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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to have a shower in the evening?

69 replies

ShabbyChic999 · 14/11/2023 19:31

I'm cracking up.....my DH hates showers in the evening in winter as the bathroom gets steamy, the window needs to stay open and cold air is coming in. I see his point but I think flexibility is needed. My two kids and I get up really early, 2 hours earlier than DH!! As I drop the kids to the train for school when I'm on my way to work and he works from home. So the kids like to shower the night before, I sometimes do too . DH drives me mad about this, he said he won't insist on me having early shower but wants the kids to have showered by 6pm!!! (they only get home at 5pm) The best shower is in our ensuite and he says he finds the bedroom is cold later on when window of ensuite is open. I'm curious to know if people agree with me or with him on this?!?!? By the way the expilair isn't enough for him to remove the steam, he wants the window fully open too to avoid mildew. He is generally a bit of a "monica from friends" type of person and in most cases I don't mind his tidyness etc but this drives me crazy, I don't think it's fair on the kids to be rushing them into the shower as soon as they are home plus i feel under pressure myself to have a super quick shower if having one at night!!

OP posts:
adomizo · 14/11/2023 19:35

He sounds so controlling. Have a shower within reason whenever you need.

imisscashmere · 14/11/2023 19:36

He’s being unreasonable, obviously. He can’t dictate when people shower. Tell
him that you and the kids will be showering when you please and he is welcome to faff about with windows and extractor fans afterwards as he sees fit. Honestly, life is too short not to take a shower when you want to!

EatYourVegetables · 14/11/2023 19:37

He can buy a dehumidifier.

RampantIvy · 14/11/2023 19:38

Leave the window open and close the door. Close the window when you get up

Or

Get a dehumidifier and run it after your shower. I can plug our dehumidifier in on the landing and put it in the bathroom.

greenacrylicpaint · 14/11/2023 19:39

get a ventilator.

FortunataTagnips · 14/11/2023 19:39

Who made him the boss of showers?

TeaKitten · 14/11/2023 19:40

By a dehumidifier and shower when you want. Your DH doesn’t get to control you, and you don’t want your sons learning that behaviour. Your DH would drive me nuts!

Busephalus · 14/11/2023 19:40

What's wrong with steam in the bathroom

RampantIvy · 14/11/2023 19:41

Busephalus · 14/11/2023 19:40

What's wrong with steam in the bathroom

Ultimately it will cause mould if there is no ventilation

BoxOfCats · 14/11/2023 19:46

Can't you just put a better extractor fan in the bathroom?

Nopenopenopenopenopenope · 14/11/2023 19:48

Compromise and use the shower in the bathroom and not the ensuite if you're going to shower in the evening. The window does need opening for a bit and a cold bedroom sounds shit.

OhmygodDont · 14/11/2023 19:49

I think the compromise is to use the family bathroom shower not the en-suite.

Turquoisa80 · 14/11/2023 19:50

You could shower and then dry the bathroom with a cloth afterwards

OddBoots · 14/11/2023 19:52

We have a shower squeegee and a kercher window vac and between the two I can clear most of the water from the walls and the base of the shower so the window doesn't need opening for long. Are those options for you?

ConstitutionHill · 14/11/2023 19:59

Get an electric blanket so he's not cold in the bedroom later on? You shower when you want. He is not the shower police.

Chipsahoyagain · 14/11/2023 20:00

What's wrong with having a shower at 6pm when they get in at 5? Especially if they're doing sports it's best to have the shower as soon as you get in? That's what we do? Then you can leave the window open for an hour and close when going to bed?

Curiosity101 · 14/11/2023 20:01

There's at least 3 solutions I'd consider before the suggestion he's made. And I can see PPs suggesting more than that.

  • Get a decent extractor
  • Get a dehumidifier
  • Close the bathroom door and get a draught excluder for the bottom of the door if you open the window. The cold will be limited to the bathroom then.
Pozz · 14/11/2023 20:03

Yes who made him the shower police?

Tell him you'll shower when you like. CF!

wesurecouldstandgladioli · 14/11/2023 20:03

Tell him if the steam/open window bothers him then he should stay in the living room until bedtime.

HE needs to change his actions, not the kids.

megletthesecond · 14/11/2023 20:08

Yanbu. We all shower in the evenings, although everyone has to be finished by 10pm. I am a bit obsessed about the windows being open for a while but shut before bedtime in the winter but it's not a great drama.
The ceiling went mouldy last winter when I wasn't as strict. There's a note on the bathroom door now to remind my teens.

Cosyblankets · 14/11/2023 20:08

Another option is he gets up earlier with the kids and they shower in the morning instead of him lying in bed

Meowandthen · 14/11/2023 20:11

“Insist”. Is he always this controlling? It’s your home too.

Cosycover · 14/11/2023 20:14

Fuck off is a complete sentence.

gamerchick · 14/11/2023 20:15

Tell him to knob off. What's he going to do, drag you out by your hair?

Panda89 · 14/11/2023 20:16

I have a shower around 10-11pm every night, in our en-suite!
Do you have a good extractor fan? I find with the fan running then I only need the window cracked for 10 mins to clear the room completely.

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