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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he shouldn't be annoyed by a seaside trip

63 replies

User9876541 · 15/08/2023 17:13

I have some time off this summer holidays but husband can't take anymore time off. My SIL is taking her 2 kids to the seaside for a few days and has invited me and 2 kids to go along with my Mum.
Husband really isn't happy and is saying he doesn't want kids to go, he doesn't care if I do though.
He says he will miss out seeing them when he comes home from work.
We are talking a 3 night trip.
AIBU to think this shouldn't be an issue and he should be happy kids are getting a nice trip?

OP posts:
TotalDramarama · 15/08/2023 17:15

Yanbu. Wtf? Very weird of your dh.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 15/08/2023 17:15

WTF child free time and he’s saying no ? OMG he should grab it with both hands

Patchworksack · 15/08/2023 17:15

He’s being a misery - why would he begrudge the kids a few nice days at the beach?

thorneyislanddoris · 15/08/2023 17:16

What a selfish arse. YANBU

LivingDeadGirlUK · 15/08/2023 17:16

So what will the kids do while he is at work?

gamerchick · 15/08/2023 17:17

He wants you to just leave them behind on their own while he works?Hmm or does he just not want to fend for himself?

id just go anyway. Kids love the seaside and it's not for long.

IAmKenough · 15/08/2023 17:22

What sort of weirdo doesn't jump at the chance of a few child free days?! Yes, you should take them. It sounds fun and nicer for a few days than home normality.

Curseofthenation · 15/08/2023 17:26

I could be wrong but he sounds manipulative. It's as if he knows that you're not going to go on the trip without the kids and therefore is saying 'no' to you all going without looking as controlling. I would crack on, he can suck it up for the sake of his kids.

TakeMe2Insanity · 15/08/2023 17:28

What’s his reason? It’s only a couple of nights!

Weatherwax134 · 15/08/2023 17:29

Curseofthenation · 15/08/2023 17:26

I could be wrong but he sounds manipulative. It's as if he knows that you're not going to go on the trip without the kids and therefore is saying 'no' to you all going without looking as controlling. I would crack on, he can suck it up for the sake of his kids.

I agree- it sounds very passive aggressive to me. Should you all just sit at home in silence awaiting his return from work??? YNBU and you should be able to go on a nice couple of days away without being made to feel unreasonable.

FuzzHair · 15/08/2023 17:29

What other controlling things does he do?

ItsFunToBeAVampire · 15/08/2023 17:29

Sounds like he thinks you won't leave the kids and therefore won't go. I'd call his bluff and go without them and let him deal with it.

SoftFootballSkills · 15/08/2023 17:29

He sounds jealous and needy. He doesn't want you all to have fun without him. I would find this very unattractive, but then I'm an independent type.

In your shoes I would crack on, enjoy the trip and ignore the grump.

keepingsanity · 15/08/2023 17:30

That's rather controlling and a little odd. Is it the spend he's worried about?

Lkahsvtv · 15/08/2023 17:32

Its depressing that he thinks of himself before the kids; I’ve recently done the same and my DH missed the kids but was glad they were having fun

Original poster
User9876541 · 15/08/2023 17:33

No nothing to do with money SIL's mum has a house and I would cover everything we spend there.
Yes I agree very subtle but its controlling isn't it.
He would miss a couple of hours a day!

OP posts:
Comedycook · 15/08/2023 17:34

Definitely controlling and emotional blackmail.

Comedycook · 15/08/2023 17:36

Is sil his sister or your brothers wife?

I'm wondering if he's trying to distance you from your family?

Original poster
User9876541 · 15/08/2023 17:37

My brothers wife. Yes I think that's a possibility

OP posts:
almostoverthehill · 15/08/2023 17:37

Tough shit, enjoy OP

Jeschara · 15/08/2023 17:39

Just go, the truth is he does not want you and the children enjoying yourselves without him. It's not your fault he cannot get time off from work.
He is jealous, controlling and manipulative. Me, Me, Me, I will miss the children, no mention of their enjoyment though.
He sounds thoroughly unattractive and selfish.

VibrantGreen · 15/08/2023 17:42

I’d still go, he’ll get over it!

It does sound like he doesn’t want you to go, rather than missing the DC for a couple of nights!

The DC will love it, he’s been selfish and putting his needs first!

10HailMarys · 15/08/2023 17:42

He’s being a selfish dickhead.

He doesn’t even care about missing the kids, I bet. He just resents you being able to do something nice.

Is he often weird about you doing anything without him, or spending time with your family (I’m putting my last quid on the SIL being on your side of the family, but correct me if I’m wrong).

VibrantGreen · 15/08/2023 17:42

*being

Tinkerbyebye · 15/08/2023 17:45

It’s fear of missing out and nothing to do with the kids

go