is so two-faced as well, which was just irritating.

The man was just keeping peace in the house...

BecauseIWantTo · 08/12/2025 20:00

Branleuse · 07/12/2025 20:39

I am surprised that others are so surprised that you can hear things on the other side of windows sometimes.

What is the point in trying to be thread detective over something that is completely normal and plausible.

I can hear my neighbours outside my kitchen window as clear as day. I overhear their full conversations with the air fryer on and watching something on my iPad and they aren’t directly in front of it.

My cat kept me awake miaowing (although it is like a siren) outside my bedroom window all last night and it’s double glazed.

It wonder if it depends on the distance and the type of window but I didn’t think it was that unusual to hear through windows?

This is good to know because my neighbours obviously just assume I can’t hear their conversations or I’m sure they wouldn’t stand outside discussing some of the things that they have in the past!
It put me off my dinner the other night finding out that you can have worms that live in your bum. With having no children I was blissfully unaware and didn’t think it could possibly be true until a friend confirmed and told me her children were frequently infested when they were little.

I wouldn’t mind hearing how a 53 year old man and his similar aged wife caught them though when they have no kids and he is retired and she works from home, it’s either very poor hygiene or as they spend a lot of time in the garden maybe garden worms in an activity that’s gone wrong?! 😂.

I might just ask straight out and then they will definitely know I can hear them and I might get a bit more peace and privacy.

Letsbe · 09/12/2025 08:48

This is the kind of thing my wife and I say x is lovely I wonder why she is not with someone. I know its rude crass ignorant and old fashioned but its not malicious and we would feel awful we might have upset you.

overthinker97 · 09/12/2025 12:54

Letsbe · 09/12/2025 08:48

This is the kind of thing my wife and I say x is lovely I wonder why she is not with someone. I know its rude crass ignorant and old fashioned but its not malicious and we would feel awful we might have upset you.

The wife was not being lovely. Calling someone ´strange ´ isn’t nice, and her tone of voice said everything.

OP posts:
Disturbia81 · 09/12/2025 12:59

What a creep acting like a sap around 20 year olds, his poor poor wife.

overthinker97 · 09/12/2025 17:22

Disturbia81 · 09/12/2025 12:59

What a creep acting like a sap around 20 year olds, his poor poor wife.

I’m almost 30 but the point remains!

OP posts:
Disturbia81 · 09/12/2025 17:43

overthinker97 · 09/12/2025 17:22

I’m almost 30 but the point remains!

Sorry yeah I meant women in their 20s, oops

Branleuse · 09/12/2025 18:52

PatThePenguin · 07/12/2025 21:10

How is it remotely normal or plausible that you can hear someone's normal volume conversation, over the noise of all the wedding reception guests, when you're outside the building with your back turned to it?

Even if she pressed her ear up against the glass she's unlikely to be able to hear it word for word 😳

Maybe you need your hearing checked?

overthinker97 · 12/12/2025 19:29

Branleuse · 09/12/2025 18:52

Maybe you need your hearing checked?

Quite.

OP posts:
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