Update on Unpleasant Altercation

[zerofeeling]

Original thread from July https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5366159-unpleasant-altercation-who-was-the-most-unreasonable

TL:DR - I was harassed by a off duty police officer after a minor traffic incident in an isolated area. He abused his position to look up my address details and generate an official form which he hand delivered to our house. He followed this up a couple of weeks later by making an unauthorised visit to our house. I made an official complaint via 101.

A couple of the supportive posters asked if I could update at some point so I wanted to do that, I also wanted people to know that the Police genuinely are trying to deal with their 'bad apples'.

Professional Standards have now told me that the officer involved in the incident is being taken to a Misconduct Tribunal (probably won't happen til early next year) meanwhile he's been removed from all public-facing duties. The other off duty officer who was with him has been given a disciplinary on his record.

Thanks to everyone who gave advice and supportive posts. 😊

I didn’t see your post originally, but have just read it. So many horrible posters that obviously weren’t reading your updates properly, it was making me angry just reading their nasty responses. Glad to hear these officers are being dealt with.

Thank you 😊 I did get a lot of stick from some people who seemed to think I was just trying to justify my own bad behaviour and had no empathy for a woman in a potentially dangerous situation.

Amazing, well done OP. I remember your original thread and couldn’t believe some posters thought you being unreasonable!

I remember seeing your original post. i am pleased to hear you are getting a positive response

I just read your original thread and also couldn’t believe the posters who were adamant you’ve broken THE LAW!!

Your update makes so much sense - he’s broken all sorts of privacy laws. Good on you OP! Hope there will be further updates in your favour!

I remember the pillocks on the last thread. Thanks for the update - I am actually quite surprised it's being taken seriously!

So glad, well done op, I read your original thread xx

Your previous thread should come with a trigger warning for anyone with high blood pressure - so many batshit posters claiming you were the problem!

Well done.I remember the thread.

What an absolute creep! Well done OP for following through with the complaint.

gosh OP didn’t read your original thread, but that’s pretty scary stuff. Well done you!

I'm curious why you've enabled voting on this. It's just inviting people to come back and say YABU again.

Just read your original thread - wow - there are some utterly thick fuckers on that, how you remained so patient blew my mind!

I’m glad you spoke out and reported him - imagine how many women deal with this shit and the officer just gets to go about their business with no repercussions.

I’m glad you’re getting justice. I have friends who are police. I was also once harmed by a police officer. I hope you are ok.

Tbh, I read your original thread and, whilst I did not comment on it, I thought ywbu in just expecting him to agree with your assertion that his car wasn’t damaged, and that you were just going to drive off. I had a situation where someone went into the back of my car, and whilst there was no visual damage at first, I heard dragging as I drove home, and it had damaged the underside of my car. Luckily we’d swapped insurance details anyway. But what happened following your accident wasn’t good. So well done for getting some sort of investigation off the ground.

I did read your original post. I am so pleased this has been taken seriously OP. I really hope you feel vindicated and reassured.

I was on your original thread @zerofeeling . Thanks for the update. This is a very good outcome. Very well done for pursuing this matter. It can’t have been easy for you.

Your original thread was awful OP I'm so Sorry you were met with that.

I am so very glad that the police have taken this seriously.

I’m glad this has been taken seriously and the officers dealt with.
Im sorry that the posters in the original thread were so horrid.
One point though, personally if I’m out alone and parking up on a dead end I always leave the car facing the exit. Just in case. No we shouldn’t have too and it’s hideous that we have to think like that. But it does enable a faster getaway if I were to need it.

Glad they have been reprimanded. Total abuse of power and unacceptable intimidating behaviour. Sorry you have had to go through this op.

I'm so glad you followed the sensible advice on that thread. I read it again and had forgotten what a bunch of absolute tosh people were talking.

I am really pleased to read your update @zerofeeling but extremely sorry you had to not only go through that but contend with the insufferrable arseholes on your original thread. I hope said arseholes read this thread with your update, feel thoroughly ashamed of themselves and have the guts and common decency to admit they were wrong and apologise especially the one who claimed to be a female police officer.

All the best to you.

Well done OP, I think you were right to report them - they were intimidating and breached protocol to try and intimidate you further.

I still think your actions around the collision were wrong though and you shouldn't have been so dismissive that you could have caused their car damage. If you'd just handed your details over at the time of the collision then things probably wouldn't have escalated to this point. But considering you argued for 40 pages on your last thread that you probably didn't crash into them (despite hearing a loud crunch and suspecting at the time that you had) then you won't take that on board.

Well done for complaining! It’s brave to make a complaint against the police so you should feel proud that you took a stand. Two wrongs don’t make a right

Well done!! That’s brilliant.