3 massive bin bags of toys OH failed to tell me about

[UnreasonableOrNot]

So for context we live in a tiny flat and I'm routinely donating toys to charity that my DC have grown out of using as we're short on space. I'm conscious not to buy random things for the sake of it.

I had a missed call from FIL this morning so said to OH I need to call your dad back I didn't hear him call me. OH says oh don't worry about it I've already spoken to him he just wanted to check in and see how we are.

OH leaves for work and an hour later FIL arrives. I had no idea he was coming as OH didn't tell me. Fil comes in struggling with 3 huge bin bags full of toys.

DC are over the moon and excited and before I know it they've ripped open the bags admiring their new treasures.

I'm now in a v awkward position as I don't want to offend FIL or upset the kids but there's no way we have space for this lot. I'm going to call DSC mum shortly and ask whether she/DSC would like some toys.

FIL said OH knew he was coming with the toys, OH just failed to tell me as he knew for a fact I would say I'm not accepting bags and bags of stuff.

AIBU to think OH is a sly git for failing to tell me and buggering off to work?

I would let the kids keep them for a few days then just start whittling the toys down.
Yes it's more trips to the charity shop, but it's school holidays, loads of time to kill and good to get out and about.

Easy to say that when you don't have to live with it.

Op I'd wait until your kids and oh go to bed, then put the whole lot into his car. Let him get stressed and deal with it. Tell the kids they have enough toys and daddy is going to donate them to a charity so other children with no toys can get some.

I've a four bed house and I'd be pissed off with this!

I’d probably just tolerate it as it’s the holidays and think of it as some free entertainment and then mentally make note that it’s all going at some point. Offer the dsc to take the wrestling stuff home, cull the soft toys and keep decluttering existing toys. I’m a hard core declutterer so I feel your pain at this invasion but also know that with kids that it’s a never ending cycle to stay on top of it. I’m sure there is plenty you can get rid of that will go unnoticed.

I think we're married to the same person. It drives me crazy. The worst part is that he gets annoyed when I have a clear out but doesn't realise that if I didn't we'd be living in a dump and there wouldn't be any space left anywhere by now. Rant over.

OP, I feel you.

I'm going to leave the room exactly as it is and see what he says when he comes home later. I'll just smile sweetly.

On a serious note my DM was the worst for doing things like this. We love charity shops our lot esp DM and she would come round with random crap every time she visited. I put a stop to that and now FIL has started 😬

This room had just been tidied aswell...

After a teddy bear's picnic and a week of joyous mayhem, I'd let them choose one build a bear each, wash them, stick them in bed. Pass the toys to dsc they would like. Take the rest to charity but let your dc hand them over, a bag each, so they can feel good. Alternatively, lay them all out on a blanket on the pavement and do a street sale or park sale.

Dobby anyone?

It's always going to look like chaos chucked all over the floor.

If that’s a jellycat bunny, you can send him my way.

In all honesty I’d be seething, we’re drowning under toys here too.

Love the positive attitude 😊

Good heavens, that's quite a soft-toy explosion! Sweet that your fil thought of the kids, but I understand your frustration. We've just had a huge soft toy clearout, whete I bribed my kids with money (😱😱) to get rid of their least favourite ones. Anyway, I'd do this... Get the kids to pick a certain number of their favourite to keep, a few to live at fil's, and a few to donate. If they insist on keeping more, tell them they have to swap them for other older toys of theirs to donate.

Call them summer toys, they can keep them and you'll just have to manage until 1st September and then they can be sorted out and taken to charity for other grateful children to play with

Its not a massive issue unless you make it one.

A quick glance...
The Stitch are Disney and will be worth something, as has been said already about the wrestlers. There is an ET there which also has a value and I think I can see a Sofology Sloth which were only available with the sofas and were selling for about £20.

Indeed, but there's nowhere else to put them now as DC ripped through the bin bags they arrived in.

Existing toy box Is full. Additional toy box ontop of wardrobe is full. Storage cupboard is full. Plastic drawer storage is full.

There's definitely some lovely teddies. The build a bears aren't cheap and there are 5 of those in perfect nick. PP correctly spotted a jellycat bunny. There are numerous versions of Disney's Stitch from the Disney store. A silicone dobby from Harry Potter which I think is pretty cool.

I've had a quick look on ebay and there are loads of listings for the wrestlers so they seem popular but I'm going to give them to DSC later on.

Fuck a duck that’s a lot of stuff.

Let them have free range for a day or so and then tell them it’s time to decide what they like the most because we’re going to share them with DSC. Let them pick a few things to keep, suggest putting some ‘away for later’ and what can we give to the boys and girls with no toys?

Whittle it down send most of it to the charity shops, thank FIL for his generosity but say never again! Also tell DH not to accept three full bags of toys! I don’t blame you at all, I’d be livid at this.

Two Jellycats

That is a bit off as the original donor was going to donate them to charity before FIL asked for them. I would assume that someone requesting toys for his grandchildren meant "for them to play with" not "for them to sell".

That aside, OP, I fully appreciate your predicament, and yes, your husband was being massively sly and unreasonable.

Another Jellycat.

Some good ideas here with what to do with it all. They can have free run with it all for a week or so as long as OH picks it all up DSC can take what they like, my DC can pick their favourites and take the rest of it to charity.

For the soft toys, I'd do a 2-stage process. First, buy one of those soft toy storage bean bags and have a preliminary 'cull' into the bean bag of any soft toys in the house that don't seem immediately wanted:

www.amazon.co.uk/MiniOwls-STORAGE-BAG-Stuffed-Organizer/dp/B075BHPQYQ?th=1

It's extra seating somewhere in the house and will at least keep them from being an eyesore.

Second, at the end of the summer, do a real cull of any soft toys still in the bean bag that haven't be asked after and send them to the charity shop or sell them.

I've never seen those bean bag storages before, genuis!

are the children old enough to help sort ..?
I'd be quickly snaffling anything valuable, and getting them sold.
tell DC that money made is going towards a treat for all of you/them..day out at theme park ? weekend away ? trip to cinema and pizza ? whatever floats their boat but they need to help with sorting/photographing etc ( if they are old enough)
These assets i would be taking off and putting in box in your bedroom for time being while being sold ( i could put up with a box hanging round for a week or so)
the rest..i'd let dsc take what appeals to them ( as long as their mum agreed) and then they get to play with rest for next week or so ( drink gin to cope with clutter rage) as we know they will soon loose interest and then you can declutter and take to charity shops

i got my 2 younger DDs to do a big declutter on their clothes ( they are older teens) and tidy up of the floor-robes ..with promise of any money made on vinted could be theirs ...worked so well, one dd now has very minimlistic wardrobe and has £150 in her bank account
i am slightly worried she is eyeing up my clothes to sell next

That is a bit off as the original donor was going to donate them to charity before FIL asked for them. I would assume that someone requesting toys for his grandchildren meant "for them to play with" not "for them to sell".
Agree. If you don't want them, give them to the charity shop they were en route to when FIL waylaid them...
It'd be so grabby to make money off them yourself.

I didn’t know they did a Xmas version of stitch.

Il have to look online for one for my daughter for Xmas. She loves him.

but YANBU. I’d hate that many stuffed animals