What is it about men ? ( in swimming pools)

[Ramblingnamechanger]

Another argument in the pool today. Several lanes available to share…one with 2 guys , ours with 2 women and one mixed. The man who arrived later chose ours. Nearly headed into me at 50 mph. I challenged him and suggested he moved into the lane next door with faster male swimmers. He said that he did not want to swim in the lane with the side of the pool. I said my preference was to swim in peace with other women and why was it that my preference was seen as not as important as his . He insisted that he would stay . I told him it was a macho view and we women should have our views and wishes given the same weight. So fed up that again an entitled male pushed it even when challenged.

I understand OP but I think next time just focus on the simple fact that he was in the wrong lane for his speed. As soon as you brought sex into the conversation you would have lost him (and many posters here).

as a fairly compentent lane swimmer for some 25+ years I now move lanes to get away from agressive men or even leave the pool. Sounds extreme I know but I think there are a few posters here who will understand. I even considered joining the [Muslim] women’s swim session at the council pool but it was aimed at beginners so I would have been too fast.

Male aggression towards female lane swimmers is well documented and a quick google will show many newspaper articles and X threads (and also on mumsnet IIRC) about some pretty horrible incidents.

No speed lanes in the pool. Have suggested this. Also suggested women only sessions. Or older swimmer sessions.. what I objected to was the way he chose a lane with two slower female swimmers over one with two men in, which he said were the same. But his preference held sway which seems the default. I absolutely have no problem with sharing the lanes with similar swimmers. But this was male entitlement.

Same here - also a DLL member.

And also same here with men splashing! Why do they do that?!

The other really annoying thing is the two women who are there sometimes when I go - who are walking. One in the slow lane and one in the fast lane. Why not do that in the other half of the pool FFS?!

There are no speed markers or gender restrictions so he was perfectly entitled to chose any lane he wanted...

I had the I don't want to swim next to the wall comment from a man when I got into a lane where two people swimming up and down and I asked him if he'd going round in circles so I could join the lane, I've never heard that before from anybody, basically he just refused and carried on swimming up and down. There were no signs on the lanes around direction or speed and when I brought it up to the staff about having clear signs (afterwards, not lifeguarded), they didn't really seem to care, so now I just don't go at that time of the morning as I felt quite intimidated, and he gets to swim how he wants to.

Eh?
Men and women can both be fast swimmers, slow swimmers, or splashy swimmers. I often overtook male swimmers and female swimmers, and was also overtaken by both at other times.

Yes, of course.
I just mean we shouldn't be jumping to assume who is right or wrong.

Attention seeking!!

I’ve never experienced any of that with men in particular in any pool I’ve visited. And regularly visited pools in the three different counties I’ve lived over 20 years. Regardless – just because men can swim faster, it doesn’t mean they do. I’ve comfortably swam with men in slow lanes for years with no problems. My DH also prefers the slow lane as he isn’t a confident swimmer.

Women-only sessions are common. Women-only lanes are not. The pool staff should be sorting out the sign posting the lane speeds and the guards on duty should be attending to swimmers not using the lanes appropriately.

To add to the other posts - the worst male swimmers I come across are at my local David Lloyd pool.

The latest offender was a man swimming in a snorkel looking straight down swimming bang in the middle of the lane who did literally plough into me (he was wearing fins so at speed too). When we surfaced to check for injuries he did apologise but said “I couldn’t see you as I don’t need to turn my head using the snorkel”. I did point out that swimming bang in the middle of the lane was not helpful and he did concede I had a point…

I share the dislike of swimming fast next to the wall - it's like being in a narrower lane.
Fast lane in the middle and slow lane at the wall is ideal.
Not something individual swimmers can negotiate among themselves.

Me too. Don’t think I’ve ever visited a pool where they haven’t been clearly marked. A very simple solution to anyone, man or woman, swimming at a speed that bothers anyone.

Why was it male entitlement any more than female entitlement?

Mine is David Lloyd too. Many of not all David Lloyds ban snorkels, I suspect your staff there aren't paying attention!

The pools where I swim have designated lanes - fast, medium, slow. I'm an experienced lane swimmer and use the medium lane as that is best for my speed.

Most sessions, a male swimmer who is speed-matched with the fast lane swimmers will get in the medium lane. Even if there is only one other swimmer in the fast lane, and the medium lane is busier. I don't get why anyone would not choose the lane where they are best speed-matched but presumably it boosts their ego to be the fastest in the lane.

It has to be said that sometimes women do the same and it's equally annoying. But more often it's men.

This is fairly common behaviour OP, by men and women, literally every time I swim there’s someone in the wrong lane or doing something that impacts other swimmers. Best bet is keep swimming at your own pace, change nothing, pretend he doesn’t exist, let him get frustrated and hope he changes lanes.
Basic common sense and courtesy somehow seems to vanish for some people once they’re in a pool.

If the lanes are divided by speed, then people can go where they want.

The issue is that he nearly collided with you. With only 2 other people in the lane it should be easy to swim round them. As a slower swimmer, you should also move aside and let him pass at the end of lengths.

If you are smacking your hand into the side of the pool or the rope, you need swimming lessons. Cannot see why a competent lane swimmer would do this. Same goes for splashy men (or women) - they have bad form. If someone has swum into you, they have bad form because they must be staring at the bottom of the pool.

a man getting into a lane and swimming faster than the people in it is a knob, especially if they are not even a competent enough swimmer not to swim into someone.

Ah, see, now you've lost me. He explained why he didn't want to swim in the other lane, which is a perfectly logical explanation as another poster has mentioned. If there are no restrictions, then your requirements are no more or less valid than his just because there was another woman in your lane. Would you have said the same if it had been a man who was swimming at the same pace as you and you had been the only female in it? Maybe he thought you were going too slow and that you should move into the mixed lane.

I don't think it is a gender a man problem but inconsiderate swimmer problem. I have seen women like this too.

Bring it up with management- that they should assign speed lanes

It bloody well is.
Three - or sometimes more- elderly women spend all afternoon, in a spaced out circle (the size of which not seen since Covid times)Tiptoeing up and down the pool chatting.
It takes up 40% of the space in the entire pool and everyone moves out to swim properly once they have all gone. 🫠

I regularly catch my hand on the rope... I can't see without my glasses so use the rope next to me to keep going straight

Didn't realise my eye issues made me incompetent

I agree with you. I lane swim several times a week at different pools and have had several run ins with men over the years - only ever in the faster lanes and never with a woman. Had a particularly bad run in a few months ago which I nearly called the police about. Whereas previously I would have stood up for myself, I just try to avoid lanes with men now or get out of the pool if I feel.uncomfortable.