Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Car as main surprise 18th birthday gift

54 replies

Vulture22 · 23/04/2025 11:34

Im coming from a place of growing up with zero help, had to get and pay for my own lessons/licence/car, as did DH, so I’m asking for opinions as some people have made me feel it’s well…odd

DDs 18th birthday soon and we’ve bought her a car as a main gift, she doesn’t know. Won’t be much more substantial just a few little bits as we’ve been paying for lessons/car purchase and will be covering her insurance for this year.
Shes got her test just before, it’s the car model she wanted, and I was thrilled to be able to do this for her as we didn’t get anything like it, I can’t even remember my 18th. It took ages to find an instructor with availability and then a while to get a test, hence she’s nearly 18 by the time she’s getting there.

A lot of people seem to think she should have had a car months ago when she started learning, or she should have just got a car anyway and it not to be a birthday gift? I’ve been almost made to feel tight. I would have been chuffed to bits with a car but maybe I’m still comparing to my upbringing too much.
I guess I’m just feeling down that I was chuffed and now feel a bit deflated.

YABU a car shouldn’t be a gift just an expected life thing

YANBU a car is a fine main gift for an 18th birthday

OP posts:

SilverSeam · 23/04/2025 11:36

It’s like a different world on here sometimes! Plenty of kids won’t have parents in a position to buy them their first car, so just give it as planned and stop caring about what other people think.

TeenToTwenties · 23/04/2025 11:37

A car is absolutely fine as an 18th gift.

Different families do things differently around cars and driving.
Verging from no help, if you want to drive you pay for it all (either due to finances or on principle) to we'll fund it all lessons, car, insurance.

Anything is fine. Being clear on intentions is helpful in the run up to turning 17.

hattie43 · 23/04/2025 11:38

It’s a lovely thing to do , ignore anyone else’s view

FrenchandSaunders · 23/04/2025 11:40

It's a fabulous gift and I think it absolutely should be a gift and not just handed over. Mine got one for their 17th, only because she really needed to be able to drive. It feels much more like an 18th or 21st BIG present to me.

BobbyBiscuits · 23/04/2025 11:41

Anyone that tries to make you feel tight for buying an 18 yo lessons, test, insurance and a car of her choice is pathetic.

If anything it could seem like you were spoiling her. I don't necessarily believe parents should fund their adult children's desire to drive. It's not essential.

Just ignore them anyway. I'm sure your daughter will be delighted and be very grateful. I hope she gives you lifts back from the pub in future though!

wakeboarder · 23/04/2025 11:41

I honestly think it's great,I don't know anyone who has had their parents purchase them a car. All 3 of mine had to save up and buy their own. She'll be thrilled

Ohdearwhatnow4 · 23/04/2025 11:42

You do you, makes no difference what anyone else thinks. My 2 DD both had cars for their 17th, my DS didn't want to learn to drive so didn't get a car. One DD had a big 18th party other went on a holiday, again DS didn't want either so I gave him a lump sum. I also have a 16 DS and he won't be getting a car at 17 as not mature enough and doesn't even have a part time job. All 4 of my kids will end up the same spent on them just not always at the same age. I don't care what anyone else says. To add I never had a big present as my family never had the funds and if funds were a issue mine wouldn't of gotten cars and that.
Hope she has a lovely birthday and passes her test so she can enjoy her car.

OoooopsUpsideYourHead · 23/04/2025 11:44

Honestly, the questions on this forum get more and more ridiculous.

DUsername · 23/04/2025 11:44

Who are these people who think that?! Hardly any of my kids friends got gifted cars.

thismummydrinksgin · 23/04/2025 11:46

She will be chuffed, in no may should she get this just for nothing. Amazing birthday present x

SJM1988 · 23/04/2025 11:46

I think it is a great gift. A car is not a right, it is something you can only have if you can afford it. Your DD is lucky enough to have parents who can afford it, so I think it makes a great present. I don't think we would just purchase a car for our children (when they get there), it would be tied to a birthday present.
I never got a car from my parents - although they paid for driving lessons. I eventually bought my own but not until I was 25!

northernballer · 23/04/2025 11:47

Jesus I didn't even get driving lessons and I know plenty of people who can't afford that for their kids let alone a car.

littlemissprosseco · 23/04/2025 11:47

You do you, it’s fine and no one else’s business.
But having a car and driving lessons all paid for is by no means the norm! Make sure she understands that!!

Oreosareawful · 23/04/2025 11:47

Bloody hell, I would have loved a car from my parents on my 18th birthday. But they couldn't afford it and I have two younger brothers that they would also have to buy cars for.

I bought my own in the end.

Ignore anyone suggesting you're tight!

HappyToSmile · 23/04/2025 11:47

I don't know who would think of it as anything other than a lovely present? Whether it had been for her 17th, 18th or 27th birthday!

pigsDOfly · 23/04/2025 11:48

You must have some very rich friends OP if they think that's a cheap present for an18th birthday.

It's a fantastic present.

Hope she passes her test.

Moveoverdarlin · 23/04/2025 11:48

A car is an obvious present for a 17th, 18th, 21st birthday if you are fortunate enough to afford it. There is no rule, anyone who is suggesting you are tight is ridiculous.

JaneWithTheUntidyHouse · 23/04/2025 11:49

That's a wonderful gift for her 18th.

thaisweetchill · 23/04/2025 11:50

Wow it’s an incredible gift! I was very lucky to have a car given to me by my Nan when I was 17, I'm 30 now and still grateful to this day. I loved that car and really appreciated it. Your child will be absolutely made up, you have definitely paid over the odds with insurance etc!

ohtowinthelottery · 23/04/2025 11:51

Reminds me of a conversation with my DS when he was turning 17. According to him "everyone a 6th form is getting a car for their 17th birthday!". I was sure that it would not be the case - he was at the local comp in a working class area!

One or two of his peers did get cars but it certainly wasn't the norm. We paid for driving lessons as part of his birthday and Christmas presents that year and added him to our car insurance before he took his test.

I recently had a conversation with a neighbour whose DC has just turned 17. The parents are paying for car insurance for the 1st year but the DC has/is saving to buy their car themselves.

Wardrobehanger · 23/04/2025 11:51

Car is an amazing gift for an 18th.
Dont listen to anyone who says it isn’t.
She’ll be thrilled

OoooopsUpsideYourHead · 23/04/2025 11:51

Playing devil's advocate but if you've told 'a lot of people' what you've decided to buy her, is there a chance they've just said that to 'shut you up' so to speak?

I mean if for example you're actually saying, "Oooh do you think this gift is ok, or is a car just an expected life thing and I'm being tight?"

Their eyes will be rolling out of their heads.

Original poster

Vulture22 · 23/04/2025 11:53

pigsDOfly · 23/04/2025 11:48

You must have some very rich friends OP if they think that's a cheap present for an18th birthday.

It's a fantastic present.

Hope she passes her test.

Thanks, we do live in a very affluent area and both DDs have friends who’s parents are much better off than us, which also skews my views sometimes. Maybe need to give my head a wobble and put it back on straight.

OP posts:

BangersAndGnash · 23/04/2025 11:55

Blimey! I was only able to give my Dc a short course of lessons! No way could I ever afford a whole car plus insurance!!

It’s no one else’s business.

Why discuss it with anyone else, why listen to them?

Your Dd is a lucky young woman and will no doubt be delighted!

Ted27 · 23/04/2025 11:55

@Vulture22

It's an amazing gift, particularly if it's the car she wanted.

Like you I had no help, it just wasn't there to give. I'd hoped to do better for my son. Although I wasn't able to pay for driving lessons and car outright, I was able to pay for about half his lessons, licence and test. I was also able to give him just over half the cost of the car and a contribution to his insurance for his 19th birthday.

He was absolutely thrilled as I'm sure your daughter will be.

Flip

1 2 3