Update on Unpleasant Altercation

[zerofeeling]

Original thread from July https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5366159-unpleasant-altercation-who-was-the-most-unreasonable

TL:DR - I was harassed by a off duty police officer after a minor traffic incident in an isolated area. He abused his position to look up my address details and generate an official form which he hand delivered to our house. He followed this up a couple of weeks later by making an unauthorised visit to our house. I made an official complaint via 101.

A couple of the supportive posters asked if I could update at some point so I wanted to do that, I also wanted people to know that the Police genuinely are trying to deal with their 'bad apples'.

Professional Standards have now told me that the officer involved in the incident is being taken to a Misconduct Tribunal (probably won't happen til early next year) meanwhile he's been removed from all public-facing duties. The other off duty officer who was with him has been given a disciplinary on his record.

Thanks to everyone who gave advice and supportive posts. 😊

I read your previous post OP and it’s quite concerning the number of thickos blaming you !
Well done for reporting police misconduct snd mysoginy. Good outcome !

Obviously none of us can say for sure what we'd do in a hypothetical situation but I don't think I'd be keen to have given mine in the OPs circs. A noise on its own with no evidence of the car having to come into contact with anything I dont think would meet my criteria of reasonable grounds.

I might have moved my car to see if there was a branch or other item underneath it responsible for the noise but hindsight is 20 20 as they say

Perhaps you missed the point that it all depends on exactly what OP told the call handler. In any case, does the lack of a need to report it to the police mean you don’t need to exchange insurance details?

Dunno. But I'm pretty sure OP has that covered at this point.

I wouldn’t be giving out my insurance details if my car hit something underside . OP said she checked her car and theirs.
If I drive over a bit of large debris and person in neighbouring car assumes I've hit his car, it’s really none of his business to have my insurance details.

That aside, the officers were obviously enjoying intimidating the OP.

I'm with you on this @zerofeeling, and really don't understand why people felt the need to be so shitty on your other post.
Many years ago, a speeding driver smashed into the back of me, I had just parked up at the side of the road.
Exchanged details, and lo and behold that night my car was torched.
There was a silver lighter found nearby with his initials on, but that didn't prove anything, according to the police.
Touch wood, not been involved in an accident since, but I would not exchange details if I was, especially as the insurance companies have access to the vehicle database.

As I’ve already said, I’m not defending the awful police officers.

OP never said she knew she had driven over a piece of large debris. She said she checked the front of their car, not the underneath (and if it was me, I wouldn't even know what to look for underneath, to prove I hadn’t caused any damage by e.g. something getting bent/knocked out of place).

No point in replaying the "should/shouldn’t have given details" disagreement of OP's first thread, but imo it’s not as clear-cut as some are making out.

@zerofeeling wow. I have the utmost respect for you keeping your cool on the other thread - there were some bstshit responses on there!
Well done for seeing this through, he deserves the consequences of his actions.

@DCorMe have you seen this update? As a female police officer who defended his actions, what is your response now?

@SoMuchBadAdvice please read this update.

The points you're missing are:

1. I didn't want to give him any personal details because of his behaviour. If he'd behaved normally I wouldn't have minded
2. He kept saying that it was irrelevant if there was any damage, I still had a duty under the law to report it.

Btw, despite having all the necessary details he has never put in an insurance claim.

Yes but he might be able to twist this. OP has no witnesses but he does have a witness who we can bet will back him up. I just worry they might deem him not to have accessed the database inappropriately if he can convince the standards board that he had legitimate reasons for doing it. As I said, it may be wise to await the outcome before cracking the Champagne open.

How did they actually identify the two off duty officers anyway?

Jesus the comments on the other thread! Just zero empathy. Good result OP. Hopefully you've saved some other woman having to deal with this intimidating behaviour.

I remember your original thread, wel done for sticking up for yourself and pushing for an investigation.

A friend of mine was sexually assaulted by an off duty police officer in a club, who abused his position to get away with it. Despite her best efforts, the force stood by him and buried the issue.

You did good.

Not sure what 13% of people think you are being unreasonable about here!

One of them put a form he'd printed off through her door. Had his name on it,

So good to see you're on the road to justice for this, and that the police are dealing with bad apples.

It's an entirely rotten system and we've a long way to go https://www.centreforwomensjustice.org.uk/about is well worth looking at.

That's great news, OP. Well done you for sticking with it and for standing up to them.

Well done. Nasty bullying behaviour and frankly shocking abuse of police resources. At most public institutions that is a sacking offence.

It takes a lot to stand up to the police! And there were numerous critical posts on Mumsnet aimed at the OP.

She has done amazingly well to take this further. 👏👏👏

I’ve just read the original post and am so angry with some of the thick posts. The one that annoyed me the most was “playing the woman card”! WTF is that? I pray these fools don’t become jurors.
I’m glad you were taken seriously OP.

I remember your post OP, I'm glad you're getting a resolution. You were bullied by some of the posters on the original thread.

Clearly there was no damage to his car as otherwise he would have made an insurance claim. Can you imagine it "I'd like to make a claim for a collision. Here is the evidence of absolutely nothing".

Car bumpers are designed to deform and absorb impact so if there was any contact there would have been damage.

I'm glad the police are taking your complaints seriously.

I’ve just read your previous thread and can’t believe the pile on that you received.
Obviously, you should have given your details but I’d have been terrified too if two men were shouting and filming me and showed me a police badge. My first thought would be that it was a scam.
That being said, that officer was outrageously out of order. This is partly why some people struggle to have any respect for the police. Hopefully the bad apples are definitely in the minority.

Good work OP. I remember your previous thread and some of the sad little male apologists who were salivating at the chance to slap you in the face. I'm glad in this instance the police are taking action and I'd really like to believe they're determined to sort out the "bad apples". But I won't hold my breath.

My god, comprehension really isn't some posters strong point.

'i still think' blah blah blah, nobody cares. OP was correct. So pipe the fuck down.