Girls' weekend away

[Silversurfer1]

Is ok for a group of mature mums to go on a Butlins Adults Only weekend just for fun with friends, drinking and dancing? DH thinks they're all about sex with strangers.

I agree, snobbery indeed! A night at the theatre is grand but not a fun time with a group of friends to let loose! I do believe some people just haven't experienced or don't like this. X

Men only think women want to go off and shag other men as that's what they might do given half the chance.

Ain’t that the truth. I dated a guy a few years ago who hated me going out with my friends because according to him ‘ I know what men are like I trust you I don’t trust men’ FFS.

Im single and I love going away for holidays and weekends with my friends. It’s not about men - they don’t enter our radar. It’s about having fun and kicking back. I’ve just come back from a week in Crete with a friend. We sunbathed, drank cocktails, went on a boat trip, ate fabulous food - didn’t even glance at any men, that’s not what it’s about for us.

Thanks for all your advice. A bit overwhelming really, but your suggestions have made me feel better. Problem is, DH is very analytical. When he learned of the second girls visit to Butlins this year he googled Butlins Minehead and got directed to all sorts of Swinger sites and comment. He then foolishly joined a WhatsApp group called "Slutlins 1-4 November 2024." (Yes, it exists.) This receives over a 100 sordid messages a day where people are hooking up for sex in readiness for the weekend. Hence his questions.

The WhatsApp groups are frankly often a weird place and I don’t join them for that reason. They are usually fuelled by a small number of people desperate to find someone to sleep with / or “ bantering” - and whilst I’m not naive and am aware there were many ONS happening across the site - the emphasis for most was fun and music. I think the WhatsApp groups only represent a small sector of people going.

I can understand why those groups would make people raise an eyebrow but tbh I’ve raised a slight eyebrow at the lengths he’s gone too. My DH simply suggests I consider popping him a message once safely back in apartment / hotel after the nights finished so he can be sure I’m safe. I’ve been with many differing groups of ladies from high flying professionals, mums, a work event etc and 90% of people are he genuinely there to dance and have fun!

I might also say in Minehead I witnessed a whole other level of drunkenness fun - if that had been my first visit it may of scared me off 🤣

Sorry but this is really dodgy of him. I've just googled Butlins Minehead myself and not a single swingers site has come up on the first page of the search. He must have been searching for swingers stuff beforehand or searched for Butlins with those terms as well. And why did he join that WhatsApp group? He would have had to ask to join surely?

I'm sorry OP but I don't think he is 'analytical'. He's being controlling or worse he is being unfaithful and projecting all of this on you.

My dear friend goes to themed music weekends at Butlins Minehead with her husband of 50+ years. I’m pretty sure they aren’t there for a shagathon.

Well when a bunch of men have a weekend away there is cries of 'he is going to cheat'

But you know it's OK so why ask?

Why do some men think that women can't have a good time by themselves? So arrogant.

Seedy? You must be thinking of Pontins! 🤣

I’m booked into Butlins Minehead in November as well!

I went to one as a hen weekend - it was far tamer than I expected
Some all male groups, some all female, some mixed - a lot of people did fancy dress
There were some really good fairly well known (in their day) bands and singers - we also enjoyed the fun swims with DJs
I didn’t see any fights, obvious drug taking, or anyone who was dangerously out of it on alcohol
There was a lot of flirting going on but none of our party took it any further

And you say he JOINED this WhatsApp group OP?

You'll either allow him to control you by telling you you can't go or allow him to coercive control you by bending your ear relentlessly and sucking the joy out of it.

Or you can tell him firmly that you're going and to stop being a disrespectful cunt by judging your integrity and being a controlling asshole.

Ps..its easy to be married 34 years when you do only what your husband tells you that you can do.

So many snobs on here. I go to Shiiine On at Minehead in November. It's a music weekender mainly focusing on 90s indie and some dance acts.

It's an amazing weekend. I go with my girlfriends every year, this year is our 7th time. We pay for a gold apartment with a full kitchen and outside terrace, which is clean, modern and well equipped.

Staff, security and other punters are always fantastic and it's one of my best weekends of the year. It's definitely not a meat market / sausage fest. It's a gathering for music lovers who want to connect with fellow music lovers, get drunk with mates, and be transported back to one of the best decades.

I hope you go and that you have a brilliant time at your weekender.

Sounds amazing. I've been trying to get a group of female friends together to do the indie weekender for ages v jealous 🙃

Is ok for a group of mature mums to go on a ….

• Butlins Adults Only weekend: Yes.
• Pub crawl: Also yes.
• Weekend in Benidorm: Also yes.
• Vegas: Also yes.

DH thinks they're all about sex with strangers.

Your DH sounds the jealous and judgemental type.

I have just googled butlins minehead nothing seedy or related to swingers came up at all. Your H is a knob, just looking to spoil your weekend by looking for sites that if you google the right terms will come up about anywhere!

There maybe people looking for sex but you don’t have to join in!! Doesn’t he trust you? I would be really pissed off if he doesn’t especially if there is no history!

I am sorry I would be going - leave him to stew in his nonsense! He is being a controlling idiot!

Agree with all of this.

Plus the previous post describing the weekends as a laugh and a chance to have a boogie to whatever the music theme is.

There is so much snobbery on MN.

Don't be ridiculous.

No idea why a minority of posters try to dictate that their choice to not use a regularly used term, is somehow "the only choice" and everyone else (the massive majority of people) are therefore wrong.

It is not ridiculous. Language matters.

The term " girls" is used by men about women to diminish them. To patronise them and reduce their worth and status in society. That a lot of women join in with this attitude that they don't have the same value as adults I don't understand.

And similarly women using the term " lads " about a certain section of male adults to excuse behaviour that is unacceptable for teenagers let alone adult men is concerning.

He sounds super suss.

Excuse you, I am woman enough to know I go on girls weekends. Don't presume to know how others feel about language.

My son has used the N word, I have never. I wouldn't tell him he's wrong because I don't like the word. He can refer to himself however he wants. Don't police other people.

But you could have sex with strangers anywhere...