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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the way you look in photos...

107 replies

Fillyfrog · 19/04/2023 23:40

Is the way you look to everyone in real life?

I recently learnt in therapy that what you see in the mirror isn't what other people see, at all. They see a reverse image, so they see you as what you look like in photographs.

Been reading this article and it seems to confirm it. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.huffpost.com/entry/selfies-vs-the-mirror-face_n_5a4faf77e4b01e1a4b14cdf9/amp

I know it sounds stupid but I can't stop thinking about it. What if you always look awful in photos?! I can't work out if I'm understanding it wrong and could do with some other opinions 🙈

So THAT’S Why We Look So Different In Selfies vs. The Mirror

If you've ever asked yourself, "Why does my face look crooked in pictures?" you should definitely read this.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.huffpost.com/entry/selfies-vs-the-mirror-face_n_5a4faf77e4b01e1a4b14cdf9/amp

OP posts:
DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 20/04/2023 11:44

Bassetlover · 20/04/2023 11:29

Seeing myself on camera in work Teams meetings during lockdown totally destroyed what little self confidence I had, I look like Jabba the Hut.

It will be one of the worst angles, second only to the forward facing phone camera. Does anyone on Teams look like they do, really?

lemonsugarsnap · 20/04/2023 12:45

I read somewhere that the reason you look better (to yourself) in the mirror is because you are unconsciously making yourself more attractive by adjusting the way you're standing, your facial expression etc. in a photo you don't know what you look like at the time so unless you know how to pose you will think you look horrible in photos compared to the mirror.

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 20/04/2023 13:11

lemonsugarsnap · 20/04/2023 12:45

I read somewhere that the reason you look better (to yourself) in the mirror is because you are unconsciously making yourself more attractive by adjusting the way you're standing, your facial expression etc. in a photo you don't know what you look like at the time so unless you know how to pose you will think you look horrible in photos compared to the mirror.

A photo will also catch you at angles you simply can't see yourself at.

Truestorypeeps · 20/04/2023 15:37

TheYearOfSmallThings · 20/04/2023 09:42

Don't feel like that - remember other people have always seen you from outside, and they are absolutely fine with it. It is like when you hear your voice recorded and think "What the fuck?! Why do I sound like Ryanair cabin crew?!" because your voice sounds different from inside your ears when you are speaking. But other people have always heard the version you hear recorded, and it sounds totally normal to them.

Show quote history

Oh my god, when I hear my voice played back 😆😆😆 hate, hate, hate it

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 20/04/2023 15:41

You get more reverb from your voice in your own head so it sounds richer than it does to others. That's also why so many people who sing in the shower think they're good singer. Great acoustics in there, easy to fill the space, and the sound of water hides a lot of roughness!

But however it looks and sounds to you on record, if people aren't running away in horror, then you are unlikely to look or sound as bad as you think.

Mumsday · 20/04/2023 16:22

Thepeopleversuswork · 20/04/2023 00:01

I’m horrifically unphotogenic. I’m no great beauty: average looks but scrub up well and I’m attractive because I’m animated and smile a lot so not insecure about my looks.

But by God when I see myself in photos a part of me dies. I swear I can’t look that bad.

This is exactly me. I’m considered attractive and I get attention from men (not in the street, but from men I know) so I must be alright.

But I don’t get it because in photos I look AWFUL.

Gwenhwyfar · 20/04/2023 17:24

"I read somewhere that the reason you look better (to yourself) in the mirror is because you are unconsciously making yourself more attractive by adjusting the way you're standing, your facial expression etc. "

I don't even look at myself straight on, I just concentrate on what I need to look at to eg put makeup on.

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