Was it unreasonable to take the table

[user17382]

Out with Dm today and my young DC's. There is a particular cafe that we really like and hadn't visited for a while. Went in and there were not tables so we said we would do some more shopping and then come back to see if any were free. Went back about 30 mins later and we see a table of 4. So we went straight to it and sat down/took coats off etc and went up to order.

At this point we realised a couple at the counter were complaining about us to the waitress. Apparently they had been about to sit at our table and as it was the last one available in there they now had nowhere to sit. Staff were very good and moved things around to get them some chairs but they spent the whole time in there tutting and giving us dirty looks.

My logic is that when going in to somewhere busy we always find a table first and then order. If we waited in line with the kids and then went to find a table and couldn't get one we would be stuck as the kids are too young to take the food or drink as takeout. But then I did feel really uncomfortable and that maybe we did something wrong.

I've had no coats or bags stolen ever 😂

Life really is hard sometimes isn't it

This is actually the crux of it - cafes need a clear policy. Generally they’re a shambles with no clear system.

No just judging by what's being said.

No just judging by what's being said.

Nope total speculation.

The poster was getting a bit defensive because no one was agreeing and spouted her bag in the train theory.

What cobblers.

It's just not true at all that they're generally a shambles.

If it was generally a shambles then cafes would have a clear policy, but because the current norms tend to work smoothly they have never needed to put up a clear policy.

If it was generally a shambles then cafes would have a clear policy, but because the current norms tend to work smoothly they have never needed to put up a clear policy.

This is crazy. But actually it makes sense.

Me neither but then not do I put my bag on a train seat!

And I’m never wandering round a cafe with a tray of food and nowhere to sit 🤣

Well, that’s not true either. People in this country are just, by this point, used to the low-level chaos of cafe service: standing endlessly in a queue while one person behind the counter tries to do everything; never being sure whether they’re brining you the panini at the end or whether you have to hover; trying to be heard above the din of the hissing, clunking coffee machine - and now, apparently, wondering if someone will be giving you evils for having the audacity to dump your coat and shopping bags at a nearby table rather than stand there holding them in addition to the tray of hot coffees you’re about to juggle!

Have you ever been to a cafe in Europe? They are not like this!

Just to clear up some of the wild speculation:

1. I reserve a table before queuing for food
2. I have never had my coat stolen
3. I have never, not even once, put my bag on the seat next to me on a train
4. I have never had a complete stranger join my table without first asking if it's free
5. I have never joined anyone else's table without asking if it's free

What a world we live in!

YANBU, you get a table first and then order food. I thought this was how everyone did it and I'm baffled that some people would go in somewhere busy and order without knowing if they have a table. Re: being a lone diner as some have mentioned I either avoid busy places or put my coat down to bag a table. I'd also advise not being bothered by people in future who obviously can't plan their own lives out!

Thinking about this thread. Train nonsense and coat stealing aside, the OP was part of a group of 4 including kids.

Where do " food first " people think they should wait? All in the queue? At the side ?

Definitely table first, look at the menu then go up and order. Why would you order food without having a table? If on my own I would leave my coat at said table so people knew it was reserved

I think it depends on the establishment. Some places you’re seated by staff before ordering, so it’s clear in that instance.

In places where you’re not I think it does vary. There’s a cafe across the road from me in a local park. I always go and find a table first, and view the menu at the table. If there’s no table, I’ll leave.

But at a new place in town, all the menu is on screens behind the long counter, and generally people will immediately join the queue. Doesn’t mean you couldn’t just walk in a take a table, but on the whole you queue first. Or one of us will grab a table while the other orders.

Which brings me to my final point - if there’s two of them, why didn’t one of them go and sit down? Not too bright, were they?

I know an exact type of cafe like this and you’re correct here. Enter > sit down > order.
if they were both at the counter ordering they should have kept an eye on ‘their’ table and immediately mentioned to you.

When visiting cafe like this there are people ordering at the counter for takeaway, or paying - not ordering food THEN getting a table.

We have always found a table first.
Otherwise you risk not having one to sit at before we had a child we did this still.
How were you supposed to know they were going to sit there?
You probably didn't even see them or maybe they were taking out..
No need for them to be rude. Me being me if have said that you didn't take their table it wasnt reserved and you had no idea they were going to use it.

It’s actually the cafe being unreasonable. I hate this- I usually go to my local cafe by myself so I can’t save a table even if I wanted to, and by the time I’ve ordered someone has usually walked in and taken it- cue awkwardness because you have to have a table number to order and then I personally have to go ‘kick’ someone off.

would all be solved if the cafe had a clear process or sign, or even better you had to be seated. This would also stop groups of two sitting at tables for four which happens a lot.

@Jenni47

would all be solved if the cafe had a clear process or sign

No it wouldn't because as per many other MN posts, lots of people don't bother to read signs or are so arrogant they don't think they have to comply!

All it would do is help the ones who do generally follow rules. You'll still get the arrogant chavs who do what they want.

A sign solves nothing.

Show me one post that says someone can't be bothered to read a sign. Should be really easy for you since you state "as per many other MN posts, lots of people don't bother to read signs".

Show me one post that says someone can't be bothered to read a sign. Should be really easy for you since you state "as per many other MN posts, lots of people don't bother to read signs".

my post up thread state people sit down on tables with a reserved sign - when the table isn't reserved for them. there signs are big black triangular signs with white writing, usually positioned in the middle of the table

Fair point. I apologise - I forgot you'd said that about the reserved signs.

I do think most people would abide by whatever system was in place though - as long as we knew what it was. I certainly would. I thought about this thread today when I went for lunch with my daughter. We went to a Slug & Lettuce who operate "table first" as you have to give your table number when ordering at the bar in case anyone is interested 😉

Fortunately, there were plenty of spare tables so we didn't get a random "Jim" joining us at our table for 4, and nor did any of the other couples sat at the 4 person tables.

It doesn't matter if 5000 agree - they're wrong and rude as hell.

Which 5000 though???

The "Jims" who plonk themselves on your table without asking? Or the table first people? Or the queue first people?

You can see the dilemma?

Or the 'telepathy ' people?