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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Women keep asking my DH for hugs

80 replies

Slavetomytoddlers · 11/12/2022 00:01

Slightly lighthearted.

Home from a night out with my DH where a woman approached him in the bar and asked if she could give him a hug. He politely declined. I was right near him, talking to a friend (we were out with a small group), but didn’t feel the need to say/do anything- he handled it well.

This happens regularly. Not every week, but certainly several times a year.

For some context, my DH has autism and doesn’t really like people in his personal space so I’m quite confident that he’s not hugging women when I’m not around. He’s definitely not a flirt so I’m also certain that he’s not given some form of subtle come on.

I’ve seen it so many times. Literally a woman (typically seems to be mid to late-twenties) will come over and say something like “I know this is weird but I just wanted to come over and give you a hug”.

Is this a thing that women of that age group do now on a night out?

My friend was agog.

OP posts:
pigonalipstick · 11/12/2022 00:01

Does he look very sad?!

Howabsolutelyfanfuckingtastic · 11/12/2022 00:03

How strange, this isn't a thing as far as i know 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

Patronus · 11/12/2022 00:04

Not aware of this phenomenon and never seen it.

MammaWeasel · 11/12/2022 00:04

If he's not making much eye çontact some women might feel that he's safer to approach, maybe?

poefaced · 11/12/2022 00:04

This happens regularly. Not every week, but certainly several times a year.

Er, yeah sure.

Weird proxy brag.

Boobingtons · 11/12/2022 00:05

pigonalipstick · 11/12/2022 00:01

Does he look very sad?!

😁

Sorry, just have a mental image of everyone feeling sorry for him as he cries into a pint!

No, usually fairly smiley or neutral expression. When the woman tonight came up to him, he was chatting to a friend about the football (we’re not English so no sad face there) so was pretty happy.

JoyBeorge · 11/12/2022 00:06

Is there anything he is giving off signal wise that he isn't aware of? Something about his manner perhaps? Clearly he is noticeable if it happens that often.

fifteenohfour · 11/12/2022 00:07

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Katnissx · 11/12/2022 00:09

Do you think the women might be using it as a way to flirt? What does he say back just no thanks?! 🤣 Has he asked why they want to hug him?

Boobingtons · 11/12/2022 00:10

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Feel free to report my post if you have concerns.

Boobingtons · 11/12/2022 00:12

Katnissx · 11/12/2022 00:09

Do you think the women might be using it as a way to flirt? What does he say back just no thanks?! 🤣 Has he asked why they want to hug him?

Tonight he gave a very neutral “oh, I’m not really much of a hugger” and kind of stepped back.

Is this how younger women flirt now? It sounds like tough work!

DisneyPrincesss · 11/12/2022 00:12

Is he super tall and broad?

blubberyboo · 11/12/2022 00:17

I think a lot of women are attracted to men who give a stand offish uninterested vibe.

OhThatChicken · 11/12/2022 00:17

Have you had a name change fail there @Boobingtons / @Slavetomytoddlers ?

Slavetomytoddlers · 11/12/2022 00:20

OhThatChicken · 11/12/2022 00:17

Have you had a name change fail there @Boobingtons / @Slavetomytoddlers ?

Yes!

There may have been a few gins earlier 😂

OP posts:
Slavetomytoddlers · 11/12/2022 00:21

DisneyPrincesss · 11/12/2022 00:12

Is he super tall and broad?

Not hugely broad, but definitely tall.

OP posts:
S1984 · 11/12/2022 00:29

Could it be maybe that they feel unsafe where they are / want to get rid of an admirer so want to pretend they know him? Maybe they chose him as he is approachable.. My partner is similar and lots say they can tell he isn't a creep and a good guy so feel at ease asking for help

Luredbyapomegranate · 11/12/2022 00:31

pigonalipstick · 11/12/2022 00:01

Does he look very sad?!

😂🥲

CellarBellaatemycoal · 11/12/2022 00:45

Does he have a beard and nice jumpers?

DisneyPrincesss · 11/12/2022 00:50

Slavetomytoddlers · 11/12/2022 00:21

Not hugely broad, but definitely tall.

The only time I've ever asked for a hug from a man i didn't know, he was big tall and broad and just looked like he could envelop me.

I would never do this to a man i fancied, if that makes you feel better.

Slavetomytoddlers · 11/12/2022 00:54

CellarBellaatemycoal · 11/12/2022 00:45

Does he have a beard and nice jumpers?

A jolly expression and walks around everywhere carrying a big black sack of presents.

OP posts:
fifteenohfour · 11/12/2022 00:54

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QS90 · 11/12/2022 01:18

Are the women on e? That's the only time I've seen this type of thing. Then it seems to happen a lot!

kittensinthekitchen · 11/12/2022 01:32

MammaWeasel · 11/12/2022 00:04

If he's not making much eye çontact some women might feel that he's safer to approach, maybe?

Where did the OP say anything about eye contact?? Confused

ElizabethBest · 11/12/2022 01:44

Picturing a human Eeyore here….