to be sick to death of wanky language?!

[PyongyangKipperbang]

Late shift so cant sleep and this has been bugging me.

Loads of examples I am sure but the two that are currently pissing me off is "curating" and "sourcing".

When did "buy new clothes" become "curate a fresh wardrobe". I do not curate, I am not a curator. I need clothes, I buy clothes, I wear clothes. End of. Also clothes do no go off, they go out of fashion but if that is the case then you are buying the wrong clothes, timeless classics never go out of fashion. You do not need "fresh" clothes.

When did "going to do the big shop" become "sourcing ingedients". Has anyone ever said "I am going to Tesco to source our ingredients"? Have they fuck! If I am making stew or salad or lasagne or.....dog shit on toast (an option I have occassionally offered the kids when they were pissing me off about dinner options) I will go shopping and buy what I need. I do not "source" beef and vegetables, or lettuce or bloody pasta. I will concede that the dog shit may need more in the way of sourcing.

You need stuff. You buy stuff. Why the need for bullshit language to make this boring life task into an "experience".....actually that's another one, I didnt "experience" a restaurant or a stately home or whatever, I visited it.

Now I cant sleep even more because venting has made me more angry!

A black trouser and a red lip always crack me right up. I just envisage someone with half a pair of trousers on, their other naked leg clearly visibly, with lipstick smeared across their upper lip and nothing on the bottom.

I hate “reach out” with the fire of a million suns. If you are not in the Four Tops, don’t say it.

(My colleagues say it constantly. Aaargh!)

They would look like zombies, mindless sheep just following the crowd . . . . Oh wait . . 🤔

No one talks about a red nail though.

@babybunny123

Genre is the correct term.

Ah you need to "read the room" and join in the "team bonding session" here - we are all having a lovely ranty moan so join in or "exit the experience"

"Gifting" makes me hoick my not inconsiderable bosom like Les Dawson.

I dislike being a customer on TfL, I think I am a passenger.

Jogging involves having one foot on a surface at all times. Running is when both feet are occasionally off the surface together. So they are different things. Although, the way I do it, running is not necessarily faster than jogging.

Adante57 I feel your pain. But do reach out if you feel the need to emote 😃😃

FOAD37

I've looked it up in my 1967 OUD and it's not there, although there are numerous derivatives.

Baby daddy/mummy
Onboarding
'He bahaved so bad' where have all the ly s gone?

I see people all the time writing “bias” instead of biased and “so I text him/her” instead of I texted him/her.

I did a presentation at work the other day and one of the delegates emailed me to say it was really good.

I actually replied that it was my 1st presentation so it was great to receive such positive feedback and to know that it "landed".....I sent it and read it back to myself...

I subsequently stabbed myself in the eye with my BIC, threw up and punched myself in the face very hard and made a promise to myself to never use such words ever again!

"Landed" what a tosser! 😕

And texies rather than texts. "She sent me some texies."

Making memories
My truth. Oh shut up.
Men going about fist bumping each other in the workplace.

Batch cooking. Basically freezing a load of Bolognese etc.

I came across "nourish bowl" the other day on a fitness app. 😩 it was a salad.

Making memories just edges out one my hated wank speak, Quality time.

Change room.

No, it's changing room!

Advanced notice. That's more illiterate than wanky, though. You never see Beginners' level notice, do you?

In some cases, autocorrect swallows them up. I'm sure I typed 'wrongly' in a post today but when I posted, it said 'wrong'. Harrumph.

I've just seen a Fb post from a local hotel inviting me to enjoy a "bespoke thermal journey".

Means use the sauna and steam rooms.

Wankers.

Forever home. Too ootsie cutesie for me.

I have the word cute to describe things, puppies,kittens , and babies etc are cute
A t shirt is not.

Reward instead of salary.

Passionate - used to describe anything other than bedroom activities.

I opened a tin of carrots yesterday which said 'Vegan 🌱' on it

It's CARROTS

OF COURSE IT'S FUCKING VEGAN