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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he shouldn't be annoyed by a seaside trip

63 replies

User9876541 · 15/08/2023 17:13

I have some time off this summer holidays but husband can't take anymore time off. My SIL is taking her 2 kids to the seaside for a few days and has invited me and 2 kids to go along with my Mum.
Husband really isn't happy and is saying he doesn't want kids to go, he doesn't care if I do though.
He says he will miss out seeing them when he comes home from work.
We are talking a 3 night trip.
AIBU to think this shouldn't be an issue and he should be happy kids are getting a nice trip?

OP posts:
Campervangirl · 15/08/2023 17:46

He's an idiot, go and enjoy yourself 😎

Cosycover · 15/08/2023 17:46

Are you going?

Luana1 · 15/08/2023 17:48

How are you supposed to go away but leave the kids behind when he'll be at work all day? If this is a one off then I'd just roll my eyes and get on with packing for the trip, but if this is part of a wider pattern of controlling behaviour I would be packing his bags for him and telling him to leave.

Comedycook · 15/08/2023 17:49

You should definitely go....most dad's would be thrilled to have a few childfree days and be pleased their kids were getting a mini break.

calmcoco · 15/08/2023 17:50

That's awfully controlling.

I would miss mine but would want them to go. My missing them would come second to them having a holiday with their other parent.

similarminimer · 15/08/2023 17:54

You could point out that he is putting his own needs and wants ahead of the children's and ask him to justify that (assuming they would like to go). What an arse.

MinnieMountain · 15/08/2023 18:01

Leave them at home and go away for a weekend alone once you’re back from the seaside. Then he’ll see plenty of them.

EveryOtherNameTaken · 15/08/2023 18:04

Just go. The three of you are just having a normal enjoyable short break as you deserve.
He's just going to have to put up with his own miserable self for a bit 😂

Have a lovely time!

HaPPy8 · 15/08/2023 18:06

Who will look after the children if you go alone?

Poorlymumma · 15/08/2023 18:06

Yanbu. I have a health condition which means I have to miss out on days out with my child all the time, his grandparents will take him out, or my partner (his dad) with friends without me. It sucks for me but it means my child gets to experience lovely things. Your husband is being selfish.

MsRosley · 15/08/2023 18:09

Tell him to grow the fuck up.

ElleEmmDee · 15/08/2023 18:11

My husband would miss us but he’d be delighted that our daughter was going to have such a nice time. It wouldn’t even cross his mind to ask us to stay home. If anything, he’d be concerned about me having to do all the childcare whilst on the trip, and would pick up the baton on that when we got back so that I could have some ‘time to myself’ too.
I’m sorry that your husband is only thinking of himself. You and the kids deserve better.

Dropthedonkey · 15/08/2023 18:13

A good man would put his kids first.
I assume they would rather go to the seaside?

Thelonelygiraffe · 15/08/2023 18:15

Controlling twat. I'd go.

JanieEyre · 15/08/2023 18:16

If he's happy for you to go but not the kids, how does he propose to look after them while he's away?

He's being ridiculous and very mean to the children.

ATerrorofLeftovers · 15/08/2023 18:16

Ask him what kind of a selfish wanker he thinks puts his own feelings ahead of his children’s enjoyment.

whatever the answer, go regardless, and tell him you know Ethan, once he’s thinking straight, you know he’ll just be happy his children are having a fun short break (like any normal dad).

MrsMigginsPies · 15/08/2023 18:17

What kind of parent deprives their DC of a fun holiday away for 3 day?
A selfish one.

What an arse.

thistimelastweek · 15/08/2023 18:18

Please don't give in to this. It's emotional blackmail for god knows what reason.

What sort of bloke would want his family to miss out on s few days' fun? A selfish needy tossery bloke that's who.

pictoosh · 15/08/2023 18:19

Fgs what a selfish bastard...would see his kids miss out just so he can call the shots.
Definitely go.

SequinsandStiIettos · 15/08/2023 18:22

Begrudging you going away with your family?
Giving him free time to do whatever he wants?

Nowt as queer as folk. Most would jump at it.

spitefulandbadgrammar · 15/08/2023 18:27

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 15/08/2023 17:15

WTF child free time and he’s saying no ? OMG he should grab it with both hands

Seriously! OP you can take my kids if you want, if DH doesn’t want yours to go.

NoWayRose · 15/08/2023 18:37

Three days of wholesome outdoor fun for the kids facilitated by someone else while he relaxes? My DH would bite my arm off so hard I’d be left with a bloody stump!

What other weirdo controlling stuff has he done?

JudgeRudy · 15/08/2023 18:40

Yes I wondered that. I also wondered if he mistakingly thought OP wouldn't go without them....so not go. I'd call his bluff and say OK. I'd also tell him he needs to share his plans with the children so they know what treats he has in store for them!

toomuchlaundry · 15/08/2023 18:42

I’m sure there are some mums who don’t like it when their kids are away from them. If they said they would miss them would they be seen as controlling?

Is this a pattern of his behaviour?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 15/08/2023 18:43

I'd be buckling my kids and dh into the car and starting the engine for them.

How can he be so selfish a father that him seeing the kids for a couple of hours those evenings overrides the amazing time they'll have at the seaside!!

Just go with them, what's he gonna do? Block the door?