Was it unreasonable to take the table

[user17382]

Out with Dm today and my young DC's. There is a particular cafe that we really like and hadn't visited for a while. Went in and there were not tables so we said we would do some more shopping and then come back to see if any were free. Went back about 30 mins later and we see a table of 4. So we went straight to it and sat down/took coats off etc and went up to order.

At this point we realised a couple at the counter were complaining about us to the waitress. Apparently they had been about to sit at our table and as it was the last one available in there they now had nowhere to sit. Staff were very good and moved things around to get them some chairs but they spent the whole time in there tutting and giving us dirty looks.

My logic is that when going in to somewhere busy we always find a table first and then order. If we waited in line with the kids and then went to find a table and couldn't get one we would be stuck as the kids are too young to take the food or drink as takeout. But then I did feel really uncomfortable and that maybe we did something wrong.

Get table, leave someone at table and go to order.

the couple were stupid to both leave the table to order - is everyone else supposed to be a mind reader?

In a way I think YABU, it would be polite to offer the table you'd reserved to the people standing with a tray of food and nowhere to sit. But I do think cafes should have a table first policy, and have signs up saying so. Otherwise, how is it supposed to work, if you don't know if you can sit down before you order food? The couple who ordered first were a bit daft, especially as there were two of them. When out on my own I always just put my coat on the table to reserve it.

Of course you secure the table first! Otherwise, how does it work? Walk in, count how many tables are available, compare that to number of parties waiting in line, magically know which ones are eat in or take away, then wait in line for up to 10 minutes hoping that no one comes back from the toilet, moves tables, or walks in and sits down. Get your table then get your food!

I have been thinking of posting on here to ask this question! I have always ordered first, stressed that the tables would all go by the time I ordered, and watched as others saved seats before ordering. I hated the stress and you'd sometimes miss out, but felt too guilty/ unsure to do anything else.

Recently I've been told that the done thing is to save a seat with a coat or something and that's it's totally fine, so I now do this. It's so much less stressful! Can we please make it standard so everyone's on the same page?! I'm thinking a radio announcement 😋

Could we enable voting to see which is most common? Please 🙏

No, that's exactly the point. If everyone did what the OP did, everyone would have somewhere to sit!!

It's people insisting on queuing without a table that create a situation where they then don't have a table.

I would if I could but I'm on a mobile and am the least technical person sorry!!

Oops sorry just realised I posted under a username change as I had a medical problem I needed help with! Please be kind and don't comment about my other post as I don't know how to delete my comment now!

Ah I feel you, no worries 😆

YANBU, it didn't take 2 of them to order food surely one of them would wait at the table while the other ordered. If they both had to go up and order they should have left their coats there.

This is why I never dine in in cafes. Always takeaway and find somewhere nicer to sit elsewhere!

I wouldn't. If people had bagged a table first then I would have asked management what I was supposed to do.

If they didn't help I'd have asked for a refund

Would you mind if I started a sister thread with a link to this one, but with a vote?

You did nothing wrong. Who orders food then tried to find a table that’s ludicrous!

I do this too. I don't see a problem. With it, especially if there are small DC.

@MindfulGrateful go for it! I honestly don't expect it to get so much of a response!

*didnt

The people in the food queue may already have a table though. They may be getting a takeaway. It’s silly to assume they are waiting for the one remaining empty table.

I always find a table first too, and one person will wait at the table whilst other orders. I’d never buy food first and then look for a table like this couple. You didn’t do anything wrong and next time one of them needs to stay with the table or put coats on the chair to reserve

You'd be stupid to get order food before you get a table. Why do people do this then complain there are no seats.

I think it is incredibly antisocial to reserve a table with your coat or whatever before ordering. I would have no qualms about sitting at that table if I was juggling a tray and already had my food, and you were in the queue. “Oh is this your coat? Sure, you are welcome to join me at my table.”

You'd move someone else's belongings who have just as much right to be there as you do?

Vote here!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5006647-vote-was-it-unreasonable-to-take-the-table

Thanks, done 👍 I'm really curious to see what the result is

not necessarly you can still sit there then the "coat" can choose to stay at that table