AIBU to think men shouldn’t be trying to push open doors in female toilets?

[Inertia]

Was a bit stunned to encounter this twice on holiday. Poolside toilet block split into male and female. Four toilets in female section , only 2 could be properly locked, but always busy so lots of women/ girls used unlockable ones.

Twice, while I was washing my hands, different men came in to the female toilets with their daughters (around 5/6 yo) and started pushing at the toilet doors to see which ones were occupied (no visible sign to indicate) . Neither spoke English, so I ended saying quite loudly / firmly “no, there’s someone in there!” The women/ girls having the doors pushed also shouted out. Eventually they took their children to the men’s.

AIBU to think that men shouldn’t be pushing women’s toilet cubicle doors open on the pretext of taking their daughters to the loo? It wasn’t just grown women there, it was teenage and younger girls. Why should small girls on the loo face grown men barging in on them ?

The issue and resolution really lies more in the resort to provide better ample lockable toilets. Did you mention it to any member of staff?

While it is inappropriate for any man to start pushing female toilet doors open I would say that if he has a young daughter then his intentions aren't malicious...the alternative is that he brings his little girl into male toilets with ?potential urinals which is inappropriate for a little girl to see.

As a slightly separate issue, there seems to be an imbalance of changing facilities in that they're generally in womens only. This irritates me as my husband has often come back to me saying he can't change our baby because the changing facilities are only in the females...like why?! It is the most archaic ideology that only women change babies nappies.

The problem here is the locks. If it's not obvious if it's occupied and the child needs a wee then there's a problem.

It’s going on the feedback.

I don’t understand why it’s inappropriate for girls to go into the men’s loo, but apparently appropriate for other small girls using the toilet to be barged in on by unknown men.

Why can’t the dad just wait at the door? I felt cross that I didn’t have the language to convey that these men were intruding on other girls.

Yes, there should be baby changing in a separate family room.

Totally inappropriate for men to be in womens toilets full stop.

They should be taking their daughters into the mens, the same they would with their sons.

Dont agree that men who do this ‘aren’t malicious’. They don’t see women’s toilets as something that’s not for them - they barge their way in because they can with no consideration of the women in there and how they feel about their presence.

A little girl should not be in mens toilets because if there are urinals (which 9/10 there are) then men stand with their penises out?

Then the little girls will see those men’s backs, not their penises.

Is it ok for little boys to see men’s penises?

She’s with her dad - she is fine. Her right not to see a man’s back does not trump the rights of women to retain their single sex spaces.

scoobycute but neither should men be in womens toilets.

You cannot see a penis when a man is using a urinal, unless you go to stand next to him.
No adult males should go into women’s toilets. If necessary, dads should take small girls into the men’s toilets

Trust me, those men understand "piss off" shouted in almost any language! Seriously, though, OP, don';t just wring your hands online, go to reception and tell the staff that this is happening.

The weekly toilet door thread
Can we save time?

These spaces are for women and girls
He's got a female child with him so it's fine
These spaces are for women and girls
He's got a female child with him
These.....
Anyway so it will go for many pages, some will agree, some won't.
It will never be resolved on here, everyone will argue until they fall asleep and then carry on tomorrow.

With all due respect, this simply doesn't happen. Chaps get in have a wee and get out as quickly as possible. There is no standing about with penises waving around.

No it’s not fine.

A child goes to the toilet that the adult they’re with would use. That’s the rule

I’m assuming the man didn’t know there was a person in the cubicle and didn’t continue to push it open after the person inside let it be known it was occupied?

Why are urinals even a thing? I used to have to clean store toilets as part of my job, men shake the drips off in front of the urinals, which accounts for most of the smell and sticky floors. Get rid of the urinals, then dads can take their daughters into the men's. Although it doesn't solve the problem of men who leave the doors open (and they do).

I think it’s time we got rid of urinals. I k ow my DH doesn’t use them because he says there’s always one tosser who pisses ferociously meaning splashback occurs 🤮

So what if he didn't keep pushing??? He shouldn't have been in there to push the door in the first place.
Parents take their child into toilet allocated to the parent's sex. End of. Being a father doesn't give a man the right to go where he likes.

This? Again?

Ever been in a men's loo?

No child will see a penis in a men's loo.

Talk to the resort - replace the locks and better signs.

You can’t take little girls into mens Lois because of dicks out over the urinals, the hotel either needs to direct then to baby changing loo, or at the least, they need to knock on the outer door of the women’s loo and say they are coming in and give it a beat till they do, or ideally wait outside.

Agree that it’s time for open urinals to go. That would solve a lot.

She’s with her dad - she is fine. Her right not to see a man’s back does not trump the rights of women to retain their single sex spaces.

Apart from when a mother is taking her son into the women's toilets naturally.

Regarding urinals, obviously you've never seen one as you wouldn't enter a male space but often they're just troughs so quite open. Some have single urinals with large dividers but not all. Therefore, it's quite possible to see a line if penis's upon entering a men's toilet.

Although it's never been an issue for my family as they're just body parts and not exactly sacred.

@knittingaddict

You what? There are many penises on display in men’s loos. As any woman who regularly drunkenly barged into them as a student trying to skip the queue (not proud of that now) knows.

Agree. Complete nonsense.

Why are they pushing the door and not knocking? We had a man ask for permission to use the ladies toilet he stood at the entrance asked if it was OK to bring his daughter in (elder sen child) as the disabled toilet was busy

This. Always. Dads should be chaperoning their DDs in the men's, shepherding them past the urinals if necessary. Men should never be in the ladies loos.

Men should not be in women toilets.
If they have a child with them then they should go In The mens toilets.
I have been in many mens toilets, in fact I looked in one today.
I have never, not once, seen a man’s dick whilst I’ve been in there.