Boyfriend pays for only fans

[maskedmother]

Just curious of other peoples opinion, would you be bothered or consider it cheating if your partner has an only fans subscription? Recently discovered my boyfriend pays for it for this particular woman. We have a son together and I'm now pregnant with our second. I feel betrayed by this, but I don't know if I'm over reacting/hormonal etc. Is it a big deal? I know he watches porn but this seems more personal.

I would consider that to be cheating.

I would consider this cheating. I believe you can message the person you're buying from, which you should check if he's doing. I'm sorry x

I'd also consider it cheating personally, it's much more personal than watching porn.

Yes that’s not ok.

I don't know if he messages them privately or just watching the content.
Would you consider it cheating either way?

Is it someone moderately famous like Mandy from hollyoaks, or a random person?

I know that sounds ridiculous, but as a bloke, this was the first thing that entered my head.

if it’s the former, it’s an 🙄 situation - not a good thing but it’s an outlandish fantasy, and it’s something to say you’re uncomfortable with and let him decide what he’s going to do.

The latter (a random person) however feels far worse - it’s not what I would expect from someone in a serious relationship.

Do you want to be with a man that pays other women to perform sex acts on camera for him?

I'd move on 100%

I would consider it to be cheating and him believing women are commodities whose bodies can be bought. What do you think OP?

I am not sure if I would consider it cheating exactly, but it crosses a line imo and I would tell him to stop.

Ewww

This. Plus you can guarantee he’d be outraged if you were paying men to do this in secret.

You deserve better.

I don't think it's cheating. I still wouldn't be happy about it, but is it really much different to him looking up pictures of women and masturbating over them? If it turns out he's interacting with the woman that's crossing another boundary but I still don't think it's cheating.

I agree - though there is a strange, but moral side to this to consider. Other men/people infringe on the copyright and search for leaked versions of the videos and images of only fans content producers. That to me is even worse.

At least in this case he’s making sure the person gets compensated for it.

Oh wow.

Yeah, that's not great.
That is so disrespectful.
I think it's one thing for men to watch porn and whatnot but quite another to actually be paying to watch a particular girl.

I would be fuming.
As someone else said..how would he feel if you were doing it? Set up an account and see how he reacts!

That is so horrible considering you have a kid and one on the way.

Every man watches free porn but paying is different, you probably should have a chat if you feel hurt and if he hasn't told you.

Thanks everyone for the input. I'm not sure if she's famous or not, I certainly haven't heard of her but she has a big following on Instagram, 98k.

The other issue is I came across it on his old phone, I wasn't looking for that but there it was. Yes I know it looks bad and I'm now partly at fault. But i can't just sit on this and not say anything, I have no idea how to approach it without looking like I was snooping.

So even if you don’t consider it cheating, it’s kind of a low bar anyway, right? Would you want your daughter’s future boyfriend to be engaging in this sort of content, and be totally cool with it? As a op said, you deserve better. I mean this kindly, but have some respect for yourself.

Grim grim grim😨but then I wouldn't put up with a man who needed any kind of porn, even if he was drooling over victorian postcards, it is the mind set I object to.

I know several men who think porn is grim. I'm not saying they have never watched it or even that they never will again, but it's not a universal truth that all men have to watch porn. We can expect better!

He'd very quickly be an ex if mine was doing that. It's extremely disrespectful to you

i would find that grotesque. You are allowed to be furious about this.

He's not a teenager fooling around, he's a grown up with a partner, kids, responsibilities. I would not be happy at all and would feel betrayed as well, it would also make me question who he was as a person and whether we were just too different morally and had different values. It is basically prostitution not porn, because it's interactive/live and he's paying for a service.

cheating in my book