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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU: DH & Sourdough supplies

62 replies

Jellywife · 21/08/2025 11:13

Just had a row with DH.

Our flour is stored in labelled canisters across two shelves. DH typically moves the plain/sf flours to the higher less accessible shelf when he (daily) tops up his sourdough with bread flour. I know to check the labels carefully before I bake.

I’ve baked three times with the kids this fortnight and will be making pastry tomorrow for a family party. As such, I’ve moved the bread flour up so I could more easily get the sf/plain.

He's just burst in while I’m wfh and barrelled out of the house slamming doors because his pizza dough is ruined as he poured in self raising and he needs to buy more yeast to continue.

He’s now apologised for his temper but is adamant ‘his’ flour should always be kept in the same place.

WIBU to move it?

OP posts:
noidea69 · 21/08/2025 11:16

This has to be the most middle class thing i have ever read.

and thats saying something for mumsnet.

CommissarySushi · 21/08/2025 11:16

I think yabu. Is it really that much trouble to get the flour you need down? How inaccessible can it be?

Ablondiebutagoody · 21/08/2025 11:17

This has to be a wind up

Original poster
Jellywife · 21/08/2025 11:17

noidea69 · 21/08/2025 11:16

This has to be the most middle class thing i have ever read.

and thats saying something for mumsnet.

How rude! I nearly spat my single origin freshly ground coffee over my new Boden top!

OP posts:
Original poster
Jellywife · 21/08/2025 11:18

CommissarySushi · 21/08/2025 11:16

I think yabu. Is it really that much trouble to get the flour you need down? How inaccessible can it be?

Surely this argument cuts both ways

OP posts:
PauliesWalnuts · 21/08/2025 11:18

Stupid man-child needs to read the labels. The End.

AdoraBell · 21/08/2025 11:20

YANBU. As he behaves that way he can use his kitchen with his supplies and leave your kitchen alone. He sounds like a 12 yr old.

Original poster
Jellywife · 21/08/2025 11:21

AdoraBell · 21/08/2025 11:20

YANBU. As he behaves that way he can use his kitchen with his supplies and leave your kitchen alone. He sounds like a 12 yr old.

We do share cooking duties and both work FT

OP posts:
CrispieCake · 21/08/2025 11:29

Can he read?

If not, YABU. If yes, HIBU.

caramac04 · 21/08/2025 11:30

YANBU unless you are 6’ tall and your husband is much shorter.
At 5’3” I have to stand on a stool to reach the top shelves. Nobody else in the house needs to do that. Therefore, the things I use the most are on the lower shelves.

Original poster
Jellywife · 21/08/2025 11:30

CrispieCake · 21/08/2025 11:29

Can he read?

If not, YABU. If yes, HIBU.

Appears to be broadly literate, I’ve never asked directly I suppose 🤔

OP posts:
Starlight1984 · 21/08/2025 11:30

noidea69 · 21/08/2025 11:16

This has to be the most middle class thing i have ever read.

and thats saying something for mumsnet.

😆

BasicBrumble · 21/08/2025 11:31

He's partly annoyed with himself but can't admit that so you need to take the fall (in his view)

Original poster
Jellywife · 21/08/2025 11:31

caramac04 · 21/08/2025 11:30

YANBU unless you are 6’ tall and your husband is much shorter.
At 5’3” I have to stand on a stool to reach the top shelves. Nobody else in the house needs to do that. Therefore, the things I use the most are on the lower shelves.

He is (slightly) taller- but neither of us need a step for this shelf!

OP posts:
CarefulN0w · 21/08/2025 11:34

Not the point of the thread, but why does he need “more yeast” in his sourdough? The point of sourdough is that it doesn’t need added yeast. And even if you use plain flour rather than higher protein bread flour, it will still work. So for that DH is being a dick.

Original poster
Jellywife · 21/08/2025 11:36

CarefulN0w · 21/08/2025 11:34

Not the point of the thread, but why does he need “more yeast” in his sourdough? The point of sourdough is that it doesn’t need added yeast. And even if you use plain flour rather than higher protein bread flour, it will still work. So for that DH is being a dick.

The yeast was for the pizza dough, would talk about how we’re planning to get the Ooni out tonight but don’t want this thread deleted as parody 😬

OP posts:
jonthebatiste · 21/08/2025 11:42

I’d mop his brow when he gets back and soothingly tell him to stop being so angry with himself for making such a stupid mistake, that everything will be alright and it’s not the end of the world, we all have brain farts from time to time and he shouldn’t be so hard on himself. I’d maybe even offer to write PLAIN, SR and BREAD on the canisters for him if thinks it would help him not get into such a state again next time. I’d probably slip in a “dear” at some point.

Autumn1990 · 21/08/2025 11:47

His pizza dough will be fine with SR, I frequently make pizza dough with either SR or plain flour as I often don’t have bread flour in.

Original poster
Jellywife · 21/08/2025 11:49

jonthebatiste · 21/08/2025 11:42

I’d mop his brow when he gets back and soothingly tell him to stop being so angry with himself for making such a stupid mistake, that everything will be alright and it’s not the end of the world, we all have brain farts from time to time and he shouldn’t be so hard on himself. I’d maybe even offer to write PLAIN, SR and BREAD on the canisters for him if thinks it would help him not get into such a state again next time. I’d probably slip in a “dear” at some point.

They are labelled. He’s suggested we get new colour coded labels though!

OP posts:
PinkNosy · 21/08/2025 11:52

Coloured labels?

Maybe he actually can't read and doesn't want to admit it, after all these years?

Newnamesagain · 21/08/2025 11:52

Missing the point of the thread entirely, could he get a different shape pot for his flour? If he's not reading the labels it's time to bring out the big guns.

I assume ooni sell something appropriate.

Keroppi · 21/08/2025 11:53

Buy him a diff shaped/colour container
Pizza better be nice! Your choice of toppings since he was mardy

Talipesmum · 21/08/2025 11:57

I think you should both keep the flour in the same place on the shelves (I mean don’t move it around, keep each in a consistent location) and also have more obvious colour coding / labelling. Seems like he thinks the flour he uses every day always lives on the lower shelf, and yours has no fixed abode, whereas you think the most recently used flour lives on bottom shelf.

Original poster
Jellywife · 21/08/2025 11:59

Talipesmum · 21/08/2025 11:57

I think you should both keep the flour in the same place on the shelves (I mean don’t move it around, keep each in a consistent location) and also have more obvious colour coding / labelling. Seems like he thinks the flour he uses every day always lives on the lower shelf, and yours has no fixed abode, whereas you think the most recently used flour lives on bottom shelf.

This is the crux of the issue. I regard plain flour as a store cupboard ingredient for sauces etc in family meals whereas the bread flour is for a hobby.

OP posts:
EvenMoreCrisps · 21/08/2025 12:00

I wouldn't be attracted to a man having an aggressive tantrum like a child, over his own failing.
Let him figure out a way to rectify his incapability.