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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What goes around comes around?

57 replies

iwasntexpectingthatoops · 14/12/2024 20:49

I have name changed for this.

Roughly 7 years ago you lot helped me when my DH left me after 20 years. He was having an affair.

The other woman took it upon herself to be extremely hateful towards me. Stalked me via social media, terrorised myself and my family. She ended up with a criminal record and restraining order (2 years after the split)
She took great delight letting me know she had "won my man". I didn't even know we were having a competition Grin

He never paid me any child maintenance, left us destitute. He is self employed.

Well, he's done exactly the same to get. Left her with her kids for another woman, she had nothing. No money, no home, nothing. Now she wants to befriend me and go after him for his money. Is this woman insane?

Well anyway, aibu if I literally don't give a shit and don't feel sorry for her one bit?

OP posts:
Zone2NorthLondon · 14/12/2024 20:59

When You stop laughing tell her to jog the fuck on
You're living a different life, this is her shite. Her show. It not a double act

Fireworknight · 14/12/2024 21:01

I ‘m sorry that she’s also been cheated on etc, but you don’t owe her anything.

stayathomer · 14/12/2024 21:01

Be the bigger person and just message saying‘sorry he did the same to you. Best of luck in the future’

Everlygreen · 14/12/2024 21:03

I wouldn't be sorry that it happened to her. She deserves it and I would gladly tell her that and block her. Remind her of her criminal record and restraining order too before blocking her. Good.

Everlygreen · 14/12/2024 21:04

stayathomer · 14/12/2024 21:01

Be the bigger person and just message saying‘sorry he did the same to you. Best of luck in the future’

😅😅😅😅

Devilsmommy · 14/12/2024 21:04

Zone2NorthLondon · 14/12/2024 20:59

When You stop laughing tell her to jog the fuck on
You're living a different life, this is her shite. Her show. It not a double act

First post nails it as usual. The fucking gall of some people 😂

Zone2NorthLondon · 14/12/2024 21:05

stayathomer · 14/12/2024 21:01

Be the bigger person and just message saying‘sorry he did the same to you. Best of luck in the future’

Say best of luck platitudes to a woman who stalked @iwasntexpectingthatoops
Women don’t need to be nice, women don’t need to be bigger person to people who abuse them. Stop advising women to be conciliatory to their stalkers
enfuckingnough with platitudes

BMW6 · 14/12/2024 21:08

Oh I sooo hope you laughed in her face!

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 14/12/2024 21:09

What @stayathomer said with a 👍🏼 emoji 😂

StormingNorman · 14/12/2024 21:11

Karma can be a funny fucker.

stayathomer · 14/12/2024 21:11

Zone2NorthLondon

but why? What’s it going to do except start something up with her? And it’s nothing about women being nice, it’s just about why bother not being anything but indifferent

MumOfOneAllAlone · 14/12/2024 21:13

I don't know you and I'm smiling on your behalf 😄

Yes, karma is a right old bitch. Please stay strong and don't let her manipulate you in any way. Love mumsnet sometimes x

3luckystars · 14/12/2024 21:16

How did she make contact with you?

I hope his new girlfriend is not like her or she is in big trouble! I’m very glad he is in your rear view mirror.

Could you just say that’s all history, it’s behind me now and hopefully you can do the same.

Zone2NorthLondon · 14/12/2024 21:21

stayathomer · 14/12/2024 21:11

Zone2NorthLondon

but why? What’s it going to do except start something up with her? And it’s nothing about women being nice, it’s just about why bother not being anything but indifferent

Edited

Do you understand you’re asking op to make platitudes with woman who stalked her to extent she required an injunction? Why would op inanely say sorry? Sorry for what exactly

You’re advising superficial messaging and platitude to the abuser
No
Stop with the be nice routine

stayathomer · 14/12/2024 21:24

Zone2NorthLondon

see I wouldn’t see it as platitudes I’d personally see it as an off you go!!

Jimjamssy · 14/12/2024 21:24

Completely ignore her.
Serves her right.

Dymaxion · 14/12/2024 21:26

Well, he's done exactly the same to get. Left her with her kids for another woman, she had nothing. No money, no home, nothing. Now she wants to befriend me and go after him for his money. Is this woman insane?

She was quite happy in being complicit hiding his money from you when it suited her situation, so I think you block her and see how well she does getting a single penny out of him. Given his MO its likely to be four fifths of fuck all !

Zone2NorthLondon · 14/12/2024 21:28

stayathomer · 14/12/2024 21:24

Zone2NorthLondon

see I wouldn’t see it as platitudes I’d personally see it as an off you go!!

Do you understand the ow was a perpetrator of emotional abuse. Receiving a restraining order for her actions. Absolutely no reason for op to reach the fuck out to her tormentor

EleanorBettyJackie · 14/12/2024 21:28

When a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy. She's a silly cow. Let her deal with him the way you had to - on her own.

stayathomer · 14/12/2024 21:32

Zone2NorthLondon

ah yeah fair enough

LonginesPrime · 14/12/2024 21:32

Tell her to stop stalking you...

tothelefttotheleft · 14/12/2024 21:35

stayathomer · 14/12/2024 21:11

Zone2NorthLondon

but why? What’s it going to do except start something up with her? And it’s nothing about women being nice, it’s just about why bother not being anything but indifferent

Edited

Being indifferent would be ignoring any communication from her.

AlertCat · 14/12/2024 21:41

“Oh dear. Well, he does have form for this sort of thing, doesn’t he?”

”Really? Shocked, I am, shocked, I tell you!”

”Oh dear. No advice I’m afraid, he doesn’t support his own kids so why would you expect him to support kids who aren’t his?”

but IRL, of course just block her and move on, maybe with a little smile but not for too long 😆

JohnTheRevelator · 14/12/2024 21:42

Big time karma.

MumOfOneAllAlone · 14/12/2024 21:46

I think what I'd do is report her to the non urgent police again and say she's started contacting you again and you want it to stop!