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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Girls' weekend away

93 replies

Silversurfer1 · 09/10/2024 04:23

Is ok for a group of mature mums to go on a Butlins Adults Only weekend just for fun with friends, drinking and dancing? DH thinks they're all about sex with strangers.

OP posts:
Cosyblankets · 10/10/2024 05:06

Silversurfer1 · 09/10/2024 21:13

Thanks for all your advice. A bit overwhelming really, but your suggestions have made me feel better. Problem is, DH is very analytical. When he learned of the second girls visit to Butlins this year he googled Butlins Minehead and got directed to all sorts of Swinger sites and comment. He then foolishly joined a WhatsApp group called "Slutlins 1-4 November 2024." (Yes, it exists.) This receives over a 100 sordid messages a day where people are hooking up for sex in readiness for the weekend. Hence his questions.

I think the lengths he went to here are quite disturbing.

LoudSnoringDog · 10/10/2024 05:08

"Thanks for all your advice. A bit overwhelming really, but your suggestions have made me feel better. Problem is, DH is very analytical. When he learned of the second girls visit to Butlins this year he googled Butlins Minehead and got directed to all sorts of Swinger sites and comment. He then foolishly joined a WhatsApp group called "Slutlins 1-4 November 2024." (Yes, it exists.) This receives over a 100 sordid messages a day where people are hooking up for sex in readiness for the weekend. Hence his questions."

This is batshit crazy. Is he normally this weird?

AuntieJoyce · 10/10/2024 06:11

Silversurfer1 · 09/10/2024 21:13

Thanks for all your advice. A bit overwhelming really, but your suggestions have made me feel better. Problem is, DH is very analytical. When he learned of the second girls visit to Butlins this year he googled Butlins Minehead and got directed to all sorts of Swinger sites and comment. He then foolishly joined a WhatsApp group called "Slutlins 1-4 November 2024." (Yes, it exists.) This receives over a 100 sordid messages a day where people are hooking up for sex in readiness for the weekend. Hence his questions.

Bless him. Ask him to find you someone hot for the weekend

Shoxfordian · 10/10/2024 06:15

Problem is that dh is controlling, it's not that he's too analytical- it's that he doesn't trust you, and wants to control your movements- it's abusive

Guavafish1 · 10/10/2024 06:21

I think your husband is hiding something … how did he get onto such a lewd WhatsApp group.

he sound controlling and jealous - with very little trust for you.

you can cheat at any time and not necessarily in butlins.

Mermaidsarereal · 10/10/2024 07:31

Your DH needs to get a grip!

TwistedWonder · 10/10/2024 07:38

Silversurfer1 · 09/10/2024 21:13

Thanks for all your advice. A bit overwhelming really, but your suggestions have made me feel better. Problem is, DH is very analytical. When he learned of the second girls visit to Butlins this year he googled Butlins Minehead and got directed to all sorts of Swinger sites and comment. He then foolishly joined a WhatsApp group called "Slutlins 1-4 November 2024." (Yes, it exists.) This receives over a 100 sordid messages a day where people are hooking up for sex in readiness for the weekend. Hence his questions.

Well isn’t he a controlling little creep.

And he didn’t ‘foolishly’ join this WhatsApp group, he did it deliberately to manipulate and control what you’re ‘allowed’ to do and to use as a weapon to prove himself right .

Its not about Butlins, its about him dictating what you can and can’t do with your friends and that’s abusive

If he doesn’t trust you after 34 years that’s a him issue not a you issue

Yes, there are people who go to these weekends on the pull that’s not in doubt. But there’s even more who go to drink dance and have a laugh with their friends and sex with a random doesn’t even enter their radar.

Hrs being an absolute twat and the lengths he’s going to are actually pretty disturbing and he’s being VVVVVVVVVVVVU

IchWill · 10/10/2024 08:28

AbsolutelyFemale · 09/10/2024 22:50

Sounds amazing. I've been trying to get a group of female friends together to do the indie weekender for ages v jealous 🙃

Awww, you should try. Even if you find only one friend to go with you. It's so good that we book for the following year while onsite, without knowing the line up.

The first year I went, I took some dressy clothes as well as casual. Turns out dressing up is not required, jeans, band tees and trainers is the "uniform" for the weekend! Which makes it so relaxed and the band tees often prompt conversations with random people.

I make new friends every year and see them again the following years. Security says that the Shiiine crowd are the best of the adult weekenders as we are a very friendly bunch and never cause any trouble.

We only care about the music.

Notamum12345577 · 10/10/2024 09:21

IchWill · 10/10/2024 08:28

Awww, you should try. Even if you find only one friend to go with you. It's so good that we book for the following year while onsite, without knowing the line up.

The first year I went, I took some dressy clothes as well as casual. Turns out dressing up is not required, jeans, band tees and trainers is the "uniform" for the weekend! Which makes it so relaxed and the band tees often prompt conversations with random people.

I make new friends every year and see them again the following years. Security says that the Shiiine crowd are the best of the adult weekenders as we are a very friendly bunch and never cause any trouble.

We only care about the music.

I think the FatBoy Slim weekend crowd are definitely the best 😉

PeachyKeane · 10/10/2024 21:15

The indie crowd and the ravers, both excellent sets of people. Would love to go to either of those.

Globules · 10/10/2024 21:33

This time 2 weeks ago I was packing for Bognor 80s weekend. The friend I went with wishes I'd taken her years ago, as she had so much fun.

I was dancing until 3am 3 nights on the trot. Watched some amazing acts. Slept until midday. Beach time on the Saturday. Fairground rides on the Sunday. So many giggles with my girl.

Bumped into a few people from the What's App group, and had a boogy and shots with them.

I'm not doing it again until next year, as it took me 3 days to get my body back into a normal routine!

Of course you should go. If you're going to hook up with someone, you don't need to be in a chalet with a Redcoat looking on.

Newmember147 · 16/10/2024 17:02

I’m in the minority here but agree with the OPs husband, Butlins is a swear word in out house after two of my friends have divorces in progress directly attributed to affairs at these adult weekenders. Neither are known to have ever had affairs before etc.
it just seems to make people go crazy in my experience.

MyAmusedPearlSquid · 03/11/2025 02:13

Adult weekends are grim check Facebook for half of them sleeping with others

Bignanna · 03/11/2025 15:42

Newmember147 · 16/10/2024 17:02

I’m in the minority here but agree with the OPs husband, Butlins is a swear word in out house after two of my friends have divorces in progress directly attributed to affairs at these adult weekenders. Neither are known to have ever had affairs before etc.
it just seems to make people go crazy in my experience.

I agree with the OP’s husband too. Bet a lot do.

mamagogo1 · 03/11/2025 16:07

They are just a music festival but no camping. Not seedy, perhaps a bit tacky (which isn’t the same) but only because the accommodation isn’t great

loopyloolou · 03/11/2025 16:36

He is ridiculous !

john101 · 26/01/2026 08:41

im not sure people are getting the point you could have a loving wife/girlfriend you been with and both of you aint cheated but put in this situation and not know whats going to happen on the day its not to say we cant worry that something might happen and why is wrong for us to think that something might happen dont mean weve cheated i dont get some of the logic on here for real i trust my girlfriend doesnt mean it wont happen though does it no one knows what going to happen on the day and the situation

Bignanna · 26/01/2026 14:43

john101 · 26/01/2026 08:41

im not sure people are getting the point you could have a loving wife/girlfriend you been with and both of you aint cheated but put in this situation and not know whats going to happen on the day its not to say we cant worry that something might happen and why is wrong for us to think that something might happen dont mean weve cheated i dont get some of the logic on here for real i trust my girlfriend doesnt mean it wont happen though does it no one knows what going to happen on the day and the situation

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