What is it about men ? ( in swimming pools)

[Ramblingnamechanger]

Another argument in the pool today. Several lanes available to share…one with 2 guys , ours with 2 women and one mixed. The man who arrived later chose ours. Nearly headed into me at 50 mph. I challenged him and suggested he moved into the lane next door with faster male swimmers. He said that he did not want to swim in the lane with the side of the pool. I said my preference was to swim in peace with other women and why was it that my preference was seen as not as important as his . He insisted that he would stay . I told him it was a macho view and we women should have our views and wishes given the same weight. So fed up that again an entitled male pushed it even when challenged.

How are the lanes divided....? By speed or sex? If by speed, then he should have been in the lane that corresponded with his swimming speed. The fact you want to swim with other women is irrelevant unless it's a single sex lane or session

Sorry, I may have misunderstood. Was the area you were in designated for women? If so he was being very unreasonable and I would have reported him to whomever manages the pool.
Otherwise, although he was a bit arsey, there’s not much you can do.

I'm not sure you should have made this a sex issue, as you just looked like you had a chip on your shoulder and didn't want men in 'your' space.

If you'd focused on the fact that he was swimming too fast to the point he'd collided with you, you may have got somewhere. 'You swim too fast for this lane, it's dangerous, you've already hurt me' etc etc.

Sounds like the lanes are separated based on speed and not the sex of the people you wish to swim with. Was he swimming generally to the speed of the lane and in the right direction? If he was then it's irrelevant what sex he was.

Whether the lanes are divided by sex or speed, a fast male swimmer doesn't belong in a lane with slow female ones, so he was wrong regardless. You might have done better to ask the staff to intervene though if he was in the wrong place. When it comes to things the impact women men often seem reluctant to stay in their lanes.

Your response to him was pretty crazy. Nothing macho about his lane preference.

You swim in the lane that matches your speed, I come across these entitled men all the time OP.

Unless he was actually the correct speed for the lane and they'd just decided to claim it as theirs?

Nearly headed into me at 50 mph.

From the OP.

I see this a lot. Male swimmers who don't want to compete with each other, but happy to compete with women. We're semi-invisible so no threat. They can just plow into us.

My solution? Do backstroke at them.

Unless there was a big sign saying "women's lane" (which would be both a massive drip feed and somewhat unbelievable), then YABVU.

What does "nearly headed into me" mean exactly? Looked like he was going to approach you but then didn't?

Again, maybe they had been entitled claiming the lane as their female only space, and he was swimming at an appropriate speed for the lane. I used to lane swim, and at one point was often fast enough for fast lane - random very slow folk would just get in the faster lane because 'there's more space here' and cause chaos to those around them.

I hate this. They go "I don't want to go in that lane because I'm afraid I won't keep up so I'll just smash all over these women instead at a speed to fast for the lane"

It's why I stopped lane swimming. Infuriating.

There's nothing which definitively makes this his fault though (see my example above).

They are usually by speed, perhaps he doesn't feel he's as fast as the next lane.

Unfortunately if the lifeguard or other leisure centre team member were to be act, I doubt his or her manager would be supportive.

How were the lanes divided?
Anyways, I've learned that 85% of people at the pool have a shit pool etiquette.

@DieStrassensindimmernass JFC it's what I said ...you swim in the lane that matches your speed. But I always get idiot men either too slow for the fast lane or seeing them race up and down the medium/slow one because there is only one woman in it.

I also hate the 'we want to change the speed of this lane to suit us and will get annoyed at anyone else trying to swim at the actual speed'.

We don't know who the idiot was here though, if anyone. The man was maybe actually swimming at the correct speed for the lane.

This. Too slow for the fast lane, don't want to bother the men. Too fast for the middle lane, happy to bother the women.

To be fair, the relative speed of the lanes does change depending on who's there, though. When I used to lane swim, I'd be in the fast lane on a Friday night but on Tuesdays two very, very good swimmers used to attend and I was suitably demoted to the middle lane 🤣

I've seen as many irritating females at the pool too tbh. We're only hearing one side here. Many humans just seem to struggle with lanes.

OP did say he was swimming fast, and the other fast swimmers were in the other lane. Unless they all got it wrong and everyone else should swap and this man stay where he is.

Why does his preference take importance over yours? Well same back at you from him. If it was a ‘ladies in floral swimming caps only breaststroke lane’ then fair enough, if each lane was for everyone, then that’s that, unless there is more to this we only have your side of the story that a big meanie was doing 50mph, for all we know you were slow and all over the place and he was going a normal speed, then out of nowhere you started having a go at him!

Yes, that's true. It still doesn't mean the male swimmer was automatically wrong here.