Women keep asking my DH for hugs

[Slavetomytoddlers]

Slightly lighthearted.

Home from a night out with my DH where a woman approached him in the bar and asked if she could give him a hug. He politely declined. I was right near him, talking to a friend (we were out with a small group), but didn’t feel the need to say/do anything- he handled it well.

This happens regularly. Not every week, but certainly several times a year.

For some context, my DH has autism and doesn’t really like people in his personal space so I’m quite confident that he’s not hugging women when I’m not around. He’s definitely not a flirt so I’m also certain that he’s not given some form of subtle come on.

I’ve seen it so many times. Literally a woman (typically seems to be mid to late-twenties) will come over and say something like “I know this is weird but I just wanted to come over and give you a hug”.

Is this a thing that women of that age group do now on a night out?

My friend was agog.

Because I said he has autism?

The only other information I’ve given about his demeanor tonight is that he was smiling, so I’m not sure what you’re getting at.

Pick-pocket tactic?

I am thinking he looks sad too. That's the only thing that makes sense.

I was going to ask if he wears expensive watches.

It is apparently a way to take your watch without you even realising it. There was a Times article last year.

The only time I have known this is with my partner and our long term friends. But that's because he is massive and give really lovely cuddles!

tell him to stop wearing his ‘come and hug me’ Tshirt and he’ll find it quickly stops

My dh gets this a lot. But we own a restaurant and a lot of women tens to get tipsy and think this is OK... maybe it's just women being friendly/flirty. As long as he handles it well, don't give it another thought

Sounds like a bad game of guess who 😂 . But seriously, never heard anything like this sounds very strange. Is he very good looking through?

I want to hug your husband now.

See, this is the kind of response I’m looking for!

I think it must be something. He’s approached by women in two places- pubs (younger women looking for hugs) and in supermarkets (older women, typically, looking for him to reach things on high shelves 😂). I just don’t get the pub/hug thing so there has to be something driving it.

I don’t think it’s a pick-pocket thing. He doesn’t wear an expensive watch or anything designer really. Plus he’s a big man when the pub was full of easier targets (eg, me- tend to leave my handbag fend for itself)

I’m laughing at people saying he must look sad. He was literally standing in a pub, holding a pint, chatting to his friend about football. He was laughing and perfectly happy. He looked no more unhappy than any of the other people in the pub in doing the exact same thing.

Is he very good looking

Well, I obviously think he’s gorgeous but I’m very biased. Objectively, he’s certainly nice looking and generally attractive, but not the kind of handsome that would stand out in a packed room. He definitely stands out because of his height though so could be that- a sort of lighthouse to hugless women.

All the things that attracted me most to him aren’t things you’d know just by looking at him (the most gorgeous speaking voice, really intelligent, can parallel park in his sleep).

In general though, he’s oblivious to women flirting with him. I’ve seen it a few times and it just does not register with him. He’s very literal so if a woman is asking him flirty questions, he’ll just give a very straight answer. It’s very funny to watch.

That’s really odd, do you think they’re being a bit mean and taking the piss out of him?

Well assuming you are not Mrs Claus as you implied in your earlier post! (I'd you are, I'd love to hug your DH too !) then he sounds a bit like my DH!!

My DH is tall, wears lovely jumpers and I always want to hug him! I can see the jumpers and height attracting the odd older lady to want to hug him to!!

I know you say he doesn't look sad, but with ASD there is perhaps some vibe he's giving off that says 'im vulnerable'. My DH doesn't have autism, but does have traits and often gives off a 'i need a hug' but am not at all huggy vibe (even if he is totally happy!)

Given him horror movie t shirts and piercings and ditch the huggy jumpers if you want this behaviour to stop!! Or just accept your Mr Claus is huggable! 🎅

Awww... Don't think that was an insult OP!! It's just Eeyore is one of those 'people' you just want to hug!!!

Weird and inappropriate. They would be accused of sexual harassment if they were men doing this to women.

It’s the drink OP! We were out on Friday and a group of mid 20 - 30 year olds decided my DH looked like Jamie Fraser, I can assure you he’s no Jamie but they wanted selfies 😂. It’s the beer goggles…

I don’t think so. Women seem to genuinely just want to hug him and be near him. Actually, children are the same (I’m not helping the Santa rumours here)- he usually ends up with a little troupe of small kids following him around at family events.

He’s tall (6’ 4” so tall but not on the outlandish side) and on the handsome side of nice looking, but generally nondescript so don’t think there’s anything about him that most people would comment on; good or bad.

I think thats a bit odd, I remember a few years ago there was a scam mainly in Oxford st London, where a random stranger would act all smiley and try to hug you. Whilst stealing your purse/bag your friends bag etc

Zara?

I think it's just his thing and you have to accept it.

My first thought is he must be tall. The only time I've seen this happen was with a friend who was 6'7", however I wouldn't say 6'4" was unusually tall, I mean obviously tall but not so tall they've rarely seen it tall. My friend would have people asking for photos etc, was plainly ridiculous.

Hmm ok, if you say so.

a sort of lighthouse to hugless women
Whether trolling or not, this turn of phrase is excellent.

😱

Wtf