To want to have a shower in the evening?

[ShabbyChic999]

I'm cracking up.....my DH hates showers in the evening in winter as the bathroom gets steamy, the window needs to stay open and cold air is coming in. I see his point but I think flexibility is needed. My two kids and I get up really early, 2 hours earlier than DH!! As I drop the kids to the train for school when I'm on my way to work and he works from home. So the kids like to shower the night before, I sometimes do too . DH drives me mad about this, he said he won't insist on me having early shower but wants the kids to have showered by 6pm!!! (they only get home at 5pm) The best shower is in our ensuite and he says he finds the bedroom is cold later on when window of ensuite is open. I'm curious to know if people agree with me or with him on this?!?!? By the way the expilair isn't enough for him to remove the steam, he wants the window fully open too to avoid mildew. He is generally a bit of a "monica from friends" type of person and in most cases I don't mind his tidyness etc but this drives me crazy, I don't think it's fair on the kids to be rushing them into the shower as soon as they are home plus i feel under pressure myself to have a super quick shower if having one at night!!

There is an easy compromise, use the shower in the room that is not the en suite so the bedroom doesnt get cold
He is right that extractor fans really dont get rid of proper steam and condensation which will be exacerbated by this time of year

You are right that you should shower when convenient but in a way that doesnt make the bedroom cold and if you're lucky enough to have a different bathroom to use, use that

Wow so having now read the thread, predictable

If this was the other way round and OP was upset that her bedroom was cold and the husband could use another bathroom which didnt make the bedroom cold, it would be all 'he has no concern for you, he's showing how little he cares, he's showing you who he is' etc etc

Thanks everyone, your messages made me feel less unreasonable, less annoyed and lots of them really made me smile!!!! He is a lovely man a promise but he's certainly high maintenance as I tell him often!!! He would do anything for us in other ways but he likes order and efficiency and I suppose for him this is totally inefficient from a heat point of view (radiator on in bathroom and heat flying out the window!) I should also point out to be fair to him, the ceiling did turn quite black in patches from the mildew and he only painted it recently......I don't know what it is about our bathroom as other friends I've mentioned it to also said opening the window for 10 mins was plenty but we literally have the window open an hour after shower to get rid of the wet walls. The shower/window vac sounds interesting and might help.
We do all use the ensuite all the time as it's a power shower whereas the other bathroom is a weaker shower over a bath. But it's grand and it is a compromise to use that bathroom, though he'll still be conerned with mildew!!!
However I still stand by my argument that like some of you said, life is too short

He’s being unreasonable but you could an exhaust fan to get the air out.

Get the main bathroom upgraded for next winter. I wouldn’t want the whole house using a tiny en-suite permanently anyway.

New power shower and super extractor for the main bathroom.

I think it's getting so worked up about water in a bathroom that some of us find so unreasonable. We manage to bath or shower in our house at all sorts of times of day, without any problems at all.

Also worth trying the anti mould paint - we have an angled ceiling above the shower and it always get a bit of mould. You put it underneath the normal paint.

You are probably right!! But I love the community on here and it's a lovely feeling when people are so supportive! There's definitely an argument for both sides on this one and I know I'm at fault in some ways too, there's a compromise in there somewhere!😁

Tell him he needs to get up two hours earlier with you every day to enable you to shower while he takes care of the kids and does the morning routine. I’m sure he’d rethink his position pretty quickly once in his new routine.
Or you could explain that his behaviour is controlling and he may want to seek support to explore the possibility of ocd.

It's been suggested but buy a dehumidifier. I have ours running 24/7 during the colder months to avoid the issues you've mentioned. It also helps to have a squeegee in the shower to wipe everything down after you've finished.

He’s being a bit unreasonable, but if there’s mildew/mould I see his point!

Oh right - if you have another shower just use that. You get your shower, he isn’t cold - a shower is a shower

Does your en suite not have a door? I don’t understand why your bedroom gets cold if the window is ajar in the en suite?

He sounds a total knobhead to me.

Get a power shower installed in main bathroom. Cut back on whatever luxury he prefers to pay for it.

Just checked and mines a titan, not a karcher. Would have edited my other post but seems I can’t on my mobile.

^^ one the the above suggestions

Divorce him and then you and the kids can have a shower when you want. He sounds controlling tbh

Jesus Christ, he sounds controlling and petty. Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill. Ask him if he would he like his daily routine to be dictated by someone else for such trivial reasons. I'd start whacking the shower on at 3am just to irritate him further and give him something to actually complain about.

I shower any time I want to, with teh windows open (they're open all year) but thats because both of us are happy with that

Getting 'worked up' about water in a bathroom is no small thing when condensation and mould can damage houses and cause breathing problems