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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why this missing girl hasn't been in the news?

106 replies

BorisJohnsonsHair · 15/02/2023 21:05

news.sky.com/story/mariama-kallon-police-launch-appeal-to-find-13-year-old-girl-missing-from-home-in-london-12811846

Really hope she's found soon

OP posts:
user40643 · 15/02/2023 23:34

there’s always one…….
One what sorry?
There's tons of white people that can't accept their privilege. A thread about a missing black woman and they take it over with excuses about why it can't possibly be racism. It's sad. Very sad.

Sometimes I think, 'I wish I was that privileged' but I don't.

user40643 · 15/02/2023 23:35

I might create a bingo.

  1. She is in the news. ✅
  2. It isn't constructive to mention racism. ✅
  3. There's alesys one. ✅
  4. Whataboutery ✅✅✅
alexdgr8 · 15/02/2023 23:35

i saw about this on the tv, itv news yesterday and today.
maybe the family didn't want it broadcast earlier; could be embarrassing.
let's hope she's safe home soon.

leithreas · 15/02/2023 23:44

user40643 · 15/02/2023 23:35

I might create a bingo.

  1. She is in the news. ✅
  2. It isn't constructive to mention racism. ✅
  3. There's alesys one. ✅
  4. Whataboutery ✅✅✅

At least your having fun laughing and playing bingo on a thread about a missing girl. I'm glad it's brightened up your evening.

user40643 · 15/02/2023 23:47

@leithreas Oh, it's not fun to see a fellow black girl shut down by white people. What is fun is the excuses that come with it.

leithreas · 15/02/2023 23:51

user40643 · 15/02/2023 23:47

@leithreas Oh, it's not fun to see a fellow black girl shut down by white people. What is fun is the excuses that come with it.

Hey, if turning a thread about a missing girl into a game is what does it for you who are we to judge. Different strokes and all that ✌

user40643 · 15/02/2023 23:52

I'd rather it turned into making the privileged look silly than be full of comments of white people denying racism.

If you're so concerned perhaps you can all leave the thread and let the poor black girl have her time, you won't of course, your pride is more important.

PuttingOnTheKitsch · 16/02/2023 00:28

user40643 · 15/02/2023 23:52

I'd rather it turned into making the privileged look silly than be full of comments of white people denying racism.

If you're so concerned perhaps you can all leave the thread and let the poor black girl have her time, you won't of course, your pride is more important.

"let the poor black girl have her time"

Her time?

It's not the X factor. I doubt she'd care that people are using her to point score on a parenting website.

As for Nicola Bulley, she is almost certainly dead and now the police are smearing her name in the national press. That's not really a privileged position.

A quick look at children missing in London shows a disproportionate number of Vietnamese young people listed. Why aren't you concerned about them?

www.missingpeople.org.uk/appeal-search

SkySmiler · 16/02/2023 00:32

You know why, we all do

user40643 · 16/02/2023 00:32

Another tick for whataboutery. ✅

user40643 · 16/02/2023 00:35

It's a complete mystery why these posters don't post the same whataboutery on the, what is it, 10 threads now? About Nicola. Complete and utter mystery. The mind does indeed boggle.

leithreas · 16/02/2023 00:57

PuttingOnTheKitsch · 16/02/2023 00:28

"let the poor black girl have her time"

Her time?

It's not the X factor. I doubt she'd care that people are using her to point score on a parenting website.

As for Nicola Bulley, she is almost certainly dead and now the police are smearing her name in the national press. That's not really a privileged position.

A quick look at children missing in London shows a disproportionate number of Vietnamese young people listed. Why aren't you concerned about them?

www.missingpeople.org.uk/appeal-search

I was just saying to dh tonight how awful that is. She has children too who will no doubt hear all about it in the school yard, they have opened up a big can of worms there. People still deserve some privacy and respect when they are missing. I know lots of people are talking about this but there is no need for the police of all people to feed them.

Redglitter · 16/02/2023 01:00

and who decides who is "missing"? Some one can report someone missing, and they are not missing, the police know where they are, but keep it confidential, so everyone thinks that person is still missing

Lots of people want to report someone as missing but they get assessed initially when the call comes in and a decision is made as to whether they're being classed as missing or not & what grading they are

If the police know where they are - as happens often - they'll tell the person making the report that they know where the person is & they're safe but won't divulge anything else

Itll not be left that everyone still thinks they're missing. Noone outwith the police might know where they are but the police will always say they've been traced

Johnisafckface · 16/02/2023 01:36

ReignBeauDash · 15/02/2023 21:09

She hasn't been in the news because

a) it's not the first time she's gone missing, so it's not out of character or suspicious
b) she's been sighted twice so it's not thought she's come to any harm
c) she's not white and blonde (appalling that this affects coverage but unfortunately true)

This. Especially C. Where I live blonde white girls get extreme coverage but little black girls either get “looked over” or just a blip in the news. Unfortunately that’s just how it is.

JMSA · 16/02/2023 04:24

Poor wee soul. School seems to be the stable thing in her life, so it has gone to pot during the holiday Sad

Cheekymaw · 16/02/2023 04:56

OP we all know why she isn't all over the news ; because she is black and working class. Poor wee soul. She is only 13 and it sounds like school is a big worry for her and she feels unable to stay at home even during half term, for whatever reason. She is so vulnerable. It is really appalling that because she has went missing before and has been seen during this episode ,she is felt to be less high risk. She could be with anyone !

30yearsYounger · 16/02/2023 05:40

I think the unhealthy level of obsession Nicola Bulley’s case has created is valid reason for missing people to be given less news coverage.

And the reason why the police had to divulge her vulnerabilities was because the press had already got hold of the information and were about to publish it.

The only people responsible for this extensive coverage which has resulted in a woman’s private information being plastered all over the media is her family, who knew about her struggles, and who stood up in the press, gave interviews, made documentaries, set up gofundme’s, swore blind that this was out of character while informing the police that she needed to be classed as a vulnerable missing person.

This girl is hopefully safe, if she’s vulnerable then it’s likely she’s vulnerable because of the situation she’s run away from not the situation she’s run to.

Nimbostratus100 · 16/02/2023 05:42

user40643 · 16/02/2023 00:35

It's a complete mystery why these posters don't post the same whataboutery on the, what is it, 10 threads now? About Nicola. Complete and utter mystery. The mind does indeed boggle.

If you mean by this, why, on the threads about Nicola Bulley, the thousands of other missing people arent mentioned, I think you will find that they are.

Just listening to a "spokesperson" about Nicola Bulley on LBC, who said exactly the same - thousands of people are missing, this one has gone viral, largely because of internet conspiracy theories.

so now we have

"Why isnt this girl on the news?" - she is

"Why isnt she on the news more than missing white girls?" - she is

"Why arnt thousands of other missing people mentioned in the context of Nicola Bulley?"- they are

"Why are people so racist that they answer these questions?"
in what way are they racist?
" In such a way as they are too stupid to understand, and only I, with my "special" point of view, am morally superior enough to be able to simply say "racist" and the word self evidently stands,"

( based on wild unfounded assumptions that I am of an ethnic origin more attuned to racism than the people I am talking to, without even knowing the ethnic origin of the people I am talking to, in many cases)

Why dont we talk about what we can do for these thousands of missing girls of all ethnic origins, instead of trying to use of of them to shore up some sort of ethereal victim status in ourselves, which just has no place here?

Nimbostratus100 · 16/02/2023 05:44

Cheekymaw · 16/02/2023 04:56

OP we all know why she isn't all over the news ; because she is black and working class. Poor wee soul. She is only 13 and it sounds like school is a big worry for her and she feels unable to stay at home even during half term, for whatever reason. She is so vulnerable. It is really appalling that because she has went missing before and has been seen during this episode ,she is felt to be less high risk. She could be with anyone !

yet she is in the news, and more so than THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of other missing 13 year olds, of all social demographics, of all ethnic origins, of both sexes.

BeakyMinder · 16/02/2023 05:58

Because society doesn't gives a s**t about vulnerable black girls and sees it as normal /expected/not preventable when they disappear. TV doesn't bother to report much, if at all, because viewing figures are low.

Opposite applies to older white women with social status (family, professional job etc). This seems shocking & unexpected to many people. So the media piles in cos they know they will get loads of views. And we all get given the impression of a massive emergency operation which may not necessarily align with reality.

Irony is that, because of reporting restrictions, us armchair detectives can't know which missing person cases are genuinely shocking/unexpected. People make assumptions based on age, class & race that turn out not to be true.

Lostthefairytale · 16/02/2023 06:15

It is possible to accept that there are reporting biases and racism within the media without accepting that this is an example if it. By arguing about these two specific cases you invalidate the racism allegation because the cases are so different in so many ways. Lots of people live in a bubble and don't realise how many vulnerable children are missing at anyone time. For me the bias in these cases is more related to class although race definitely has an element. I'm surprised this case is getting any national press at all because the situation isn't unusual and national press is unlikely to help as she seems likely to have stayed within her local area.

Nimbostratus100 · 16/02/2023 06:26

Lostthefairytale · 16/02/2023 06:15

It is possible to accept that there are reporting biases and racism within the media without accepting that this is an example if it. By arguing about these two specific cases you invalidate the racism allegation because the cases are so different in so many ways. Lots of people live in a bubble and don't realise how many vulnerable children are missing at anyone time. For me the bias in these cases is more related to class although race definitely has an element. I'm surprised this case is getting any national press at all because the situation isn't unusual and national press is unlikely to help as she seems likely to have stayed within her local area.

very sensible post

Suzi888 · 16/02/2023 06:29

BorisJohnsonsHair · 15/02/2023 21:19

For all those saying "you've linked to the news" ... She's been missing for 6 days and until today there's been nothing in the mainstream media.

Whether she has run away or not she is only 13 years old and very vulnerable.

People have stated why. She keeps running away from home AND she’s been sighted.

FannyChmelar · 16/02/2023 06:46

Not a lot of press interest because most people can’t relate.

NOTANUM · 16/02/2023 07:55

My DC’s classmate also went missing and it was awful. It was all over the SM for their school and the parents asked us to grill our kids.
There was no publicity at all and if relevant, she was white. The police don’t prioritise kids who voluntarily go missing as they usually walk back in.
This child sounds very vulnerable and someone is hiding her if she is changing her clothes.