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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not buy the teachers Christmas gifts?

127 replies

Applescruffle · 17/11/2023 19:40

AIBU to not buy the teachers Cheistmas gifts?
I mean, I know it's not unreasonable but is it the norm to buy them?

I appreciate the teachers very much and they are all absolutely lovely and I could afford to do it but the reality is... I just cba.
I have a million other people to buy for and I can't even think what to buy for half of them never mind another four people (two kids with a teacher and TA each).

Do the teachers even want 30 Christmas gifts from kids?

Is "I can't be bothered with it" a valid reason to not do it?

I must add I do make an effort at the end of the year. I handmake them beautiful gifts and get the kids to write cards and I always include the TA too and often some baked goods for the staffroom.

Ooh actually I could bake them some mince pies for the staffroom!

Anyway... AIBU and do you do it?

OP posts:
overthehill5 · 17/11/2023 19:43

This reply has been deleted

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Everydayimhuffling · 17/11/2023 19:44

A card or email with a personal message is better. That's all I ever really want, although I've had some great gifts from students.

SherlocksDeerstalker · 17/11/2023 19:45

Definitely not. I don’t need 32 mini Yankee candles! As sweet as it is, what I love is the notes and cards students write me. I keep every single one in a box and when I’m having a shit time I open it and read through some of them and remind myself that what I’m doing is worth it. So I’d say, get your kids to write a really nice message in a card, and that’s plenty.

Headingforholidays · 17/11/2023 19:46

Agreed, no teachers expect a gift. A thank you in the playground or a card very much appreciated.

SoSad44 · 17/11/2023 19:46

I never do and I never contribute to a collection. Sorry not sorry.

I do buy a gift for my childminder though.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 17/11/2023 19:46

I think you're being unreasonable as if no one buys a teacher gift then I don't get lots of end of term wine from my teacher neighbour.

Send wine. Think of the neighbours.

SisterMichaelsHabit · 17/11/2023 19:46

Most teachers get 2-4 gifts a year max. Most parents don't buy gifts for teachers. I've never ever met a teacher who expected a gift, they are always a pleasant surprise.

Original poster
Applescruffle · 17/11/2023 19:48

I say thank you every single day

OP posts:
frenchfancy81 · 17/11/2023 19:50

SisterMichaelsHabit · 17/11/2023 19:46

Most teachers get 2-4 gifts a year max. Most parents don't buy gifts for teachers. I've never ever met a teacher who expected a gift, they are always a pleasant surprise.

That's not my experience at all and I've been a teacher for 18 years...always do very well at Christmas and get something from around 22 out of 30 kids in the class. Vouchers, wine, chocs, homemade treats and cards are very usual at the schools I've worked in and very much appreciated- even sometimes get class collections for eg John Lewis vouchers.

Coconutter24 · 17/11/2023 19:53

I don’t even do the end of year gifts. My child makes their own card with their drawings and writing and that’s it. I do appreciate the teachers efforts I just don’t feel the need to spend money to show this. At Christmas they get a Christmas card out the same pack that is used for classmates

80skid · 17/11/2023 19:55

I don't find a bottle of wine in a gift back too taxing.
I then like to momentarily begrudge it to them whilst thinking how great it would be to be given 30 bottles of wine each Christmas.

Then I remember how wonderful my kids teachers are, how much more they do than simply what is required and that although many occupations put this much effort in, none have such a huge impact on my children's happiness daily.
They are primary though. Sorry secondary school teachers, you also do a fantastic job, but kids not so keen to be seen liking you!!!

bahhamburgers · 17/11/2023 19:56

I’ve only ever bought two teachers a gift across three children in school.

They were the teachers who were absolutely outstanding and helped my children and me through a couple of really rough things. I bought them costa gift cards and wrote them an email copying in the SLT saying how fantastic they had been.

Longma · 17/11/2023 19:59

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. at the request of it's author.

Snugglemonkey · 17/11/2023 20:01

We do whole class presents, which is so much better for the people who cba. Which is me. I so appreciate the mothers who organise it all!

overthehill5 · 17/11/2023 20:04

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LadyMonicaBaddingham · 17/11/2023 20:10

SherlocksDeerstalker · 17/11/2023 19:45

Definitely not. I don’t need 32 mini Yankee candles! As sweet as it is, what I love is the notes and cards students write me. I keep every single one in a box and when I’m having a shit time I open it and read through some of them and remind myself that what I’m doing is worth it. So I’d say, get your kids to write a really nice message in a card, and that’s plenty.

Edited

I do exactly the same, I call it my 'bad day box', and it's a really wonderful thing.

nameychanger5678 · 17/11/2023 20:12

This reply has been deleted

This is a previously banned troll.

Why is it offensive?

nameychanger5678 · 17/11/2023 20:14

I’ve always written a card with a special thank you. Our class did the whole class gift for Christmas and end of term and it just got ridiculous. Asking for £15 pp - the total spend was insane. I always opted out of Christmas.

Hankunamatata · 17/11/2023 20:14

I think a card with personal message is lovely and easy and cheap.

Tisfortired · 17/11/2023 20:14

DS is 10 and I am not a teacher Christmas gift buying person. He loved his reception teacher actually and she was lovely so we got her a Costa voucher and a card if I recall but that’s the only time. We haven’t bought gifts for any of his teachers since. He did ask me the other day if we can get his current teacher a gift this year as he has been fantastic with him, he’s come on leaps and bounds and DS really looks up to him. He’s so encouraging with the kids and I’ve not known any of his other teachers to make such an effort to spend 1-1 time with each child the way he has so I am happy to get him something but it will be something DS chooses and from him personally and I will not have much involvement in.

One of my close friends is a teacher and the amount of stuff she gets at Christmas/end of year is crazy. There’s only so many ‘best teacher ever’ mugs a person needs.

Melodysmum12 · 17/11/2023 20:18

Why? What is the relevance?!

Melodysmum12 · 17/11/2023 20:18

nameychanger5678 · 17/11/2023 20:12

Why is it offensive?

Show quote history

Meant to quote this! What is the relevance?!

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 17/11/2023 20:20

This reply has been deleted

This is a previously banned troll.

I'm confused? What's the link between coffee and breast cancer?

mrmagpie · 17/11/2023 20:22

I love my sons teacher, she's fantastic and great at her job. She knows this, and I actually emailed the headteacher just today to let her know what a great job my sons teacher is doing with my challenging child.

I figure she knows she is appreciated without me having to buy her a Yankee candle or another bloody mug? I've got three children and frankly can't really afford it on too of everything else!

Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 17/11/2023 20:22

Always get teachers Costa gift cards - not sure what they have done to people with breast cancer but l can't boycott them on the off chance dd's teacher has had a masectomy