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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this weird to do during sex??

98 replies

blahblahblahxoxo · 02/10/2023 15:35

I'm an 18 year old girl who had sex for the first time recently with my boyfriend. He knew how nervous I was so made me feel super special.
He had already complained about using a condom so I was slightly wary. He wore one anyway and when we were having sex I think he slipped it off because when he finished the condom wasn't on him anymore and it was on the floor. He was as confused as me but I may be naive here. Help please!!!!

OP posts:
ReadingSoManyThreads · 02/10/2023 16:14

Please report him to the police.

43ontherocksporfavor · 02/10/2023 16:14

So sorry that this was your first experience. Hope you talk to your mum or a trusted adult. Get yourselves checked then get rid of him if you haven’t already. He doesn’t care about you.

Whatwouldscullydo · 02/10/2023 16:14

They can occasionally slip or come off. I had this a few months back. Difference was he immediately stopped and and sorted it out as neither of us had consented to condom free sex .

They certainly don't end up on the floor. That was done on purpose and that's not ok. Sorry this happened to you. Please dump this arsehole he cares nothing about you or he wouldn't have done this. Get yourself tested for everything and tell your mum for support. This wasn't your fault and you didn't do anything wrong 💐

olderthanyouthink · 02/10/2023 16:15

Oh and I've had a couple condoms slip off, DP new about it pretty instantly and I had to retrieve it from INSIDE myself, they don't go flying off!

justwatchingtelly · 02/10/2023 16:16

As all PP have said, this is NOT ok. It is rape. You did not consent to this. Please talk to your GP, get tested and dump this guy. He is not a keeper.

EandKDJ · 02/10/2023 16:17

Removing a condom without consent is classed as rape under English law. You need to report him, and get yourself to a sexual health clinic to check for STI's. I'm sorry this happened to you.

GuinnessBird · 02/10/2023 16:17

The fucker raped you, please go to the police.

Fiddlerdragon · 02/10/2023 16:18

MasterBeth · 02/10/2023 16:09

It is not good sexual behaviour to have unprotected sex.

However, it is absolutely possible for a condom to come off during sex, especially for a young couple who are not used to doing it.

Oh behave! In the entire history of the universe, a condom has come off of a man’s penis and fallen on the floor without him realising literally zero times. If the condom manages to slip off then the normal thing to do would be to stop sex immediately and inform your partner, not carry on and ejaculate in her and then play it down like it’s her being out of order! She could be pregnant or have an STD! The fact that he was such a dick about putting it on in the first place points to what sort of person he is.
Op I feel awful about some of these comments potentially leaving you traumatised. But the facts are that this man is a rapist, could be prosecuted if you press charges and belongs on the sex offenders list. At the very least get yourself checked out. And please don’t see him again. If he’s done this to you already then god knows what he has in store for later, this sort of behaviour escalates. You deserve better

MasterBeth · 02/10/2023 16:19

MasterBeth · 02/10/2023 16:09

It is not good sexual behaviour to have unprotected sex.

However, it is absolutely possible for a condom to come off during sex, especially for a young couple who are not used to doing it.

Surely that depends how they were having sex.

I don't wish to underplay the OP's experience but it cannot be true, as some on this thread have, that "he knows full well he’s removed a condom without your consent and had unprotected sex with you without your knowledge."

BarleySugars · 02/10/2023 16:21

Sorry OP, he's lying and you've been 'stealthed'. As said before condoms that come off don't go flying onto the floor and he would know :( you need morning after pill and an STD test as it's unlikely this is the first time he's done this. I was stealthed when young and trusting too.

MasterBeth · 02/10/2023 16:22

Fiddlerdragon · 02/10/2023 16:18

Oh behave! In the entire history of the universe, a condom has come off of a man’s penis and fallen on the floor without him realising literally zero times. If the condom manages to slip off then the normal thing to do would be to stop sex immediately and inform your partner, not carry on and ejaculate in her and then play it down like it’s her being out of order! She could be pregnant or have an STD! The fact that he was such a dick about putting it on in the first place points to what sort of person he is.
Op I feel awful about some of these comments potentially leaving you traumatised. But the facts are that this man is a rapist, could be prosecuted if you press charges and belongs on the sex offenders list. At the very least get yourself checked out. And please don’t see him again. If he’s done this to you already then god knows what he has in store for later, this sort of behaviour escalates. You deserve better

Show quote history

I am remembering my own clumsy early sexual experiences with condoms and absolutely recall my boyfriend losing his erection/losing the condom in me/in the bed/in our clothes. The OP hasn't described when/how he finished. She hasn't even said that he ejaculated inside her, for instance.

nutellacrepe · 02/10/2023 16:23

He would have known that it came off, OP. It feels extremely different for the man without a condom than with.

This was done on purpose.

At absolute best, he knew it came off and didn't bother to put it back on.

At worst, he took it off himself.

Either way, it's classed as rape.

Bromptotoo · 02/10/2023 16:27

Normal thing is to remove the condom quickly after ejaculation, before anything can leak as the penis loses its erection. Tie a knot in the open end and dispose. Chucking the knotted condom onto the floor while continuing post coital cuddles etc is sufficiently common as to be normal.

The idea it 'slipped off' and then fell onto the floor before he ejaculated and that he could not tell the difference is implausible in the extreme.

WallaceinAnderland · 02/10/2023 16:28

One of the main reasons men give for not wanting to use condoms is that it feels different so, yes, he definitely would have known it wasn't on.

BookSuperWorm · 02/10/2023 16:29

Agree with PP - Never have I experienced a condom falling off and it not (a) simply slipped a bit and the guy immediately could tell and pushed it further on; (b) fallen off and was inside me. Should also say, I think its only happened about 3 times in the 19yrs I've been having sex, so it's not a really regular thing to happen anyway.

The fact it was on the floor suggests he slipped it off and discarded it. Otherwise if it was a genuine accident it would be either inside you or right close where you were.

Lwrenagain · 02/10/2023 16:29

I'm so sorry this was your first experience. It didn't come off accidentally. Please don't see him again and go the doctors x

Lwrenagain · 02/10/2023 16:30

MasterBeth · 02/10/2023 16:19

Surely that depends how they were having sex.

I don't wish to underplay the OP's experience but it cannot be true, as some on this thread have, that "he knows full well he’s removed a condom without your consent and had unprotected sex with you without your knowledge."

Show quote history

@MasterBeth pls shush.

margegunderson · 02/10/2023 16:31

I used condoms for years. On the rare occasions they weren't firmly on my partner at the end they were dangling out of me. Not on the floor. Absolutely not an accident and please don't feel bad for believing him - you didn't have the experience to know.

FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 02/10/2023 16:35

He’s broken the first rule of any relationship which is trust.

Also raped you and gaslighted you.

EBearhug · 02/10/2023 16:36

I agree - if a condom comes off, it's most likely to end up inside of you, and it's rare for it to happen, although less rare if alcohol is involved.

TheShellBeach · 02/10/2023 16:37

Have you had a period since?

Pudmyboy · 02/10/2023 16:39

MasterBeth · 02/10/2023 16:09

It is not good sexual behaviour to have unprotected sex.

However, it is absolutely possible for a condom to come off during sex, especially for a young couple who are not used to doing it.

But not for it to end up on the floor!!!
They either split/burst or roll off into the vagina, they end up on the floor if he takes it off and drops it there. He is taking advantage of the OP's naïvety to assault her by having condomless sex when the agreement was to use a condom

Barleysugar86 · 02/10/2023 16:39

I've had this once. Finished to find the condom on the floor. Casual hook up guy freely admitted that he'd taken it off because it was 'bothering him'. He'd been very against wearing one before we started as well, I think some men agree thinking they'll just take it off mid shag.

Agree there is no way a condom comes off without it being inside you. I've had this happen. The only time it was on the floor it was very intentional.

Sugargliderwombat · 02/10/2023 16:41

pinkfondu · 02/10/2023 15:37

Yes it is possible he did that, and if he did this counts as rape as sex was conditional on him wearing one.

It's not just possible, he did do it. When EVER has a condom slipped off without a man noticing? Never.

jazzyfips · 02/10/2023 16:43

He raped you. I’m sorry you went through that.