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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to have a shower in the evening?

69 replies

ShabbyChic999 · 14/11/2023 19:31

I'm cracking up.....my DH hates showers in the evening in winter as the bathroom gets steamy, the window needs to stay open and cold air is coming in. I see his point but I think flexibility is needed. My two kids and I get up really early, 2 hours earlier than DH!! As I drop the kids to the train for school when I'm on my way to work and he works from home. So the kids like to shower the night before, I sometimes do too . DH drives me mad about this, he said he won't insist on me having early shower but wants the kids to have showered by 6pm!!! (they only get home at 5pm) The best shower is in our ensuite and he says he finds the bedroom is cold later on when window of ensuite is open. I'm curious to know if people agree with me or with him on this?!?!? By the way the expilair isn't enough for him to remove the steam, he wants the window fully open too to avoid mildew. He is generally a bit of a "monica from friends" type of person and in most cases I don't mind his tidyness etc but this drives me crazy, I don't think it's fair on the kids to be rushing them into the shower as soon as they are home plus i feel under pressure myself to have a super quick shower if having one at night!!

OP posts:
fridaynight1 · 14/11/2023 20:16

He doesn’t get to tell you when you can or can’t have a shower.

zurala · 14/11/2023 20:17

You should use the other shower, it's horrible having a cold bedroom. That way you can all be happy, late showers and a warm bedroom. Why wouldn't you do this?

Wish23 · 14/11/2023 20:17

I’d recommend a window vac. You can use it after the shower to get some of the excess moisture off the shower screen/tiles/window etc so it shouldn’t need the window open as long.

MyLadyTheKingsMother · 14/11/2023 20:19

I too hate how soggy the bathroom gets with four people showering/bathing in a row.

However I wouldn't dream of telling anyone when they can shower.

How weird

TeaKitten · 14/11/2023 20:19

zurala · 14/11/2023 20:17

You should use the other shower, it's horrible having a cold bedroom. That way you can all be happy, late showers and a warm bedroom. Why wouldn't you do this?

It wouldn’t stop mildew or cold air in the other bathroom, and I doubt the kids are showering in her en suite. He doesn’t want any showers in the evening.

Fleetingname · 14/11/2023 20:22

Crikey I would not want to live with him!

ThelmaBorden · 14/11/2023 20:22

why isnt HE showering before bed?

Psychoticbreak · 14/11/2023 20:24

He would hate my house, I shower twice a day at any time I feel like it and we dont even have a window in the bathroom where the shower is.

Wexone · 14/11/2023 20:25

ha he would hate our house. husband showers every eve me every second window never ever open after us in evening except in summer time. extractor fan on door left open. no mould or mildew in 5 years so far

zurala · 14/11/2023 20:28

TeaKitten · 14/11/2023 20:19

It wouldn’t stop mildew or cold air in the other bathroom, and I doubt the kids are showering in her en suite. He doesn’t want any showers in the evening.

Show quote history

I read the OP as it being everyone using the en suite: "the best shower is in the en suite" but even so, if he doesn't want a cold bedroom the compromise is to use the main bathroom to shower. Why does he have to be cold when there's a solution that makes everyone happy?
He would definitely be unreasonable to say no evening showers at all, but I think there should be compromise.

Canisaysomething · 14/11/2023 20:30

Why are people saying to get an energy guzzling dehumidifier when opening the window will do? It’s almost like people have forgotten we need fresh air and ventilation to be able to breath. If the air is stale enough to create mould and mildew then fresh air needs to come in.

BurbageBrook · 14/11/2023 20:31

He's a control freak, OP. Is this the tip of the iceberg?

Rjahdhdvd · 14/11/2023 20:31

I get that it’s his preference but he doesn’t get to dictate that

GabriellaMontez · 14/11/2023 20:32

Is he a tosser in lots of other ways?

tulippa · 14/11/2023 20:32

I love an evening shower every so often. Open the window and close the door to the en-suite. The bedroom can't get that cold if you do this surely. I quite like a cold bedroom though and you don't really feel it once you're under the covers.

Swimeveryday · 14/11/2023 20:35

He is being unreasonable. Get him an electric blanket.

Lovemycat2023 · 14/11/2023 20:38

Do you need to have the window open for that long? We don’t have a fan, and have to open the window after a shower or bath. I do it as soon as I get out and then close it 20 min later (with the door closed for that period). Are you leaving it open all
night? I’m a bit confused!

Anywherebuthere · 14/11/2023 20:39

Have a shower when you want, then open the window and close the ensuite door?

Or use the main bathroom?

Iheartpizza · 14/11/2023 20:40

God I could not put up with that level of controlling behaviour. I'd tell him to piss off.

haribosmarties · 14/11/2023 20:41

Yeah he's being nuts. It's their home too. As long as its not going to wake anyone up due to it being so late mist people are in bed.. then your kids should be able to shower when they want to

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/11/2023 20:48

I think the essence of this is saying what your 'must haves' are and finding where you can exist.

Yours: evening showers, not rushing the children.

His: warm bedroom, no damp.

He wants to remove yours to meet his. No thanks. There are many ways of accommodating both. Find one.

Bertiesmum3 · 14/11/2023 20:49

We shower every night, I always have one straight before I go to bed, I dry the tiles/wall and bath after every shower and when I get out I leave the door open, it doesn’t make the rest of the house cold.

TeaKitten · 14/11/2023 20:51

Canisaysomething · 14/11/2023 20:30

Why are people saying to get an energy guzzling dehumidifier when opening the window will do? It’s almost like people have forgotten we need fresh air and ventilation to be able to breath. If the air is stale enough to create mould and mildew then fresh air needs to come in.

Because it’s winter and the DHs issue is opening the window and making it cold… dehumidifier is appropriate as a compromise.

TrackerBar · 14/11/2023 20:51

I use a karcher window vac, it's great for sucking up all the excess moisture quickly after a shower from the shower door, the windows and the floor.

witchypaws · 14/11/2023 20:52

I shower around 6-7pm and don't have a window. With the extractor fan on it's fully dry within an hour and that's with no window! He's being ridiculous, it's a home not a precious ornament