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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

3 massive bin bags of toys OH failed to tell me about

61 replies

UnreasonableOrNot · 03/08/2022 12:17

So for context we live in a tiny flat and I'm routinely donating toys to charity that my DC have grown out of using as we're short on space. I'm conscious not to buy random things for the sake of it.

I had a missed call from FIL this morning so said to OH I need to call your dad back I didn't hear him call me. OH says oh don't worry about it I've already spoken to him he just wanted to check in and see how we are.

OH leaves for work and an hour later FIL arrives. I had no idea he was coming as OH didn't tell me. Fil comes in struggling with 3 huge bin bags full of toys.

DC are over the moon and excited and before I know it they've ripped open the bags admiring their new treasures.

I'm now in a v awkward position as I don't want to offend FIL or upset the kids but there's no way we have space for this lot. I'm going to call DSC mum shortly and ask whether she/DSC would like some toys.

FIL said OH knew he was coming with the toys, OH just failed to tell me as he knew for a fact I would say I'm not accepting bags and bags of stuff.

AIBU to think OH is a sly git for failing to tell me and buggering off to work?

OP posts:
Brigante9 · 03/08/2022 12:18

Bag up the lot and tell him to take them back to his dad. The dc will survive.

purplecorkheart · 03/08/2022 12:18

To be fair to your DH he probably was not expecting three bin bags of toys

Ponoka7 · 03/08/2022 12:22

You need to speak to your FIL and say that you don't have room for that level of toys going forward.

totallybonafido · 03/08/2022 12:22

YANBU. That would infuriate me. I have a hoarder DH, who never wants to get rid of things, and brings random things home that people have given him. I'd tell him he needs to find a place for them if he wants to keep them!

bubblescoop · 03/08/2022 12:23

YABU. Don’t be so miserable.

hellosunshineagainx · 03/08/2022 12:26

bubblescoop · 03/08/2022 12:23

YABU. Don’t be so miserable.

Agree. Wait a few weeks embrace the chaos then have a declutter of all their toys and donate

Original poster
UnreasonableOrNot · 03/08/2022 12:45

bubblescoop · 03/08/2022 12:23

YABU. Don’t be so miserable.

I cant cross the room for standing on toys and this is just one side..

3 massive bin bags of toys OH failed to tell me about
OP posts:
BiddyPop · 03/08/2022 12:50

Isn't it wonderful all the toys that Grandad got you to play with in his house?

itsgettingweird · 03/08/2022 12:53

Most of those just seem like soft toys?

Easy to put in a pop up laundry basket from pound shop.

Task the children with finding a home for them and tidy up and any that can't be put away to back in an alternative bin bag!

Sparkletastic · 03/08/2022 12:55

YANBY. They aren't even fun toys - they are just stuffed animals.

Original poster
UnreasonableOrNot · 03/08/2022 12:57

Lots of soft toys yes hence needing three bags.

I could buy one of those net toy hammocks and let them choose their favourites and keep them up there.

Not shown in picture is the massive nerf guns, wrestling ring and about 50 wrestlers. Multiple cars ranging in size from small to big 🤯

DSC are 10 & 11 and I think they'll love the wrestling ring and figures I bloody hope so

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 03/08/2022 12:57

Are they DSC who live at yours part time or your kids and you also have DSC? I don't think you get the ultimate choice in accepting a gift from the kids father's fmaily, he has a right to accept stuff into his house too.

However I would once he's home suggest he needs to find out where to put them or to thin them out as HE accepted them.

Are they new or second hand?

Mally100 · 03/08/2022 13:00

Where did he even get these toys from? I would let then get busy with it and in a few weeks ask them to keep a few each and donate the rest.

Original poster
UnreasonableOrNot · 03/08/2022 13:02

SleepingStandingUp · 03/08/2022 12:57

Are they DSC who live at yours part time or your kids and you also have DSC? I don't think you get the ultimate choice in accepting a gift from the kids father's fmaily, he has a right to accept stuff into his house too.

However I would once he's home suggest he needs to find out where to put them or to thin them out as HE accepted them.

Are they new or second hand?

We have 2 DC together and then there's my 2 DSC (his boys from his prev relationship)

They're second hand but lovely condition and wouldn't have been cheap brand new. There's Disney ones, 5 build a bears etc.

FIL's friend was taking them to charity and he asked whether he could have them for his grandchildren.

It's a lovely gesture it really is and FIL is very kind I'm just a bit 🤯🤯 as I was already due a de clutter as they have lots of things they no longer play with.

OP posts:
CatSeany · 03/08/2022 13:02

Where did they even get that many toys?! I'd be horrified!

Johnnysgirl · 03/08/2022 13:02

Brigante9 · 03/08/2022 12:18

Bag up the lot and tell him to take them back to his dad. The dc will survive.

Do people really behave with so little grace in real life? Hmm

PeppaPigIsAnnoying · 03/08/2022 13:08

I have a strict "one in, one out" policy to prevent the OH bringing shit back from his parent's or wider family

Not necessarily kids toys but pots and pans etc. If he brings something back something goes in the bin. We don't have room for other people's shite

Mally100 · 03/08/2022 13:08

Aww he was sweet to think of his gc. Let the kids play with it and then donate it once school starts again.

Banthafodder · 03/08/2022 13:10

I think Facebook marketplace could be your friend here - encourage DCs to choose favourites then list the rest for sale. Use the money for a fun family day out as an incentive.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 03/08/2022 13:11

You should sell the wrestlers, and check if you have any rare ones.

10HailMarys · 03/08/2022 13:13

There are always people on these sorts of threads who say things like 'Oh, just get this/that storage container for them' or 'Just put them under the bed' or 'It's just a few bits and pieces'. Those people clearly do not understand what it's like to literally not have the space to put things in. Not everyone has a convenient corner where they can just pop a couple of baskets to fill with soft toys. Sometimes 'under the bed' is the space where all the kids' other stuff already has to live.

OP, I feel your pain and this would drive me mad. Three bin-bags, FFS?

StaplesCorner · 03/08/2022 13:15

bubblescoop · 03/08/2022 12:23

YABU. Don’t be so miserable.

I see your FiL is a Mumsnetter …🤔

LannieDuck · 03/08/2022 13:17

Sounds like DH has a big job to do after work - sorting through the three bags of toys, choosing which to keep, finding space for them, and taking the others to a charity shop etc.

Original poster
UnreasonableOrNot · 03/08/2022 13:18

10HailMarys · 03/08/2022 13:13

There are always people on these sorts of threads who say things like 'Oh, just get this/that storage container for them' or 'Just put them under the bed' or 'It's just a few bits and pieces'. Those people clearly do not understand what it's like to literally not have the space to put things in. Not everyone has a convenient corner where they can just pop a couple of baskets to fill with soft toys. Sometimes 'under the bed' is the space where all the kids' other stuff already has to live.

OP, I feel your pain and this would drive me mad. Three bin-bags, FFS?

Thank you!

We really are so tight on space. All our available storage is already full. I can buy a net hammock and stick it up above DC bed with a few teddies in even though she already has one up in the corner of her room and it's overflowing as it is but there's no way I can store everything.

We're hoping to move in the next year or so but until then there just isn't the space.

OP posts:
Original poster
UnreasonableOrNot · 03/08/2022 13:18

StaplesCorner · 03/08/2022 13:15

I see your FiL is a Mumsnetter …🤔

Show quote history

He can barely navigate FB marketplace. Bless him 😂

OP posts:
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