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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Car as main surprise 18th birthday gift

54 replies

Vulture22 · 23/04/2025 11:34

Im coming from a place of growing up with zero help, had to get and pay for my own lessons/licence/car, as did DH, so I’m asking for opinions as some people have made me feel it’s well…odd

DDs 18th birthday soon and we’ve bought her a car as a main gift, she doesn’t know. Won’t be much more substantial just a few little bits as we’ve been paying for lessons/car purchase and will be covering her insurance for this year.
Shes got her test just before, it’s the car model she wanted, and I was thrilled to be able to do this for her as we didn’t get anything like it, I can’t even remember my 18th. It took ages to find an instructor with availability and then a while to get a test, hence she’s nearly 18 by the time she’s getting there.

A lot of people seem to think she should have had a car months ago when she started learning, or she should have just got a car anyway and it not to be a birthday gift? I’ve been almost made to feel tight. I would have been chuffed to bits with a car but maybe I’m still comparing to my upbringing too much.
I guess I’m just feeling down that I was chuffed and now feel a bit deflated.

YABU a car shouldn’t be a gift just an expected life thing

YANBU a car is a fine main gift for an 18th birthday

OP posts:
Mumofyellows · 23/04/2025 13:06

A car is a wonderful 18th Birthday gift!

QueefQueen80s · 23/04/2025 16:03

SilverSeam · 23/04/2025 11:36

It’s like a different world on here sometimes! Plenty of kids won’t have parents in a position to buy them their first car, so just give it as planned and stop caring about what other people think.

Yes it really is.. some forget they are in the tiny percentage of wealthy people in the UK. Most could only dream of even giving a car as a present

ignore them OP

Notmyrealname22 · 23/04/2025 22:39

My kids will be very lucky if they get gifted a car ever, let alone when they are just turning 18. And we are doing just fine financially.

i believe they need to work for it. I would gladly go halves in a car, and match whatever they can contribute. There is no way I would ever just give them a car “just because”.

So no, YANBU, in fact you are being very generous.

WinterMorn · 23/04/2025 22:47

northernballer · 23/04/2025 11:47

Jesus I didn't even get driving lessons and I know plenty of people who can't afford that for their kids let alone a car.

Same here. I didn’t have even one lesson paid for, let alone a car! Posts like this never fail to amaze me.

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